The Cylon's Son
by Llewellyn McEllis
Summary: Kendra's husband was killed just before the attack on the Colonies. Safe on the Gemenon Traveler, she learned a grave secret about his identity. A new start on New Caprica brings the past back to haunt her, unraveling everything she thought she knew.
1. Chapter 1

The Cylon's Son is a sequel to "I Watched You Die" which was written about two years ago and can be found on my profile. I hope to reveal enough of the plot details throughout the story, however, that you would not have to read the other story. Reading the other story may be fun though.

"I'm sorry, miss, but the president is in a meeting," Felix Gaeta barely looked up from the dossier in front of him to wave the young woman at the edge of his desk away. "He won't be taking any other appointments today."

She smiled with ease and shook her head, "Is that what he told you to say?"

Felix had spent the morning listening to the New Caprica City Worker's Union rant about unfair working conditions and the government's obvious lackadaisical approach to permanent housing. He lifted a hand to his temple and pressed hard against the ache before releasing a sigh. "It's the truth, now if you'll leave your name and information, we can contact you with appointment information once President Baltar's schedule is a little less stretched."

"He used to have me send all of his calls to voicemail whenever he was occupied," the last word was stressed with a hint of implied amusement. "I'm Kendra, Mr. Gaeta," she extended her hand. "Kendra Warfield. I was Doctor Baltar's administrative assistant at the Colonial Ministry of Defense on Caprica. I believe he's expecting me."

"Ms. Warfield," he pushed the chair away from the table. "I'm so sorry," he reached out to take her hand and offered an apologetic squeeze. "It's been a very hectic day and I completely forgot about your appointment."

"That's why I'm here," she withdrew her hand and glanced toward the office. "To alleviate some of the stress he's obviously been weighing you down with."

The door separating them from the Presidential office opened and Gaius Baltar stuck his head out. He scanned the room, his gaze stopping to meet with Kendra's before a wide, cunning grin transformed his wary face.

"Kendra," he slipped out of the office and began toward her. "You have no idea how surprised I was to hear from you once we'd broken ground here on New Caprica. Of all of my acquaintances…" he shook his head before shrugging his shoulder slightly upward and furrowing his brow. "Well, you know, so few of our friends and loved ones…" He was still shaking his head, the loose tendrils of his brown hair jostling alongside his face. "It's wonderful to see you."

He opened his arms to her, and Kendra moved forward to embrace her former employer. "Dr. Baltar," she pressed her cheek against his. "You're quite a sight for sore eyes."

"And you," he said, "and you. Felix, will you excuse us, please? Kendra and I have a lot of catching up to do." Gaius noted as he withdrew from her arms. "No more appointments today, please. I'll be tied up the rest of the afternoon."

"Of course, Mr. President," Felix nodded, and watched the young woman follow Baltar into his office. He hadn't known her for more than a few seconds, but somehow he'd sensed she was different than all of the other playgirls that showed up to appease Gaius Baltar's appetites. "I look forward to working with you, Ms. Warfield."

Kendra glanced back over her shoulder and offered Felix a slow, genuine grin. "And I you, Mr. Gaeta."

Gaius Baltar closed the door behind Kendra and regarded her with wary eyes before gesturing toward the chair on the opposite side of his desk. "Won't you have a seat, Kendra?"

"Thank you."

"I must say, I was rather surprised to hear from you," he admitted, rolling around to take a seat opposite of her. He opened the drawer of his desk and took out a bottle of distilled alcohol and poured them both a drink. "Especially under the circumstances."

"And what circumstances would those be, Dr. Baltar?"

"Come now, Kendra," he pushed the glass across the desk toward her. "We both know which circumstances to which I am referring."

"There were two sets of circumstances, Dr. Baltar," she reached out and took the glass, drawing it back. "One of them was your assistant on Caprica."

His face blanched, eyes widened as his brow furrowed almost frantically. It took him a moment to regain his composure, at which time he sat back in his chair, on hand still coiled around his drink, the other rested steadily beside it. "And the other would be your husband."

"I think we understand each other, Doctor Baltar," she drew the glass to her lips and tossed the drink back. "I need a job right now," she lowered the empty glass onto the desktop and Baltar watched her slide it toward him. "I need a little security. My son," her long eyes cast downward, there was an obvious waver in her voice. "I have to provide for him."

Gaius reached across the desk and laid his hand atop Kendra's. "Of course you do," he nodded. "And I will see to it that your work for me here is well rewarded. Your son shall never know want as long as you work for me."

Lifting her gaze, the slow certainty of a smile twitched at he corners of her mouth, "I knew I could count on you, Doctor Baltar."

"What if she's bluffing, Gaius?" The Six in his head snaked her arms around his shoulders and peered across the table at the young woman there. "It's her word over yours and you're the President now and you're not even willing to challenge her."

The stretch of his nervous grin didn't reach his eyes, and while he seemed momentarily relieved on the outside, he was deeply troubled. "Kendra," he started, and then thought better of it, shaking his head and holding up his hand in a gesture of dismissal. "It is really wonderful to see a familiar face again, the face of someone I know I can trust."

"It's good to see you too, Doctor," she admitted. "The greatest time of my life was the time I worked for you on Caprica."

"Yes," he noted with a grave nod, "the time before your husband was murdered."

"Yes, well," discomfort made her fidget in her seat. "I try not to think too much about it," she said. "About him."

Six leaned closer and whispered, "It's a lie." Her moistened grin was broadened by a twisted sense of satisfaction. "She thinks about him night and day, wonders if she'll ever see him again, if her son will ever know his father."

"Some things are best left in the past," he said.

"I feel the same way," she admitted, pushing away from the desk. "Thank you for the drink, and for the opportunity, I won't let you down."

"Of course you won't," his smile came easier this time. "You were always a hard worker, and I look forward to having your organizational hand in my affairs."

"Well, I should be on my way. I promised Tamlyn I wouldn't leave her alone with Ares too long, especially since she'll be keeping him on a more full time basis while I'm working. Thank you again for the opportunity."

"It's my pleasure," he said. "I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Bright and early," she promised, before slipping out the door and closing it behind her.

Gaius Baltar sighed relief and lowered his head into his hands, the long tendrils of his hair falling inward to hide his face.

"You disappoint me, Gaius," Six said. "Allowing her to come in here and threaten to expose you the way she did. You have just as much on her as she has on you."

"Perhaps," he lowered his hands. "But I've got far more to lose right now. I did what I thought was best for me… for us."

"For us?" She cooed thoughtfully and lifted his chin with a finger. "Tell me, Gaius, how exactly have you helped us?"

"Do you remember how brokenhearted you were when you learned that our child was dead?" Gaius asked. "That Hera had died?"

"Her child," There was an uncommon tenderness in her voice when she spoke those words. Six looked toward the door Kendra Warfield had walked through only moments earlier with a sense of longing and then she shook her head. "Sometimes you surprise me, Gaius."


	2. Chapter 2

It was amazing how quiet the city seemed during a storm, but underneath the surface it was impossible to sleep. Winds rent through tents like razors, the flapping alone more raucous than thunder and the damp that set in against the chill would have half of New Caprica City sick before morning. Kendra rolled over in her cot and shifted her body carefully to avoid disturbing her sleeping son.

A lingering hand brushed the sandy locks of hair from her little boy's face, the movement evoking a contented sigh from him before he nestled his face down deeper into the pillows. Sometimes he awed her completely, his very existence a strange miracle she'd never quite been able to wrap her mind around, and though she was still confused about his father, the greater part of her still wished that he had lived long enough to see his baby born, the baby he had covetously promised every time they made love.

_Sunlight streamed through the sliding balcony doors and as he positioned himself on his elbows above her, the glow around him ethereal as he lowered his chin against her neck and whispered, "You know I watch you sleep." Warm breath preceded the playful nip of his teeth against her flesh. "Under light of moon your skin bathed in alabaster light… perfect, peaceful." Eyes the color of a stormy sea searched her face as though he were memorizing every detail. "Like an angel." _

_The sting of emotion blurred her vision, and she blinked quickly to hide how overwhelmed his love still made her feel. "I'm no angel," she whispered. _

_He looked inside her and for a moment she felt as though he had really looked inside her, past the façade all people wore to disguise their insecurities. "I wish you could see you the way I see you." The gravelly brush of his chin scraped delicately across her cheek as he descended to whisper in her ear. "You are perfect in my eyes." He lowered himself nearer to her and she raised her thigh against his hip, pressing into him in near desperation. "I want to have a hundred babies with you." _

_"I think one or two would probably suffice," she laughed against his playful kiss._

_"God wants for us to be fruitful," he said, "and multiply."_

_"Well in that case," she lifted her arms around his neck to draw him closer. _

_Struggling bodies fought to become closer, to merge into one melted creation, one being that lived and breathed only each other. One voice that cried to the heavens in magnanimous celebration of glory and wonder. _

_And it was glorious, the way their bodies fit so perfectly together. Even long after he lay sleeping beside her and she rolled onto her elbow to watch him dream, she still felt as the bond and connection of their bodies. "I love you," she lowered her lips against his temple before she withdrew and brushed the sandy locks of hair from his forehead. _

_He'd saved her life. In reflection, that had probably been his intention all along… to get her off of Caprica before the attacks. Whether or not he'd known that he wouldn't be making the trip with her, she'd never know. She'd learned that she was pregnant two months after the attacks and while living on the Gemenon Traveler she'd discovered a horrible truth._

_"Oh my Gods!" she gasped. "I thought you were dead." _

_Before the words had even left her, his quick hand had reached for her throat, tight fingers squeezing her windpipe so that she cold scarcely breathe. "Please," she croaked. "Please, there is something you should…" His hand grew tighter, the force pressing her into the wall so hard she could feel the bruises forming along the base of her spine. "Wait, there is something you should know, please." _

_"You don't know me," He continued to squeeze, and her vision was starting to ebb. Soon she'd be dead. "You don't know me."_

_ Her eyes blurred over with tears, and she blinked several times to try and clear them, to clear her mind, because surely what she saw before her wasn't real._

_"I have something you want," she managed. _

_The abomination before her tilted his head, his silvery-green eyes curious enough to loosen the grip around her throat. "What could you possibly have that is of interest to me?"_

_She swallowed against the pain, and reached up to rub the place where his hand had been. "I was your wife," she said. "Once."_

_Those familiar eyes did not flare to life with recognition, nor did he even seem to care. Panic mingled with horror when he loomed in close again. "I've never been married."_

"Bu I saw you die," she whispered, ignoring the burn of agony in her throat. It was almost as though she could still feel his fingers tightening and squeezing, but after her announcement he had backed away and lowered his eyes from hers. "On Caprica. You were shot right in front of me. You died in my arms."

_"I don't know what you saw, but it wasn't me."_

_"Then who? I think I would know my own husband." Hot tears dripped down her cheeks. "I would know you anywhere."_

_"Your husband had a dark secret then," he shook his head. "He didn't tell you who he really was."_

_"Are you his brother?"_

_The face of the man she knew better than she knew herself lightened for a moment with a smile, "I wish it were so simple."_

_"Then please," she pleaded. "Explain it to me? What am I to tell my unborn child about his father?"_

_The dark light in his eyes suddenly shifted, and he backed slowly away from her. "Your unborn child?"_

_Kendra nodded eagerly, a part of her hoping that this admission would bring some shred of truth from him, some explanation that would make everything okay, but a long shadow crawled down the length of his face, into his neck as he turned away. "You must tell no one who your husband was, who your child's father is, or you will both die. Do you understand me?"_

_"No," she stammered. "I don't understand. Why?"_

_"Because your husband was a Cylon," he said. "Your unborn child is a miracle."_

_The soldiers had come then and taken him away, locked him up for questioning. He'd been tortured, she knew it from the look of him when the President arrived. Kendra watched from the shadows then as they sent him out the airlock. Conflicted and afraid, she cried herself to sleep that night feeling as though she'd lost him all over again, even though he wasn't her husband, even as he hadn't known her._

_Word traveled quickly then. The government tried to keep it under wraps, but soon everyone was talking about it. The Cylons looked like everyone else. Anyone could be a toaster. She said nothing, and wiled away her grief in silence until the day she first held him in her arms. Her baby boy, her salvation._

"Momma," the cry of his small voice pulled her away from that strange place where dream and memory tangled together like old lovers.

"I'm here," she reached for him in the dark, wrapping his small body close to her. "It's okay." She shooshed him.

"Thunder," he said. He lifted tiny fingers to twirl a piece of her hair, a habit he had picked up while nursing as an infant. He was only eighteen months and already his vocabulary far surpassed most of the other children in his age group.

"It's just the wind," she whispered.

His fingers wound through her hair in the shadows as the heavy rain drummed like pellets against the canvas roof above them. Part of her felt like it had been stupid going to President Baltar for help. The majority of New Caprica's citizens were growing more and more displeased with his lackadaisical attitude, and there seemed to be no end in sight to the endless food and labor crisis. The thing she noticed, however, was that in the face of adversity, the person who seemed to be suffering the least was President Baltar and those he kept close at hand.

It had been a huge risk seeking his help. During the time she had worked as his administrative assistant at the Colonial Ministry of Defense he had met her husband. Rumors had circulated the fleet after the incident with the cylon aboard the Gemenon Traveler that Dr. Baltar himself began extensive work on a cylon detection device. And then her model was exposed, the Number Six aboard the Battlestar Pegasus and the fliers circulated all the ships in the fleet. Kendra recognized her right away, Dr. Baltar's assistant on Caprica, the intensely beautiful woman he spent all of his time hiding away in the office with.

One secret to secure another. If she knew anything about Dr. Baltar after all of that time she'd spent working with him, it was that he prized his own skin above all others, and if she angled in on him with his own secret, perhaps it could work out to her advantage.

She felt a tickle in the back of her throat and cleared it away with a soft cough. It was the first sign of sickness, she knew it all too well, but she wasn't going to let it knock her down. She started work in the morning for the President of the Colonies and he would see that she had medicine if she needed it. As the icy wind cut through the thin canvas walls of the tent, she hugged her baby closer to keep him warm. Perhaps it would be prudent to talk to the President about her living quarters as well. After all, a canvas tent barely able to keep out the cold was hardly a place for her little boy to grow up.


	3. Chapter 3

"Really, it's only fitting that you and your son take one of the compartments nearby our offices, that way you're always close at hand in case I need you to take a letter," Gaius Baltar stood in the doorway of the small compartment, his grin expressing a great deal of self-satisfaction. "Mr. Gaeta's quarters are just across this hallway and of course, you know where I can be found if you need anything at all0."

Kendra pursed her lips together in an act to suppress the emotions she wore. "Doctor Baltar," she started, "I'm sorry, President Baltar…"

"We're old friends, Kendra," he insisted, "Please, call me Gaius."

"Gaius," she looked away almost nervously, her thoughts shifting to the good Doctor's once flirtatious nature. Though she'd never been quite sure about the advances and propositions he'd made while she served under her old position with the Ministry of Defense, she'd been pretty sure his playful suggestions were no laughing matter. Obviously nothing about him had changed, and while she was glad to know she could count on his help, she wasn't sure how far she was willing to go to ensure it. "This really isn't necessary," she insisted, shifting Ares to her other hip. "There are so many others out there…"

"Nonsense," he waved her off. "I won't hear another word about it. I realize things out there aren't the most comfortable at present," he admitted. For a moment his gaze lingered over her shoulder, out the window at the bleak world beyond the glass. "But you've got a small child to be concerned with. The last thing we want is for either of you to become ill."

She nodded, "Of course not."

"I expect you to begin moving in immediately," he told her before backing out the door. "And if you need anything," he looked back at her, "anything at all, please don't hesitate."

Tamlyn stood in the doorway four hours later shaking her head and pursing her lips. "If I didn't know any better…"

"Bite your tongue," Kendra turned a playful glare over her shoulder before dropping the last box of her belongings onto the floor. "The only reason I even agreed to this place was because of Ares," she said. "After that storm the other night, I thought for sure he was going to come down with pneumonia."

Closing the door behind her, Tamlyn came up and laid her hand on Kendra's shoulder, "I know, kiddo. Don't beat yourself up. I was just teasing."

"No you weren't," Kendra laughed. "Don't think I don't recognize the envy. I saw it in every pair of eyes I passed on the streets while we were moving things over here."

"What did you expect?" Both of them were distracted momentarily by the sound of Ares jabbering behind them, and Tamlyn spun around to pick him up.

The two women had become fast friends after Kendra had been transferred from the Gemenon Traveler to the Persephone, inseparable and bonded by all that they had both lost. Tamlyn was almost ten years older than Kendra, and had taken on an almost sisterly role that made Kendra feel comfortable and glad. She had lost her own husband, Roger. The two of them were separated onto different ships after the attack on the colonies and Roger's ship was lost during a jump. Tamlyn had been there to help her through labor and had done so much for Ares since his birth that Kendra couldn't imagine how she could have managed without her.

"I don't know," Kendra shook her head. "I just wish there was something I could do, get the housing project moving a little more quickly, materialize the supplies we need…"

"You're not a magician."

"No, but they have every right to give me the evil eye. While they spend night after night in those tents, here I'll be warm and dry… no longer having to explain the difference between the wind and thunder to my son."

Tamlyn walked Ares over to the bed in the corner of the room and sat down on the edge. "Things will get better, and not just for you, but for all of us. Ares will grow up in a world where he can play outdoors, enjoy the light of a sun, feel the wind on his face."

"I know," Kendra smiled. "It's not Caprica, but at least we're not cooped up on those ships anymore. What kind of life is that for a little boy?'

"No kind of life at all."

"I know we can never have that back, but I wish we were still on Caprica," she said. "There was this lake we used to have picnics there. It's where he proposed to me, where he gave me the tickets for our trip the day he was killed."

"Ken…"

"I try not to think about him, but sometimes… and tomorrow it'll be two years since he died."

"Awe, honey," Ares crawled out of Tamlyn's lap to play with a stuffed bear that had fallen onto the bed. Tamlyn stood up and walked over to put her arms around her friend. "I am so sorry."

Kendra shook her head and blinked several times to fight off the tears that threatened to fall. "I'll be fine," she said.

"Once you get into a routine, back to work, out into the world of politics… maybe you'll meet someone," Tamlyn drew away to lean her forehead against Kendra's. "It couldn't hurt getting involved with a politician. I've heard that the President himself is quite the lady's man. Maybe you could become the first lady."

"Bite your tongue!"

"Well, what about, the Vice President? He's not so hard on the eyes."

"Zarek? Ew, he's all yours."

"What about that young advisor? He looks to be about your age?"

"Felix Gaeta?"

"I think that's his name."

Kendra shook her head, "He's not really my type. Now stop already. I have to work with these people. The last thing I want is to go into work and start evaluating every man that comes through the office as some future and potential mate."

Tamlyn laughed as she drew out of her friend's embrace, "All right, all right, but you're still young, you know, and there are a lot of men who do like children."

"Enough!" Kendra laughed. "You're terrible."

And even though the last thing Kendra wanted to even think about was dating in the workplace, Tamlyn's teasing had nudged her mind just enough to make her wonder every time someone new entered into the office the next morning. She caught herself fantasizing about Galen Tyrol when he stopped by President Baltar's office with a stack of fresh demands from the labor union. She knew that Tyrol was married and he hand his wife were expecting their first baby, but it didn't stop her from wondering. Then there was the hotshot, former C-Bucs Pyramid star, Samuel Anders. Rumor had it he had just gotten married to a viper pilot from the Galactica, but it didn't change the fact that he was gorgeous. In fact, she could almost hear Tamlyn cackling that it didn't matter if they were married if all you were doing was looking.

To make matters ever worse, it wasn't long before she realized she was the only woman in the entire office.

"Ms. Warfield," Gaius leaned out of his office. "Could you come in here please and take record of our meeting?"

"Of course, sir," she picked up her steno pad and pen and headed into his office.

Felix Gaeta was seated on the lefthand side of Baltar's desk and Vice President Tom Zarek was seated on the right. Gaius gestured toward a chair in the middle of the two and Kendra too her chair.

"The bloody Labor Union," Gaius said once noting the ready position of her pen. "The concerns have been brought to my attention…" he began, "Again and again and again."

"President Baltar, I don't think that what the union is asking for is all that difficult to produce. I mean, if we are to make and honest to gods go of life here on New Caprica, we need to start leaning to permanence."

"I agree with Mr. Gaeta," Tom Zarek noted. "The current disharmony among the people is rattling our societal cage, and we promised to be a government for the people."

"Even just focusing on materials, for instance," Gaeta went on. "If we lean our focus on providing material for housing, just think of the jobs it could provide."

"You know as well as I do that before we can process the materials needed for housing, we must focus on putting together a reliable industrial infrastructure, Mr. Gaeta?" Gaius said. "The union cannot be relied on if they shut down all operations every time someone comes down with a hang nail."

Felix closed his eyes and resumed his seat, a heavy sigh falling from his lips. "All I am suggesting is that we at least consider setting up a lumberyard in the northern tier. We could kill two birds with one stone by providing hundreds of jobs for those out of work and showing the people that this administration is doing everything in its power to address the housing situation."

Zarek nodded, "He has a point, Gaius."

"Alright then," Gaius gave in. "Felix, I want you to meet with Galen Tyrol tomorrow and begin negotiations on setting up a lumber yard in the northern tier. In the meantime, Tom, call together a quorum meeting and we'll get all of the paperwork in motion."

"Sounds good to me," Zarek stretched to stand. "I'll make the announcement now and let you know what time we're meeting tomorrow."

Felix stood as well, "And I'll make arrangements to sit down with Galen tomorrow."

"Good show, everyone."

Kendra finished the minutes of the meeting and flipped her steno-book closed. "Please let me know if there's anything I can do to help either of you." She said.

Tom Zarek's gaze was unusually charming, "I'm sure I'll be at your desk first thing tomorrow with a stack of notes."

"I'll be happy to put them in order for you, Mr. Vice President."

"Call me Tom, please."

"Tom."

"I will be forever in your debt," he offered a final smile before exiting the office with Felix Gaeta right behind him.

"Is there anything else I can do for you before I finish my shift, sir?"

Gaius stood up with Felix and Tom and stood now with his arms crossed over his chest, his gaze curious and playful. "You've been so incredibly helpful these last few days," he noted. "Gods only know how we ever survived without your eye for detail and knack for organization."

"I'm glad to be of use again. All those months on the Persephone I started to wonder if I would ever know the value of hard work again."

"The days and nights have been incredibly long since…" Gaius lowered his gaze, his brow wrinkled heavily with the stress of untold worries. "For months on end it seemed as though we'd never again experience a sense of normalcy in our lives and that's what I've done here. I've given the chance for freedom back to humanity, but then it comes over me like a wave that all of this… it's so mundane and meaningless."

Kendra turned her head curiously, curious about the despondent tone of his voice. "I'm afraid I don't understand, sir."

"This," he lifted his hands up to identify their surroundings, "building this city from the bottom up, the petty labor squabbles and the never ending complaints about the quality of life here. Fresh air, Kendra. Fresh air and daylight…"

"My husband once said that it was an inherent flaw of humanity to reach beyond what God had already given them," she was surprised at the low murmur of her own voice and how easily his quote came back to her.

"Did you…" Gaius dark eyes softened with curiosity. "When did you discover what he was, Kendra?"

"I still don't know what he really was," she said softly. "I can still see that day so clearly, the sunlight glinting off of the lake, the chill in the air. It was the perfect prequel to summer, the kind of day you come home from and as you're stripping away your clothing you can smell the freshness of the air in your hair and on your skin… I can still see his blood on my hands, Gaius. I still hear him telling me how sorry he was, and then he was gone. His blood," she shook her head. "How was I supposed to know?"

He could only shake his head in reply. After a long silence, Gaius walked around the desk and lifted her chin so she had no choice but to meet his gaze. "Have dinner with me."

She started to shake her head no before the word formed on her lips. "I shouldn't."

"It's only dinner."

"You're my boss," she reminded him. "You're the President of the Twelve Colonies."

"None of that fraking matters, Kendra," there was a serious edge to his voice unlike any she had ever heard from him. "We understand each other, Kendra. There is not another human being alive who could possibly understand what I've been through."

"My son is expecting me home."

"Then let me bring dinner to you," he edged even closer, drawing attention to the already tight space they occupied together. "You have no idea how long I've waited for someone I could talk to. Surely," he paused for a moment, "surely you have been weighted down with the burden of your own past."

She was dangerously close to tears, and the fact that it was Gaius Baltar before her propositioning to share secrets didn't seem to matter. Just the notion that she could share that secret with someone, that she could talk about her past at all, was enough persuasion.

"Only dinner," there was a touch of uncertainty in her query.

"Absolutely," his eager nod should have been answer enough.

"I look forward to it then."

"Fantastic," he withdrew, allowing her room to release the breath she hadn't even realized she'd been holding onto. "You run along home then, and I will drop by in about an hour or so with dinner."

As she gathered her belongings from her desk and filed away the day's paperwork, she realized she had no desire to share this strange dinner with Tamlyn, not yet. Explaining the strange connection she and Doctor Baltar shared could prove awkward, in fact, the two of them discussing their past at all could be fatal. The short walk home was lengthened by a nervous sense of deception and her mind scheming for the quickest way to get rid of Tamlyn before Gaius Baltar arrived for dinner.


	4. Chapter 4

When Kendra emerged from the curtained of section she'd set up to give her son privacy while he slept, Gaius was pouring them both another glass of wine. "I don't know if I should be having another glass of wine," she chuckled and slid back into her chair. "In all honesty, it'll probably go straight to my head."

"Well then, it won't be so difficult for me to seduce you then," Gaius' face barely twitched beyond a clever, flirtatious smile.

"Gaius, you said this was only dinner," she reminded him, reaching for the glass and drawing it back to her lips.

"That was before I saw you with your son," he said. "Motherhood becomes you, Kendra."

She felt her face flush with warmth as she looked away from him. "Gauis."

"What?" his casual laugh ignited a small spark inside her.

There was no denying that he was an incredibly attractive man, and his remarkable intelligence only added to the appeal. She had fantasized about him often in the days she worked under him at the Ministry of Defense, before she'd met Leoben. Of course, he had hardly noticed her at all until after she was married, and then he flirted with her like a fiend.

"You can't blame a man for his honesty," he added. "The truth is, Kendra, I'm incredibly lonely. Having you near these last few days has reminded me of all I lost."

"I find that hard to believe," she held the glass in mid-lift. "The famous Gaius Baltar, President of the Twelve Colonies, most brilliant scientist in the universe... I'm sure you have dozens of women hammering down your doors."

"Well," he shrugged his left shoulder slightly upward. "I won't lie. Several women proposition me daily, and I am never one to turn down free affection," he grinned.

"Of course not," Kendra gave a soft snort of laughter.

"But this," he gestured between them. "This is about more than just affection, Kendra."

"Please, Gaius, if you so much as even mention the word love, I swear I'll be sick right on the table."

The laugh that followed was nervous, "Love, no," he reached for the decanter and poured himself another glass of wine. "I'm not talking about love. I'm talking about truth," he said. "Estrangement from humanity because of that truth… surely you understand perfectly well what I am referring to. Your past, your child..."

The smile faded quickly from her face, "I should not have brought him up this afternoon," she said.

"And in what other company could you have spoken so freely about him? Come now, Kendra. You obviously still think of him. How could you not? You carry a living reminder of him around on your hip day in and day out. Clearly you must understand what our past experiences mean to each other."

"But it isn't right," frustration added an edge to her tone that she wasn't expecting. The sound of her own voice made her feel weak and strange. In a hush, she said, "Thinking about him at all, doesn't that make me a traitor to my own people after what the cylons did to us…"

"Not all cylons, Kendra, not everything is so black and white as you might think. On Caprica…" he stopped himself for a moment, his eyes wide at the prospective horror of revealing a truth he'd only shared with the ghost in his head. "On Caprica, the day of the attack on the Twelve Colonies, the woman… the cylon I believed to be my companion," he swallowed several gulps of wine and lowered his glass to the table, "she shielded me from the shockwaves with her own body after the explosion."

Kendra watches his facial expression shift in length, a sense of desperation and regret haunted the dark eyes hidden behind the black frames of his glasses. "I'm so sorry, Gaius."

Gaius shook his head, "Not half as sorry as I am. You know, the worst part about it is I can't even remember her name. Two years," he tossed back what little wine remained in his glass. "Two years we worked together side by side, had dinners, made love together… She saved my life and I can't even remember her name."

"Because what is a name, Gaius, but an identity and admission of meaning? I meant nothing to you," The Six in his head stood behind Kendra, arms crossed and eyes lit between sarcasm and amusement. "After everything I did for you…"

"I loved her," he insisted, looking into Six's eyes and holding fast to her gaze while he went on. "That's all I know about her now, is that I loved her, and she died for me."

"Natasi," Kendra looked down at her fingers coiled around the glass. The red liquid inside reflected the light and cast a glow over her skin. "Her name was Natasi."

"Natasi," he remarked. "Yes, that was it. How did you…"

Shaking her head, "I remember everything. Every second of time from those final days. I can still hear things he said to me, promises he made."

"Then you do still care for him," Gaius noted softly. "What if he died for you, Kendra, just like Natasi died for me?" He leaned forward across the table and touched the top of her hand, the refracted red glow from the wine shimmering across his skin.

Kendra trembled.

"What if the bullet he took that day was meant for you, but he stepped in front of it and saved your life?"

"Would it even matter?" His hands were soft, fingernails meticulously groomed. The uncalloused skin of a man who had obviously never worked with his hands, she wondered what those hands might feel like on her skin. "In the end, he was still a toaster."

Six sneered. "That so-called toaster was good enough for her then and you can guarantee that if the cylons were to discover your little hideaway tomorrow or next week, she would run back to him, Gaius. Just as you would come looking for me."

Gaius lifted his eyes to meet with Kendra's. "Can you honestly say that you would turn away from him if he were to show up here tomorrow?"

"It wouldn't be him," she said. "Maybe they all look alike, but it wouldn't be him. The man I loved is dead."

"But they download," he said, "into new bodies. The same consciousness, same memories…"

"I spoke to him on the Gemenon," she said. "He didn't know me. He only said that I should never tell anyone who my husband was or who had fathered my child."

"And right he was," Gaius squeezed her fingers. "But your secret," he looked toward the curtained section of the small living quarters he'd assigned to her. "Your secret is safe with me, and your son too, Kendra. He is a miracle."

His admission inspired a nervous laugh from her. She brought her other hand down over top of his, "I know I shouldn't trust you, Gaius," she said. "Everything inside of me knows what kind of man you are, but right now I feel as though you are the only person left in the entire universe that could possibly understand what I've been going through. It's like…"

She veiled her eyes from his by lowering her head. The flaxen curtain of her hair fell into her face and nestled in just above her mouth. Gaius watched her draw her lower lip in between her teeth, the skin passing slowly through the torment of self-inflicted pain.

"I don't know," she shook her head. "It's like he left his mark on me, left part of himself behind in me. I know I said I didn't think of him often, but that was a lie."

"Of course it was," Gaius turned his palm upward and closed his fingers around hers. "To admit that you still see him everywhere you look would be admitting that you loved the enemy." He looked past Kendra and into Six's face. "But he was only the enemy because that is what they taught us to believe."

"Don't you see, he was using me, Gaius," she whispered. "Just like she was using you. We were easy targets. We helped them get into things and places that made the destruction of our home and planetary system simpler."

"Perhaps it started that way," he leaned across the small table between them, lifted one of his hands to brush a lock of hair from her face. He tucked it behind her ear and looked into her eyes. They were the blue of a Caprican sky, her eyes, and equally unpredictable. For a moment he let himself get lost in them. "But why did she die for me if there wasn't something else there?"

"I don't know," she whispered. Kendra lifted her hand and closed her fingers around his wrist. "None of it matters anyway."

"No," he breathed that word softly. "I suppose it doesn't, but what will you tell your son?"

She tried to divert her eyes from the intensity of his stare, but it was impossible to look away, to tear her cheek from the smooth palm of his hand. "That his father was a brave and noble man, even if it is a lie."

It had been a very long time since she'd been intimate with a man, since those final days on Caprica with Leoben, but the burning dreams she had of him nightly made it seem as though he had never left her at all.

Kendra studied Gaius, gauged the short distance between them and tried to imagine herself saying no to whatever advances she knew would follow. It was impossible to imagine, she realized, already nuzzling her face into the span of his open palm.

"I meant what I said, Kendra," he murmured, his stretching fingers curling into her hair. "Motherhood becomes you. In fact," he looked toward the small bed in the corner of the room, "I haven't felt this attracted to a woman in a very long time."

The serious matters of the moment quickly faded in the wake of his propositional confession. Kendra smoothed her lips over the skin on his wrist, creating a ripple effect of gooseflesh across his pale flesh. "I already know you say that to all the girls, Gaius," the gaze she lifted toward him was dangerous, devil-may-care. Just the way he liked them.

Gaius quickly closed the space between them and covered her mouth with his. His kiss was well-practiced, that was the first thing she noted. Intense and powerful, it was as though he had worked very hard to make sure in his role as lover he would always be taken seriously.

She tried to draw away, but he held her near, his hand on the back of her neck. "I don't want this to complicate our situation."

"What do you mean?"

"I need this job, Gaius, and I can't afford for things between us to get weird."

"You're the best secretary I've ever known," he said. "I can't afford for things to get weird either."

"No strings attached."

"No," he agreed. "No strings at all."

Before she could say another word he stole into her kiss and she let go of her fears and inhibitions. It had been a long time since she'd physically felt the touch of a man. Since he'd died she had nothing but the dreams, vivid memories mostly, but just as often there were strange new scenarios as well. Just the two of them. Another world, another time, she didn't know, but she often dreaded waking from the dreams when they felt so real.

And Gaius' touch was equally inspiring. Eyes closed in the darkened room it was easy to pretend he was someone else, someone she had once loved—even though everything inside of her told her it was wrong to go on loving him. She imagined opening her eyes to find him above her, his intense eyes staring down into hers. He had always loved looking into her eyes while they made love.

_"It's like looking into a mirror and seeing my own soul staring back at me."_

Only she didn't open her eyes again until it was over and Gaius lay beside her in the dark. He didn't need to know she hadn't really been there with him. There was no sense in hurting his pride, and for all she knew he had done the same thing. Closed his eyes and dreamed he was making love to a fraking cylon…

"It used to make me jealous, Gaius," the Six in his head lounged in the chair, one hand circled around the wine glass he'd left on the table. "Watching you with other women, the way you kissed them, looked down into their eyes while you make love to them, but no matter who she is, it's my face you see, isn't it?"

In the silent darkness Kendra waited for him to make excuses and explanations about how he had to leave, to get up early in the morning, but when she rolled over onto her shoulder to look at him, he offered a thoughtful smile and reached up to touch her face.

"You know, I was just thinking," he said. "There is very little left in all this fraked up mess of a universe that reminds of Caprica. I left it all behind in such a hurry after the attacks that I scarcely even recall what it looked like, but being with you just now… I'm not sure why, but it reminded me of home."

"Home is where the heart is, or so they say," Six said.

Kendra buried her laughter into his shoulder, the loose locks of her hair falling down over his bare skin in teasing pulses. "There's something to be said for that, I suppose."

"I don't think I realized just how much I missed it," he lamented. "The simplicity of it all. The community, the respect, my work… Turned out to be meaningless, all of it before the end, but it was a simpler time."

"Yes," the nostalgia crept up on her, strangled her senses and though the last thing she wanted was to break down and cry with Gaius Baltar in her bed, she had to bite down on the insides of her lips to keep from becoming overwhelmed. "It's amazing how quickly the rug can be pulled out from under you."

Gaius didn't look at her, his gaze seemingly beyond even the space and time of her small room. "How just when you think you've lost it all, you find something, a small shred you think you'll be able to cherish and hold onto, but then that too is taken away and you're left standing there naked and exposed in the cold, abysmal darkness of your own defeat."

"She's already slept with you, Gaius," Six pointed out. "What is the point in trying to win her over with your intelligence."

"It's lonely," he went on. "It never occurred to me until now just how lonely it is here, how it was on the ships. All of us just strangers forced together, all of us victims of the same circumstances. But you're different, you realize."

Kendra laughed again, "And what's so different about me?"

"You're not a stranger," he returned his eyes to scan the shadowy profile of her face. "You're like a small piece of the world we left behind us."

"You're not getting sentimental on me, are you, Gaius?"

A wan smiled stretched slowly across his lips, "Perhaps just a little." He lifted his arm across her shoulders and drew her closer. "But don't worry," he kissed the top of her head thoughtfully. "I won't let it go to my head."

"Or complicate anything," she laid her head down on his shoulder and closed her eyes.

He lowered his hand to rest upon her hip and half-sighed, half-laughed. "Or allow it to complicate anything."


	5. Chapter 5

_At night the lights from the twenty-four hour video outlet across the street lit their bedroom like a carnival. On the rare occasion that he was actually home with her at night, she curled up on her side and watched the flashing lights make shadows across his face. She had never known anyone like him, and the love she felt for him was so intense sometimes that it felt unreal. But then that was how love really should be, after all. All of the fairy tales she'd been told as a girl portrayed love like it was some kind of dream. That was Leoben._

_They had met in her office, of all places. He had quickly flashed a badge at her and explained that he worked for Colonial Civil Intelligence. He'd been sent to secure the area after receiving reports of terrorist activity near the Ministry. She went about her business the best she could as he poked around her office for over an hour, checking for bugs and bombs._

_"You certainly don't get lonely working here," he noted as the reconnected phone rang once again._

_"Working at the Ministry of Defense makes you very popular," she laughed and lifted the phone to her ear. "Colonial Ministry of Defense, how may I direct your call? I'm sorry, Doctor Amorak left the office for the day. Is there something I can help you with, or would you like me to direct you to voice mail?" _

_Leoben gestured toward the door to indicate that he was leaving. He turned around before disappearing through the doorway to find Kendra watching after him. He offered a smile and waved before disappearing into the hallway. She ran into him again as she was leaving that evening, juggling a stack of take-home files, her purse and an umbrella as she prepared to step out into the pouring rain._

_"Here, let me help you with that," he took the umbrella from her._

_"Thank you," she resituated the files and shrugged the strap of her bag further up her shoulder. "I thought for sure all these files were going to end up in a puddle."_

_"We can't have that," he laughed. _

_There was something about the blue of his suit that made the grey of his eyes sing, and his smile was one of the most genuine she had seen all day. The two of them were standing just outside Dr. Amorak's office, and when he came out dressed in the stuffiest suit Kendra had ever seen, he looked over the two of them and sneered as though they were lower life forms unworthy of his company._

_"You'll have to excuse him," she watched the man hurry down the hallway. "He refuses to associate socially with anyone with an IQ less than 180 unless said associates are supermodels."_

_"Then why does he ignore you?" Despite his question, he seemed a little bit shy at first. "Or have you already turned him down, and so now he ignores you out of shame for his own inadequacy?"_

_Kendra felt her face grow warm in reaction to his flirtation, and then she started to laugh. It was a nervous, almost uncontrollable laughter, and the sound of it broadened his grin._

_"My name is Leoben," he started to extend his hand, but then drew back as he remembered the fullness of her arms. "Would you like to have dinner with me?" _

_"I'm Kendra," anxiety cracked her laughter, which only seemed to encourage his grin._

_"Kendra," even the way he said her name was incredible. "Magical child of the water." _

_"Well, I wouldn't say magical."_

_His eyes were so intense that could scarcely keep looking into them. His smile grew curiously as he leaned back to look her over, "I imagine you are quite magical, even if you don't know it yet yourself. I can show you," he said. "Have dinner with me tomorrow night."_

_Instinct had almost driven her to say no, but before she could even wrangle with her own thoughts, her mouth opened in agreement. "I'd love to have dinner with you." _

_"Wonderful." _

_She had actually fretted on the way home that maybe she sounded too eager, that he would think she was desperate, but then he sent flowers to her the next afternoon at work, and arrived to pick her up looking almost as nervous as she felt. By the time they were seated for dinner, and after they ordered, something switched on somewhere that alleviated some of the tension. By the time the appetizer arrived they were talking like old friends, and when he called for the check Kendra felt sorry that dinner was over already. _

_It was a clear night, and he asked her to walk with him. Grateful to be granted more time in his company, she accepted. Caprica City was alive with wonder and excitement, crowds bustling here and there, but as they walked and Leoben held her hand, it was if no one else on Caprica, or anywherhe else in the Twelve Colonies for that matter, existed. It was late when they finally arrived at her apartment, Kendra's heart heavy that their night had to end._

_"Would you…" she bit down on her lower lip to stop herself from asking, even though everything in her heart compelled her to. She was not that type of woman and never had been, but something about him, about the two of them together felt so different._

_Leoben drew her by her wrist into him and lowered his lips to hers. She opened her mouth against his, and as he kissed her it felt as though he had breathed new life into her. His hand rested against her cheek and when he drew back his eyes shone softly in the streetlight behind him. All fear melted away and without another word, she led him up to her apartment where they made love for the very first time._

_In the carnival afterglow from the lights across the street, Kendra lay nestled in the crook of his arm, her face pillowed on his shoulder. He traced patterns upon the naked skin of her back with a gentle fingertip, and when he drew in a deep breath the skeptical part of her that didn't believe she deserved a fairy tale expected him to tell her that it was time for him to go._

_"Have you ever felt close to someone just moments after meeting them, like you've known them before, in another life or another time?" She shuddered as his soft fingertip trailed the length of her spine, from base to neck. _

_She had never felt that close to anyone because she'd never let her guard down far enough to let anyone in, but with Leoben, it had been too easy. She had already broken every rule in her personal code of conduct, why not allow herself to experience the euphoric de-ja-vu of love at first touch?_

_"This is going to sound stupid. . ." she started._

_"Nothing you could say to me right now could sound stupid," his fingertip stopped and the flat span of his palm opened against the small of her back. _

_"I want to believe that what I feel right now isn't crazy, but it is like I have known you before, before and always."_

_He lowered his lips against her forehead and whispered, "It isn't crazy to let yourself know love, Kendra. It is the will of God for all His children to embody the very essence of love itself."_

_Four months later they were married. _

_As she watched the lights play against the shadows of his face, she reached out to touch his lips with her fingertip, but stopped short, not wanting to wake him. She withdrew her arm just as he announced, "You should be sleeping." He didn't open his eyes, but stretched the muscles in his jaw as he yawned. _

_Kendra lowered her hand onto his, which lay folded over his chest. "You were so peaceful," she said. "Just watching you sleep…" She pinched her lips together and closed her eyes. "Sometimes I just want to savor every moment we have. Like a part of me knows that this is all too good to be true and that one day I'll have to live without you." _

_He unclasped his hands and stretched and maneuvered within the sheets until she was firmly wrapped in his arms. "As long as we both live, you will never have to be without me. You are my destiny, Kendra." _

_"And what if one of us dies before the other?" _

_"Never happen," he shook his head._

_"It could happen." _

_"Never," he insisted. "We'll die together."_

_She laughed, "You make it sound so simple."_

_"It is simple," he leaned up into her kiss. "We'll die together. Wait and see."_

She was dreaming, dreaming of the past, when he was still alive with her. His promises of forever and mutterings of destiny. She had believed in him, and wanted everything he promised to be true. But in the end, it wasn't true. He hadn't died with her, he had died in her arms, frightened eyes staring up into her face, apologetic, yet terrified. "Kendra," her name was a ragged whisper on his bloodied lips. "I'm sorry…"

"Kendra," only it was not Leoben's voice that pried her from the cruel clutches of nightmare. "Kendra, I'm so sorry, but I've got to go. I'm supposed to meet with the Quorum early and I've…"

Gaius sat on the edge of her bed, already dressed. His hand lay gently over her shoulder. They'd been sleeping together almost nightly for more than a month, and every night he sneaked out mid-morning for fear of being caught leaving his secretary's quarters.

He had made quite a mess of everything in the last couple weeks. The pressure of everyone coming at him from all sides combined with the notion that he was responsible for solving every single problem that came at him from all sides. A recent water contamination had left 1/3 of the workforce bedridden for almost a week, and Chief Tyrol was battering down the doors of the Presidential office night and day looking for relief, or at least some kind of insurance that the people's needs were being taken into consideration. That the government was not simply catering to the satisfaction of its own needs, but making the people its number one priority.

Most nights he was distracted enough by all of the pressure to keep her up late into the early morning hours rehashing every detail until it was limp as pulp.

"Just go, Gaius." She stretched out of his reach, rolling her back toward him. She didn't want him to see the tears that had moistened her eyes as a result of the same nightmare that haunted her night after night. The last thing she wanted was for him to think she was crying over him.

He was silent for a moment and then he reached out for her again, "It isn't personal."

"I know."

"I mean it's not like I'm running away from you, personally. It's just that I've got a lot of things that need to be taken care of. Important matters…"

"It's fine, Gaius, just go."

"If you're sure then," he withdrew his hand, his weight lifting off the mattress with a subtle bounce. His shadow hovered over her for a moment, the length of his hair tickled her cheek just before he kissed her there. "Sleep late if you like. You deserve a morning off."

"I'll be there at 0800," she assured him, stretching into deeper warmth of the blankets. "Just like I always am."

"I don't deserve you, you know," he noted on his way toward the door.

"No," she whispered as it closed behind him. "You don't."

In fact, a great part of her was sure that the only reason he was still making nightly visits to her had more to do with the secrets they shared about each other than any real sense of loyalty. Not that it mattered to her. They had agreed in the beginning, no strings, and she didn't want that kind of life with a man like Gaius Baltar anyway. Perpetually unsatisfied by the charms of one woman alone, he was always filling the emptiness in his soul with woman after woman. Kendra wanted more than that. She hated to even think it aloud, knowing what she knew about his true nature, but more than anything else in the universe, she wanted Leoben. To be with him again, spend endless hours listening to him talk about the things that mattered, about how no matter what happened, they would always be together until the day they died.

Hot tears slipped over the bridge of her nose, dripped onto the pillow, and though try as she might to bury sound of her own sobs, sometimes they overwhelmed her. In the small crib curtained off at the end of her bed, her little one stirred, and the sound of her sobs upset him. By the time she arrived at the edge of his crib he was crying. She crawled back into bed, laying him down beside her and soothing him with a lullaby until he was asleep again.

In the dim light from the hallway outside her compartment, she studied the shadows that fell across his profile. Even so young, all she could see in him was Leoben. He had his father's eyes, the shape of his mouth. One day he would be tall like his father, towering over her the way Leoben once did. She could already see it in the length of his toddling legs. But what else could she expect from his future? She tried to deny it, but knew inherently that it was true. His father was a cylon. A machine. What did that make him?

Rolling onto her back, she stared into the darkness until the minutes bled into hours, and the hours no longer felt like time at all. All of her fears and worries unchecked, it felt impossible to loosen her senses enough to fall asleep again, but eventually unconsciousness stole over her like a drug, and she was grateful that she didn't even dream.


	6. Chapter 6

Maybe she didn't dream that particular night, but most nights she did dream. Strange, twisted flashes of imagery. Always an army of him. Hundreds of men with his face, his eyes, his same terrible taste in flashy, button-down shirts… The latter part should have been enough to make her laugh upon reflection, but all of them spoke at once and the chaos of his voices echoed like jagged shards of paranoid prophecy.

The words all jumbled together, one or two leaping out here or there. "Stream," and "Endurance," were two she recalled, and one solid phrase, "Everything that's real." The word God stood out the from time to time, but what any of it meant, she had no idea. She'd never been much of a philosopher, and before she'd met Leoben, dreams had been just dreams. Passing fragments of sensation during sleep, images with no meaning, sometimes colorless with no sound.

_"But that's where you're wrong," his arm around her, he leaned out to look down at her. The intensity of his eyes were her first cue that she had excited him yet again with another opportunity to share wisdom with her. "Dreams are our connection to God and to the stream, Kendra." _

_"The stream?" _

_"There was a poet once, a great prophet who said, _'The same stream of life that runs through my veins night and day runs through the world and dances in rhythmic measures.' _ We are all connected through that stream, ever flowing through the universe."_

_"That's beautiful," she leaned into him again and he tightened his arm around her._

_"Life is beautiful," he said. "A gift that mankind all too often takes for granted." _

_"But not you," she said. "You appreciate every detail, every moment…" _

On her back in the dark, she stared into the nothing, her eyes moist—as if she had been crying. One blink herded the last of her tears over the edge of her cheek, the cold droplet like ice against her skin before puddling on the pillowcase.

"Headache?"

"Just tired," Kendra sat on the edge of her bed pulling straightening her hose. "I haven't been able to sleep all night. I wake up before dawn, crazy dreams..." she shook her head. "I'm never able to go back to sleep. I just lie there waiting for the sun to come up."

"Maybe you could go and see that oracle, have her interpret the dreams for you," Tamlyn suggested while tying Ares' bib around his neck. "I've never been to an oracle, but if you're having trouble sleeping…"

"I'm sure it's nothing."

Even though every part of her was beyond sure that whatever it was, it meant something. All she had been able to think about over the last few months was Leoben. Not that she ever stopped thinking about him, but lately it had grown stronger, and even though it was one hundred percent insane, the dreams felt like he was reaching out and trying to tell her something.

"You can say it's nothing all you want, but I've known you a long time now, Kendra and things have changed since you took that job," Tamlyn finished blowing on the hot cereal she had brought in with her and laid it down on the table for Ares to feed himself. "I worry about you, Kendra. All that time you've been spending with President La Di Fraking Da outside of the office…"

"Not now, Tam," Kendra shook her head and reached into her briefcase for the bottle of stims she was growing to feel too reliant on most mornings. "I'm going to be late."

"You wouldn't be late if you handed over your resignation," she said. "Under colonial law, you could file a civil action suit against him for sexual harassment."

"That only applies if I sleep with him out of fear of losing my job." Kendra didn't face her friend as she said those words, knowing the look they would stir.

"So you are sleeping with him."

"Does it matter?"

"Only if you're planning on making an honest man of him, Kendra. You deserve better than that…"

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe I'm the one using him?" She snapped. "Or does the fact that I'm a woman automatically default me among the weak and helpless? I don't sleep with him because I'm afraid I'll lose my job. I do it because I'm lonely."

Lonely, yes. That was the greater part of it, though Gaius Baltar's personal company was hardly fulfilling anymore. Early on, he'd called it perfectly. Thiers had been a relationship built on the past, a simple comfort in knowing that before their entire civilization had fallen apart, they had actually known each other. Unfortunately, any personal relationship that might have developed over the course of their affair was quickly averted by talk about the union and lamentation over the past. Most nights she was his sounding board, constantly lifting his ego, reminding him that he was once one of the most brilliant men alive. It was all she could put up with just to get to the fraking, which coincidentally seemed to be the only satisfying part of their relationship.

"Don't listen to your mama, Ares," Tamlyn reached over and covered the boy's ears. "She's obviously off her nut."

"You were the one who told me I needed to get out more," she barked over her shoulder. "Told me to get over the past and try to move forward."

"But you're not moving forward."

"Well," she shook her head and swallowed the last sip of coffee in her mug. "At least I'm moving."

Kendra bent down and kissed her little boy, pausing for a moment to run her fingers through the golden locks of his hair. He lifted his eyes, the same mixture of grey with flecks of green as his father, and blinked thoughtfully. "Mama bye."

"Yes, Baby, but only for a little while. Be a good boy," she kissed him again and avoided eye contact with Tamlyn as she drew away. "I should be back just after lunch hour. That second assistant he hired to deal with housing issues is working the second half of the day."

As Kendra slipped out the door, she heard her friend say, "I'm sure that's not all she'll be doing."

Kendra was sure of it herself. She knew for a fact that Gaius and the new assistant were already sleeping together. He wasted very little time going after shiny new things. He could control himself no better than a cat watching a shiny bauble rolling across the floor. The worst part was, the more she told herself that she didn't care who he slept with when he wasn't sleeping with her, the more angry she got with him for taking up so much of her time at night with his emotional breakdowns. Couldn't he unload all of his sorrows on someone else?

She lifted a half-gaze and said, "Good morning," as she passed by the Secretary of Defense. It was a rare occasion to see him in the office, as most of his work seemed to go on in the field, though whatever that work was, Kendra really wasn't sure. After running from the cylons for so long, she had forgotten there was a possibility of another enemy. She supposed there were terrorists groups brewing. The Gods be sure Gaius had made plenty of enemies all on his own since the groundbreaking ceremonies months earlier.

People were tired of calling him on the failed promises he made, and there had even been a few veiled threats of assassination in recent weeks. Gaius had been flabbergasted by the prospect, throwing up his arms in disbelief and shouting, "Assassination! Me! They want to assassinate me! And you can guarantee that not a single one of those ungrateful bastards has taken into consideration that if it wasn't for me, we'd all still be floating around in tin cans up there on searching for some mythological fraking planet that more than likely doesn't even exist."

"Regardless of what you've done to get them here, Gaius, the people still look to you for guidance, for hope that one day New Caprica will at least resemble a real civilization with an honest man's workforce and houses for people to live in." Kendra knew her breath was wasted. Trying to tell Gaius anything when he was having one of his strops was nearly impossible. He bunched up like an angry child with nothing more than his fists against a cruel world.

"There are houses," he said. "New houses go up every day."

"And they would go up a lot more quickly if the workers could get you on their side," she tried to disguise the sound of her sigh.

"I'm on there side," he puffed out his chest in defiance. "I go to bat for them every day, but I'm not a fraking miracle worker! I'm a man, for pity's sake!"

At which point it became more prudent to stroke his ego than to go on arguing with him. Argument felt too much like commitment, commitment was not on the agenda. "I know, Gaius," she slid in and lowered a hand in comfort to his shoulder. "You are doing the best you can. Why don't they see that?"

"Precisely," his eyes widened momentarily with how quickly she had stepped in to take his side. Then he smiled and lifted a hand to touch her face. "One day they will erect a statue of me in New Caprica City Square," he assured her. "The man who pried them from their tin can prisons so they could breathe fresh air again."

"Of course they will," she said. "You're a hero, Gaius."

A hero. Gaius Baltar. The concept alone sounded preposterous, but she'd never be able to tell him that. And to think she had once respected him as a scientist, had once been impressed by the fact had he had won three Magnate Prizes. He was supposed to be a genius, and yet he could scarcely handle making what seemed to her to be the simplest of decisions.

"Miss Warfield," Felix Gaeta looked up from the papers he was looking over to greet her.

"Mr. Gaeta," she nodded, and looked toward the president's private offices.

The door was already closed.

"I'm glad you're here. I was hoping you might come with me today. Gaius has entrusted me with his new proposal for the labor union."

"Of course he couldn't deliver it himself," she hoped her voice carried through the door and put a dent in his eggshell thin ego. "Probably afraid he'd get assassinated."

Felix half-grinned and rolled his eyes in subtle agreement. "Anyway, I was hoping you might come along and take notes for me. I want to make sure everything is documented so we have a future reference."

"I'd be happy to help in any way I can, Felix. Just let me grab my data pad and recorder."

"Absolutely."

As she was behind her desk, she half-expected Gaius to open his door long enough to make some inane comment, a subtle peek into what was going on behind closed doors. He didn't though, and while she walked through New Caprica beside Felix, she tried not to focus on what was really bothering her. It wasn't Gaius, but he seemed to bring out the worst of whatever it was in her. It was as if the constant reminder of the secret they shared the occasional whispers in the dark of what should never have been…

"Kendra," Felix's voice drew her from the troubled space of her thoughts. "You can stop me if I'm being too personal, but I don't understand what you see in him."

"I'm sorry?".

She drew her jacket tighter and cursed herself for not wearing slacks to work that morning. If only she'd known they were going to be walking across New Caprica. The sun was obviously up there somewhere, beaming like liquid silver through the never ending density of clouds black and grey clouds.

"I mean, obviously he's attractive, and charming. He's witty and intelligent," he went on, "but you're a smart woman. I know you can see right through all of his ploys, and yet… I just don't understand what exactly it is that you see in him when there are thousands of other men on this planet that are far more deserving of you."

"Like you?" she turned her glance sideward in such a way as to catch his expression without making direct eye contact. She was surprised by how unfazed he was by her response, his face hardly twitching behind the braided yarn sideflaps of his hat.

"No," He actually laughed a little, "not me, actually. I'm just curious. We've been working together for months and you seem an intelligent young woman."

"Well, let me ask you something, now."

"Sure, anything."

"How many people are alive today that you knew from before the attack on the Colonies?"

"Well, the crew of the Galactica," he shrugged, "that's it though. Everyone else I knew died in the attacks." The tone of his voice tapered off on those last four words. "You mean…"

"Gaius is the only person I know who survived the attacks," she said. "He knew my husband, I knew people he knew. Sometimes when the two of us are together, we talk about the people we once knew and it's like they're still with us. Even if just for a moment. As worthless as he seems sometimes, I do hope that at least one person other than me can tell my son that they knew his father."

"I'm so sorry," he said. "I guess it never occurred to me, the prior connection."

"Of course it wouldn't when we all lost so many. The very notion of such a connection is a rare occurrence. There's no need to apologize."

So many bodies were already packed into the labor union meeting that the tent's flap gaped like a stretched mouth to accommodate the continuing hordes that pushed and pressed to fit inside. The anger in their voices ground together like gravel in a cement mixer, their energy filled with rage and vengeance.

"Frak," Felix called over his shoulder. "I should have known this proposal would be too little too late. It's never going to go over"

"What do you mean?"

"The meeting has already started," he gestured toward the mob within pumping their fists into the air. "In fact, you should go back and tell Gaius we're going to have a serious problem on our hands. I'll stay here and try to calm things down." A curious older couple slipped between her and Felix and disappeared into the tent. "I should have done this myself two months ago."

"Do what you can," she touched his arm thoughtfully. "You have a way with words, Felix. Maybe you can smooth this over before it's too late."

He nodded, though the look in his eyes expressed serious doubt. Kendra backed off the tent's platform and turned back in the direction they had come. Everyone coming toward her seemed to be headed toward the labor union meeting. The pilot that was married to Sam Anders shuffled through the crowd as though she was intent on catching up with someone. Kendra turned to look back at the tent. Felix had been swallowed by the crowd, and it quickly gobbled up Sam's wife as well.

She looked over every tent she passed, thankful that despite the inconvenience of Gaius' company of late, she wasn't forced to sleep out in a tent anymore. She came up on the school tent and through the flaps she saw former president, Laura Roslin, writing words on a chalk board while three children stretched the arms into the air. The children's faces all reminded her of Ares, and for a moment she considered following Tamlyn's advice and just quitting. She wouldn't even tell Gaius. She'd just not go back to work. Head straight home and spend the afternoon with her son. They'd be back out in the cold again, for sure. Holed up in one of those tents like, huddled together like cows in a winter pasture, but even that had to be better than the madness she and Gaius recreated every time they were together.

"She ebbs closer," a voice three tents over called out. "The magical daughter of the water."

Hearing those words brought the shocking wave of nostalgia down upon her so hard that she stumbled just a little before seeking out the source of the voice. A waif of a woman dressed in robes, her head wrapped in bright, lavender cloth wavered before the doorway of the tent beckoning for Kendra with her hand.

"I've been waiting for you," the oracle called.

Kendra took a tentative step toward the oracle, catching a whiff of incense smoke from within the tent as the wind stirred. "Are you talking to me?"

"You are the one he called magical child of the water," the oracle said. "Are you not?"

"How did you…" her feet moved quickly to carry her closer, even though the apprehension tightened in her stomach like a restraint. "How did know that?"

"Will you come inside, Kendra?"

Kendra glanced back over her shoulder, toward the labor union tent that had gobbled up Felix Gaeta, Samuel Anders pretty pilot and everyone else who had entered. The tents walls swelled, bustling from within with the movement of bodies. Felix had sent her back to the office to warn Gaius… She returned her gaze to the oracle, the woman's watery blue eyes waiting for her. She smiled softly and wrapped her fingers around Kendra's wrist.

"Come inside," she tugged and Kendra's feet slipped on the gravel, one easily following the other despite her hesitation. "I have much to tell you."

Smoke swirled through the tent in multiple layers, the incense so strong that Kendra actually coughed into her shoulder and squinted her eyes against the burn. "I should… I have to get back to the offices."

"No," the oracle shook her head before she slid down onto the carpeted earth, the flow and color of her robes hypnotic and strange. "You are not needed there at this time. The Gods have sent you here to receive their message."

"The Gods?" Warily, Kendra lowered herself to her knees across from the oracle and the woman immediately reached for her hands. "What message?"

"You question the purity of the stream, though your heart already knows that it would know nothing of this stream without the guidance of that which has been named impure. Everything that is real passes through the stream, walks upon the shore while the water flows within, without. We are the stream, Kendra, connected through our dreams to the stream… to the Gods."

Chills rippled across the surface of her flesh, raising the hairs along the back of her neck. She blinked deliberately, the movement of her lids across her vision relieving the burn of the smoke, but only momentarily. Her eyes began to tear, and she wanted to blame it on the incense, but the words the woman across from her had just spoken had come too close to a cross between the dreams that had been haunting her and the thoughts that always bogged her mind down upon waking.

"Two in the same, no, many, but two is the number and the name," the oracle went on. "You will seek him out again, lost among the crowds of faces. All of them the same, but none of them are real. The one you seek is far from this place, but when the winged horse has fallen and all hope is lost, you must endure. In the chaos of battle, dust and ash, Two will become one and only then can the God of War be silenced by a father's hand."

"I don't understand—"

Kendra started to interrupt, but the oracle silenced her quickly with the words, "He comes today, but not as you know him." The woman's bony finger lifted toward the ceiling of the tent. "He comes with them all, guided by the beacon of shattered faith."

And then she heard it, could feel the ground shaking beneath her knees with the incoming power of thousands of ships. She followed the oracle's finger with her eyes, her stomach clenched with fear.

"You must endure, child of the water. The stream will lead you back to him, but only when all hope is lost."

Crowds outside the tent were already gathering in panic. Frightened voices calling out in panic, "The cylons! The cylons are coming!"

"The cylons are coming…" Kendra whispered.

Nodding her head slowly, the oracle folded her finger back into her hand. A single teardrop coursed down the curve along side the woman's nose as she said, "The cylons are here."

**Author's Note:** The poem quote referenced by Leoben in early part of this chapter came from the poem "Stream of Life" by poet, playwright, philosopher and artist Rabindranath Tagore (1861-1941).


	7. Chapter 7

Kendra ran, cursing her poor choice in shoes every step of the way. The crowded streets filled with gaping-mouthed colonists, their faces lifted toward the sky, which ran silver with thousands upon thousands of cylon raiders, transports and base ships. Their shadows clawed across the ash-like dirt before landing in the open space around the city. Part of her felt guilty as she raced past the office entrance and hiked down the stairs to her own quarters to warn Tamlyn.

Tamlyn was sitting on the floor with the baby stacking blocks into developments when she burst through the door, startling them both.

"Tam," she gasped, rushing over and quickly lifting Ares into her arms. "Listen to me. You need to stay here, do you hear me? No matter what happens outside this door, you stay in here!"

"What's wrong? What's going on?"

"The cylons," she was still catching her breath. "Thousands of cylon ships are landing all over New Caprica. You have to stay here." She pressed her lips against the warm skin of her baby's forehead and then bent over to set him back on the floor. "Don't go anywhere, don't talk to anyone if you can help it…"

"And where the hell are you going to be?"

"I have to go back up to the office to tell Gaius what's going on."

"Frak Gaius Baltar, Kendra. You're staying here with us."

"I can't do that, Tamlyn. I have to go back up there. Please, don't fight with me now, just keep my son safe."

"Of course I will, but don't you do anything stupid, do you hear me? I was not cut out to be anyone's mother, Kendra. Kendra, do you hear me?"

Kendra tried to ignore her friend's plea, avoided her eyes as she turned back over her shoulder at the door and took one last look at her son. She closed the door behind her and hiked quickly up the stairs. Her feet ached terribly, the pain pulsing from her arches all the way into the deep muscles of her calves. She hoped she had at least made it back before Felix, but stumbled into the office just in time for him to announce, "The fleet has jumped away."

From her vantage point behind Felix she could see Gaius, the new secretary and another young woman tangled together on the couch.

"Excuse me for one moment, Mr. Gaeta," Gaius' frightened gaze flashed from Felix to Kendra and then Felix stepped back to close the door.

"Did I just hear you say the fleet jumped away?" Kendra asked.

"Every last ship," Felix turned toward her, his dark eyes wide with panic. "What the frak are we supposed to do?"

"I don't know." She bit down on her lower lip, holding it tight between her teeth until Tom Zarek pushed into the office and Gaius came out looking more distraught and disheveled than she could remember ever having seen him.

He'd been looking pretty shabby lately. The stims had been doing a real number on him, and when mixed with ambrosia, he said it made him feel as dumb as everyone else around him. Now, however, was not the time to be dumb, she thought, as her rival secretary came out of the office behind him still buttoning her blouse.

"We're going to surrender," Gaius cleared his throat and took a seat behind his desk.

Tom Zarek shook his head, "Are you out of your fraking mind? Surrender to the cylons?"

"What choice do we have?" Eyes wide and brow furrowed, Gaius shook his head like a confused boy who knew he was about to lose all of his toys.

"We have to fight," Zarek insisted.

"We have to do something," Felix said.

"Without the fleet… without the military on our side, we are sitting ducks here," Gaius threw up his hands. "The union is in disarray, the people's council is out of sorts and the quorum is stuck so far up its own…"

"Someone's coming," Felix announced.

His announcement was confirmed by the sound of unified footsteps in the hallway outside. Everyone in the office moved into place behind the president's desk. Kendra stood directly behind Gaius, not that he would know she was there either way. He was in panic mode, stuck in his own fear. So was she. She suddenly regretted leaving Ares and Tamlyn alone in her quarters. She should have stayed with them.

The door slid open and one of the other identified male cylons entered. The traitor pilot from the Galactica who had shot Commander Adama so long ago was right behind him, and following her was the woman who had worked so closely with Gaius on Caprica. Well, Kendra didn't know if it was actually the same woman, but the notion that they all looked the same made it impossible to tell the difference. Everything about her was just as she remembered Natasi. The style of her hair, the seductive manner of her dress. The only difference was a compelling sadness that seemed impossible for her to hide once she saw Gaius. Natasi had been one of the happiest people… and then she put that thought in check and pushed it away.

An eternity passed in silence, the three cylons who had boarded Colonial One examined the cabinet, and the officers did the same to the cylons.

Gaius finally pushed his chair away from his desk to stand and announced, "I am Gaius Baltar, President of the Colonies."

"We know who you are," the one who looked like his old assistant said. And then Kendra knew it was her when she added, "I know very well…"

Kendra watched the woman's face, the emotion clear in every muscle's movement, every twitch of her mouth and lowering of her heavy eyelids. She was obviously in pain at just seeing the man, and when she looked past Gaius toward Kendra there was a flicker of recognition in her eyes, and then she looked away again, back into Gaius' eyes.

One of the cylons promised that as long as they didn't resist, things would go peacefully. There was no guarantee of their civility, but the male cylon said they didn't want to hurt anyone. It was hard to keep track of what was going on. Outside there were flashes of metal armor as the cylon Centurions unloaded from ships in droves and began immediately patrolling the streets. From the window Kendra noted that the people had remained calm, for the most part. They had gathered on the sides of the streets, most of them clutching their children close as the metallic forces paraded through.

Like she should have been doing. Gods, she was so stupid. If the cylons got their hands on her son, Gods only knew what they would do to him. The one she had met on the Gemenon had told her to tell no one who her husband had been because there would be a great deal of interest in her son if they found out. The last thing she wanted was for them to take him away from her. She was biting down on her lower lip again, her teeth pressing so hard that she tasted blood on her tongue.

"Very well then," she heard Gaius say. "On behalf of the people of the Twelve Colonies, I surrender."

"Excellent choice," the male cylon said. "You'll find that everything will go much easier as long as you all cooperate. Bear that in mind as we are take you all aside this afternoon for questioning. The more forthcoming you are with the information we seek, the more likely we will be to allow you to continue your positions here."

Questioning? Kendra felt the cold trickle of fear ripple down the back of her neck. What could they possibly want to question them about? What if they didn't let her go home? What if as they all stood there, cylons were raiding her quarters and taking Tamlyn and her son into custody?

"Are we under arrest then?" Tom Zarek spoke up.

She didn't want to make herself stand out, but panic prompted her to say, "I have to get home to my son."

"No," the woman she had known as Natasi shook her head. "You're not under arrest, but please don't make this any harder than it has to be. We want everyone to get home safely to their families. I'll start the questioning with you," Natasi said, pointing to Kendra. "So you can get home to your son."

Kendra didn't know whether or not she should sigh relief or not, but she nodded her head quickly and stepped forward. The woman exchanged words with her cylon colleagues, and then she gestured for Kendra to follow her out into the hallway. They walked several steps together in silence, before entering into Tom Zarek's office. The cylon took the dominant seat behind Tom Zarek's desk, and Kendra waited.

"Please, Kendra, sit down."

She swallowed, and brushed her hands under the curve of her skirt before taking a seat across from her. "You remember my name."

"I never forget a face," Natasi said.

"Neither do I, Natasi," she admitted. "I knew at once by the way you looked at him that it was you."

Her smile faded slowly, and she cast her vibrant gaze down at the desk in front of her. "I am called Caprica now," she said softly. Distracted by that name, she seemed to scan over the papers for several seconds before finally looking up again. "How did you manage to survive the attack on the colonies, if you don't mind my asking?"

"Not at all," she shook her head. "About two weeks before the attacks, my husband bought tickets for us to finally take our honeymoon. The day he gave them to me, he was shot down by terrorists."

"Your husband," her interest piqued. "He was one of us."

Kendra moved her head slowly, "That's what I've been told. His name was Leoben Conoy."

"I remember," Caprica nodded. "He was an agent for Colonial Civil Intelligence."

"He said he worked with terrorists. It was all very hush-hush. He never talked about his work."

"No," she agreed. "He wouldn't. He was a loyal sleeper until the end. He never knew he was one of us until… Well, anyway, there are just a few things I need to ask you about your work here in the office of the president and then I can let you go home for the afternoon to be with your little boy."

"For the afternoon?"

"You'll still be expected to continue your work here with us," Caprica explained. "We are looking forward to living and working side by side with humanity here. Things will be different, but it will be life as normal in no time, I assure you."

Kendra didn't know what to say, so she just nodded. "Anything I can do to help."

"Good, I knew I could count on you. Now, what can you tell me about your current military forces?"

The questioning lasted for about an hour. Most of the questions were about their military and whether or not they had any contact with the fleet that jumped away just as the cylons appeared. After telling her everything she knew, Caprica stood up and held her hand out to Kendra.

"Thank you for your cooperation," she said. "You've been very helpful. You will be expected to return to your regular duties tomorrow morning as scheduled."

"Of course," she nodded. "If there is anything else I can do to help."

"I will keep you in mind. You may go."

Kendra stood up and started for the door, but Caprica called out, "Kendra, I know I said that was all, but could I ask you just one more thing? Something off the record?"

"Of course. What is it?"

"Have you been with Gaius all along? Since after the attacks?"

"No," she shook her head. "We only reunited once we broke ground here on New Caprica. I've been working with him ever since."

"He knew your husband," Caprica said. "Do the two of you ever talk about the past?"

"Do you mean, does he ever talk about you?"

There was no way that the woman across from her wasn't human in the most obvious way. The pain in her eyes was so deep that it inspired a sense of sadness in Kendra just to see it. She nodded her head, "We talk about you and Leoben all the time," she admitted. "It was a secret we shared, something that kept us both in check from time to time."

"I see," Caprica nodded. "Thank you, Kendra. That will be all."

Kendra slipped out of the office, taking note of the two Centurion guards posted outside the office of the president. She didn't even go inside, but turned left and headed home. She only hoped that the Centurions hadn't raided her private quarters and taken Tamlyn into custody. She wouldn't be able to breathe again until she knew for sure. There were another pair of Centurions posted at the bottom of the hallway, but neither of them surged forward when she unlocked her door and pushed inside.

"Thank the Gods!" Tamlyn jumped up from the table. "It's been hours. I was worried sick."

"Where's Ares?"

"He's napping," she gestured toward the curtained off sleeping area of the compartment. "What's going on?"

"We surrendered to the cylons," she said.

"Oh my Gods," Tamlyn's hand shot up to cover her shocked mouth. "He surrendered? Why? Shouldn't we fight?"

Kendra shook her head, "The fleet jumped away. We have nothing to fight with."

"So what? We just fall down at their feet?"

"We have no choice. If we want to live, we have to do things their way."

"Their way?"

"They want to cohabitate," she explained. "Live and work together to make this place worth living in."

Tamlyn shook her head, the tawny locks of her hair jostling along her shoulders, "It'll never happen. Baltar may have surrendered, but the people never will."

"They will if they want to survive, Tam."

"Listen to yourself," she remarked. "What are you an advocate for human cylon relations now?"

"No," she hissed. "I'm looking out for my son and his future."

"Then you better teach your son how to defend himself against toasters," she stood up and grabbed her coat from the back of the chair. "Don't take this sitting down, Kendra."

"What choice do I have?"

"There is always a choice."

"If you had more to lose, maybe you could understand…"

"I have everything to lose, you are my dearest friend, Kendra. I love that baby as if he were my own…"

"Than don't fight me on this, please. Just do what they want. Don't make waves."

"I can't do that." Tamlyn drew the sleeves of her coat over her arms. "We have already lost too much to them. They killed my husband. I'm not going to give them anything else."

"Tamlyn…"

Tamlyn had already gone, and Kendra ran to the door to watch the woman hike quickly up the stairs. The two Centurions at the top of the staircase stepped into place to stop her from rushing past the interrogation, and Kendra hoped against hope that she didn't put up a fight..

She slipped back into her quarters and closed the door. Maybe she should have put up a greater fight herself, but she didn't want to think about what would happen to her son if she were to resist. He was all she had left, the only reminder of a time in her life when everything had actually made sense. He was born of what she believed to be love, and even if all of that turned out to be lies, he was still her son. She walked over to his crib and peeled the curtain back to look down at his sleeping face.

Too much had taken place for one day. She'd been given too much information by first the oracle and then the woman she had once know as Natasi. Caprica now… she had called Leoben a sleeper, said he never knew what he was until… and though she'd never finished that thought, Kendra was positive that Caprica knew she'd already said more than she should have. It was their connection though. The fact that like Gaius, Kendra had known and worked with her before the attacks. Kendra was going to do everything in her power to take advantage of that connection, and once things started to settle, she was going to follow the stream… she was going to find Leoben again.


	8. Chapter 8

The first three days after the cylons arrived were utter chaos. Some of the earliest insurgencies took place under cover of darkness, explosions in the night that shook the very ground beneath them all, but the cylons were unaffected for the most part. They simply rounded up all who openly resisted them and carted them into detention. There was nothing anyone could do, unless they wanted to risk their own freedom.

"You're late," Gaius barely looked up from the stack of papers on his desk. With his head down and his hand woven into the long locks of his hair, a cigarette burned in the ashtray in front of him.

Kendra slid into the chair across from his desk and crossed her legs, "Yes, well, do you know how hard it is to find a babysitter at the last minute?"

The stare Gaius lifted in her direction was touched with concern, his brow wrinkled and his eyes both curious and sad. They were bloodshot as well, as though he had taken a heavy hand full of stims that morning, or had at least lost several nights' worth of sleep. "Your friend Tamlyn?"

"She was taken into custody a second time last night," Shaking her head, Kendra lowered her gaze to the desk, "There's some kind of resistance movement gathering momentum, and she hopped right on the bandwagon."

"Can't you do something about her?"

"What am I supposed to do, Gaius? I asked her not to make waves…"

He shook his head, "Perhaps it's time to move on, before you find yourself guilty by association."

"She is one of my closest friends," she pinched her lips together before leaning her back into the chair behind her. "You have no idea the kinds of things we went together after the attack on the colonies…"

"Oh?" Gaius' attention lacked the type of sympathy Kendra needed, and she felt the sting of betrayal when he asked, "So, did you share all of your secrets with her? Tell her all about your own personal toaster, did you?"

"I don't know why I even bother talking to you," she admitted. "It's like you're all wrapped up in nothing but your own head. Unless it affects you, why should you care?"

"She's onto us, Gaius," the Six that seemed to exist nowhere except inside Gauis' head had become an unstoppable chatterbox since the cylons had returned. Night and day, always at him, always reminding him of his failures.

"Are you evening listening to me?"

"And she's jealous of you, Gaius. All along, she wanted to possess you, and as soon as you got bored with her, she got angry…"

"Look, Kendra," momentarily suave, Gaius leaned forward across the desk and lowered his hand over her forearm. "We both knew all along that things weren't going to work between us…"

"Us?" She withdrew her arm in disgust. "You really think that I give a damn about us, Gaius?"

"Well, I just assumed…"

"Well, you were wrong," she stood up and looked down at him. "The only thing I care about is this job and the things it can do for my son."

"Good then, we're both on the same page."

Rolling her eyes, she grabbed the stack of files off the corner of his desk, "I doubt we were ever on the same page, Gaius."

"Look, Kendra," there was a small catch in his voice, a vulnerability that made her hesitate. "You know I care about your well being. Obviously, I would have to," he said. "And I enjoy your company very much. It's just that I don't think…"

"Don't say anything else, Gaius," she shook her head. "I already know what it is."

She was surprised by the quietness of his voice, the underlying tone of concern as he asked, "Will you search for him now that they are here?"

She touched the tip of her tongue to her bottom lip and then shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know."

"I know you don't want my advice," he started, "but…"

"But you're going to give it to me anyway?"

His eyes were pleading when he said, "Don't go looking for trouble. Everything you've worked so hard to protect… that's all you should be thinking about."

She swallowed against the emotional lump that had formed in her throat. "That is all I think about," she told him. "All night long, every day… He's just a little boy, you know. He deserves more."

Gaius' mouth twitched tighter and he looked down to avoid her eyes, "I suppose you know what you're doing then."

"No, but I have to do something."

"Just be careful, Kendra."

Her lips drew into a soft, genuine smile, "You too, Gaius."

She stepped out of his office and closed the door just in time to hear his voice sound over the universal communications system that broadcast all across New Caprica. "Good morning," he cleared his throat a little before adding, "this is President Gaius Baltar. For those of you who did not receive my earlier messages, I would like to reiterate that I have taken it upon myself to surrender to the cylons on your behalf. Please do not resist this inevitable cohabitation between us. The cylons wish to coexist peacefully, and have promised to offer their services…"

"Good morning, Ms. Warfield," the cylon she had been introduced to as Aaron Doral stepped into the office. "Could I trouble you to go over some of these plans that your union organization submitted to these offices?"

"No trouble at all, sir."

He smiled pleasantly and took a seat across from her at her desk.

"Can I get you anything, sir? Coffee, tea?"

"Coffee would be wonderful."

She went about pouring them both coffee before resuming her seat and leaning across the desk to examine the blue prints for the drainage and irrigation system that had been proposed well over four months earlier.

"What can you tell me about these plans?" Doral asked.

"Not much, just that the system itself was designed by a man named Cummings," she said. "He was a civil engineer back on Caprica and was actually responsible for the designs on a number of government structures throughout the Twelve Colonies."

"How much of the actual work has already begun on putting this system into order?"

"Very little, sir." It was a shame how much actual construction had begun on New Caprica, how little the office of the President had actually done to make the people who had followed him to that gods-forsaken planet in the first place feel like their choice had been worth making.

"May I ask why?"

"The plans were never approved," she said. "Our office appealed to the People's Council as well as the Quorum and were never given the guarantee of funding that we needed to get the project under way."

"So it was about money?"

"More or less. The union set up several different work groups, all of whom were permitted to bid on the job, but their bids were too high and the Quorum wouldn't budge on how much money should be allotted to the project."

"I'm sorry, I'm afraid I don't understand," Doral shook his head. "How can one put a price on clean water?"

Kendra didn't know what to say, so she just shook her head and looked back down at the blue prints in front of her.

"And this man, Cummings," Doral sipped his coffee and lowered the cup back to the desk. "Where can I find him here on New Caprica? I was told that you set up a precise filing system detailing all of the citizens here on New Caprica."

"Mr. Gaeta and I actually took a census just after the groundbreaking ceremony last year, and there is record of everyone who took root here after we landed."

"That's excellent news. Do you think you could tell me where I might find Mr. Cummings?"

"Sure, let me check my files," she rose and started for the filing cabinet beside the desk.

"Hey, hey, hey…" Tom Zarek came into the office. "What is going on here?"

"Good morning, Mr. Vice President," Aaron Doral barely looked over his shoulder at the man behind him.

"Don't tell him anything, Kendra, do you hear me? Don't give any of them access to our systems, or tell them how we've organized our information."

"Mr. Zarek, I understand your apprehension about cooperating with us, but as we've already told you, our intentions here are peaceful. We want to do everything we can to help you and the other colonists get on their feet. You've lived here an entire year and there is no viable drainage system. The running water you do have is impossible to use for anything other than showering…"

"And that's up to us to take care of," Zarek crossed his arms. "I mean it Kendra. Don't give them anything they want."

It was uncanny how they all looked exactly alike, and Kendra felt a strange sensation ripple through her as a second copy of the cylon she knew as Aaron Doral stepped up behind Tom Zarek and asked, "Is there a problem here?"

"No problem at all," Zarek shrugged. "I'm simply issuing an order to our administrative assistant."

"You are no longer on authority to issue orders around here, Mr. Zarek," the second Doral said

"Kendra, go on and search for the information I require, while my associate and I have a word with Mr. Zarek out in the hallway."

The back of her throat feel dry as cotton, and the more she swallowed, the more it ached. "Of course, sir."

She walked over to the filing cabinet and opened the drawer, all the while positioning herself so that she could see what was going on in the hallway through a crack in the door.

Tom Zarek was struggling, even as he towered several inches over the man in front of him. She couldn't hear what he was saying, but caught the final leg of his protest, "…no right to come in here and take over like this."

"I'm sorry that you feel that way, Mr. Zarek. Perhaps a few days in our detention facility will give you some time to reassess your feelings."

"It's the only way you're going to stop me," Zarek insisted. "And you can guarantee I won't be the only one. There will be thousands of people who refuse to lay down and surrender. Mark my words!"

The metallic hum and clank of the Centurions sounded in the hallway, and Kendra grabbed the file she had been looking for. She returned to her seat and tried to act as though she were completely disinterested in what was going on outside the door. The commotion, however, alerted Gaius, who opened his office door and peered out from the shadows. It was only a matter of seconds before Tom Zarek's enraged shouts could be heard fading into the hallway, stomped out by the march of the Centurions that carted him away.

Doral turned back toward the office and Gaius slipped back inside, closing the door quietly. The two Doral models exchanged words in the hallway before parting ways, the one she had been working with returning to the office.

"I apologize for the interruption," he resumed his seat as though he'd gone to take care of nothing more than a bothersome caller. "It won't happen again."

"You were asking where you might find Alexander Cummings," she lifted the file before lowering it back to the desk and opening the front flap. "It would seem that he and his wife settled in a tent over near the fresh produce market."

"Excellent work, Ms. Warfield. I would also like you to do some research for me this afternoon. I'd like a full list of all people with prior engineering experience. We're going to need all of the engineers we can get our hands on if we ever want to get this city up and running."

"Of course, sir." She nodded. "I will go through all of my files this afternoon and make a complete list."

"Can I expect it by tomorrow morning, or will you need more time?"

"I should be able to have it by tomorrow morning."

"I'll look forward to it then," he offered her a sincere smile, at least it seemed sincere to her, and rose from his seat. "Thank you for your cooperation. You have been a model citizen these last three days."

"I'm happy to do what I can to help," she said.

Later she would reexamine those words while lying awake in the darkness of her quarters. Three days of cylon occupation and Tamlyn had been arrested twice. The Vice President had been taken into custody, and Kendra was just handing them whatever they wanted. She knew that Gaius was a coward and would have no trouble telling him so to his face, but she was no better than he was. Anything to keep her son safe, to keep herself on the side that allowed her to come home to her son at the end of the day. Maybe it was crazy. After everything the cylons had done to them, the destruction of the colonies, the endless pursuit through galaxy after galaxy… there was no way they should be trusted.

And yet… a part of her couldn't stop thinking about what Caprica had told her about him being some kind of sleeper agent, completely unaware of what he really was until it was too late…

The emptiness inside of her wanted nothing more than to see Leoben again. Part of her had even resolved her conscience of the notion that it would be him even if it wasn't really him… couldn't she lie to herself and pretend? She'd done it night after night with Gaius Baltar over the last few months. It had been easy to closer her eyes and see and feel what she wanted while their bodies writhed together in the darkness. Couldn't that fantasy spark to life even easier with someone who actually resembled the man that had left his mark so deeply embedded in her soul that she would never heal until she felt him near again?

She had even stopped thinking about him not being a man. She only had to close her eyes for a second to feel Leoben's touch, how real it had felt—his skin on her skin. The taste of sweat on his neck, the saliva in his kiss… More than any of that was the sound of his voice, the particular huskiness of his tone as he spoke to her in the dark.

Eyes closed, the oracle's words echoed through her awareness, "You will seek him out again, lost among the crowds of faces. All of them the same, but none of them are real. The one you seek is far from this place, but when the winged horse has fallen and all hope is lost, you must endure. In the chaos of battle, dust and ash, Two will become one and only then can the God of War be silenced by a father's hand."

Again and again, "All of them the same, but none of them are real…"

She would know him when she saw him, wouldn't she? The craziest part inside her wanted nothing more than to believe that she could identify him in a room full of copies. The stream would lead her back to him… She had to trust its flow.


	9. Chapter 9

Under Aaron Doral's recommendation, Kendra arrived outside of the detention facility the day Tamlyn was to be released from custody. She hiked Ares up a little higher onto her hip and shielded her eyes from the silver burn of the sun's light through the thick covering of clouds. She'd been waiting for over an hour, despite Aaron's promise that Tamlyn would be released promptly at 15:00.

"Unfortunately, Kendra, not everyone on New Caprica has been as helpful or even as welcoming as you. Since our arrival, your friend Tamlyn Couran has caused a great deal of trouble for herself."

Kendra had been assigned earlier in the week to assist Aaron Doral with the water project. She was worried that spending too much time alone with him could be dangerous or at the worst, uncomfortable, but after just two days in his company, she discovered that he was actually quite an interesting conversationalist.

"Involving herself in a resistance movement, resisting arrest… I think it might be a good idea for you to take her under your wing."

"You don't know Tamlyn," Kendra laughed a little. "She's incredibly passionate once she commits herself to a cause."

"Passion is a virtue, when applied to the proper course," Aaron leaned back in his chair and tented his fingers together beneath his chin. "What if you made it your cause to try and steer her off her present course just a little. You have seen first hand the good that we are trying to do here, Kendra. Maybe you can convince her that our intentions are good."

"Yes," she agreed. "In just over a week, you've already helped us manage three times what this office allowed in the year we were here."

"We only want to help," he assured her. "We have so much we could teach your people, if only they didn't resist."

"I will do whatever I can," she assured him.

"Then you won't mind a small suggestion," he said. "I think it may be best to invite her to stay with you, that way we can combine our efforts to keep a better eye on her."

"I don't know if that would work. My quarters are very small," she noted. "Between my son and me, we hardly have enough room to change our minds at the same time."

The sound of his laughter was completely human, completely puzzling, like everything about the cylons. In fact, everything she'd come to know about Aaron Doral in the last nine days suggested that despite the fact that there were literally thousands of copies of his model, he was just like all of the humans she had lived and worked with during her twenty-seven years of life.

He took two sugars in his coffee every morning and had lunch every afternoon at precisely 12:15. He developed a quirky habit of clearing his throat whenever the fan inside their offices was running—almost as if he suffered from some kind of allergy. He tapped his pen on the corner of his desk while reading documents, and while moving the desks around the day before, she'd seen definite evidence of sweat beads on his brow.

Just like Leoben…

In fact, she was fairly certain that had she met Aaron Doral at the library or a coffee shop back on Caprica without knowing he was a cylon, she could never have guessed it. Everything about him was utterly and perfectly human.

A part of her realized that she should have resented the cylons for being so human. They had taken everything away from humanity in a single swipe… their home, their loved ones, their comfort… The cylons had taken everything away that made mankind uniquely human, and yet she couldn't feel anger toward them no matter how she tried. Instead she was fascinated by them, wanted to know just how different their bodies really were from each other. After all, she and Leoben had created life together, had they not? His DNA mixed with hers in the blood of their son, something that didn't even seem scientifically possible when it came right down to it.

"Well," Aaron pushed his seat away from the desk and stood up, "I knew it would be a tight squeeze for you to have another person in your quarters, so how would you like to be one of the first tenants in the new apartment complex we expect to have raised by the end of this week?"

"Really?"

"You could be mistress of your very own two bedroom apartment," he said. "All you have to do is promise to do everything in your power to try and change your friend's mind."

"And what if I can't?"

"We're only asking you to try, Kendra," he said. "We realize that you're not a miracle worker, but you may have more influence over her than you think."

"I will do my best," she promised.

She watched the corner of his mouth twitch into a slow smile, and he nodded because he was pleased at how willing she was to please them. She should have been ashamed of herself, but then how many people could say they were just two days from moving into an actual apartment, one of the first apartments at that?

So there she was, standing in the brutal light of the silver sun, waiting for Tamlyn to be released from the detention facility. Ares squirmed in her arms, and she readjusted his weight again, this time to the opposite hip. She was blinded momentarily by the brilliance of the sun, and that was how she almost missed him walking out of the facility. The tufts of his dirty-blond hair stylishly disheveled, it was the shirt that actually gave him away. An island print in bright greens and yellows, he wore it unbuttoned with a plain blue t-shirt underneath. It seemed absurd to her than an entire line of cylons be created with the same bad taste in shirts, but then the cylons walked a thin line between sense and insanity as far as she was concerned.

"Excuse me," she rushed forward, compelled by some inane desire to simply occupy the same space with him. It was the first time in ten days occupation that she had even seen one of the models she had known to be her husband, Leoben Conoy. "Excuse me."

"I'm sorry, but all questions about prisoner releases should be handled by the interior secretary," he held up his hand in an act to move beyond her with little more than a brief glance.

Kendra thought quickly, her mind scrambling for some excuse to keep him close long enough to get a good look into his eyes. It had been so long, and even though she dreamed about him every night, to see those eyes again for herself…

"I was told that you were the one to speak with about my spiritual curiosities," she blurted out.

"You must be looking for Brother Cavil," at least he had stopped. "He is our resident spiritualist."

He turned around and took three long strides so that he was standing in front of her. The brilliance of the sun made her squint as she lifted her gaze to meet with his, but even against the blinding sunlight, there was no mistaking the amazing green of his eyes. She was so taken aback by them that it took everything in her to keep from gasping aloud.

"No," she shook her head. "I'm fairly certain it was you."

"Well, I am no religious councilman," he told her. "At least in no way that would satisfy the heathen practices of humanity."

"Perhaps that's why I was referred to you then," she was trembling, every part of her shaking so deeply that it had to be visible. The nervous lump at the back of her throat made it feel like she couldn't swallow, but she managed to despite it. "I've been dreaming of the One God for quite some time now. There are no temples, no places of worship, no one I can really talk to about the things I've seen or the questions I have."

He moved the top half of his body back slightly and turned his head in curiosity, "It's a rare surprise to hear of your kind speak of the One God. I would like to hear more of your thoughts, however, I am needed elsewhere right now. Maybe we could continue this discussion another time?"

"I would like that," she said, fearful that he could see right through her. What if he was headed off to have her taken into custody herself, thrown into a cell like Tamlyn and interrogated… tortured? Fortunately, she had once hung on every word her husband had said, the long, excited passages in the dark about the One God, the great connection… She was fairly confident that she could convince them if she really had to.

"What is your name?" He asked. "Where can I find you?"

"I am Kendra Warfield," she said. "I work in the Office of the President."

"Kendra Warfield," he nodded. "I have heard of the good work you've been doing on our behalf. I will come and find you there, and then you can tell me more about these dreams that have brought you to the truth about he One God."

"Thank you," she nodded, hoping that she didn't appear too eager. Not that it would matter. Her heart was racing so fast and so loud inside her that she was sure he could hear it.

That already infernal heart-rate quickened when the man who very well could have been her husband if she didn't know that there were thousands of cylon models who looked exactly like that man, lifted his hand and tousled Ares hair. "I look forward to it," he said, and then he walked away.

"How could you allow that… that thing to touch your child?" Tamlyn came raging toward her, the edge of her voice stirring the attention of everyone in the area. Her hair was wild as flame, unkempt and flying like a halo as she marched forward. "If you knew the things they did to people in there, you would lock that little boy away and hide yourself until every last one of those mechanical fraking bastards was obliterated."

"Tamlyn," she lifted her hands over Ares' ears. "Don't make a scene."

"Don't make a scene?" Her dark eyes widened with horror. "Do you have any idea the things they put you through in there? The torture, the nonstop questioning, night and day. I have a right to speak my mind."

"Let's go home, Tam. You can tell me about there."

"I'm not going anywhere near that place you stay in," she refused. "Not so long as the cylons are there. No way. No thank you."

"You don't have a choice," Kendra told her. "The only reason they agreed to let you out was because I offered for you to come stay on with me."

"You struck a deal with the toasters for me? What are you then, my babysitter now?"

"Tamlyn, I did whatever I could to get you out of there," she assured her. "As quickly as I could. This is the only way."

Tamlyn half-coughed and laughed, shaking her head, "The only way? I don't even want to know what else you had to do to get me out of there."

"Tam, please, just come with me. You can say whatever cruel and hateful things you want to me once we're back in my quarters, but this is not the place."

"No, it isn't," her voice was deadly quiet when she said, "because once they find out you're on the wrong side, they'll kill you, and whether you're a traitor or not, the last thing I want is your blood on my hands."

Those words haunted Kendra all the way back to her small room on Colonial One. _Once they find out you're on the wrong side, they'll kill you…_ But how could looking out for her only child, the only thing she had left of the world, put her on the wrong side? If it were their children, their little ones, wouldn't they do the same thing to guarantee their survival?

No one but Gaius Baltar and the Six knew that her husband on Caprica had been a cylon, and as far as she knew, not even the Six had guessed about Ares, but if Tamlyn every found out about Kendra's real past, the truth about who her husband had been, what her son really was, Tamlyn would string her up and perform the execution herself. She was going to have to be even more careful than before, if that were even possible.

"And what am I supposed to do with all my stuff? There's no way the three of us will fit here in this little cube of space." Tamlyn spun around the small space they were meant to share over the next few days and held up her arms in frustration. "I can barely even turn a circle in here without bumping into someone else. People can't live like this. We're not cattle. We need space and freedom."

"That's why we're moving," she said. "In two days we'll be moving into the apartment complex that is going up even now as we speak. We'll have a nice, two bedroom apartment, enough room for us all to relax in…"

"Relax," the sound of Tamlyn's laughter was edgy, borderline insane. "I will never be able to relax again, not as long as I know they're out there."

"Tam, sit down, let me get you some tea and you can tell me what happened, okay?"

Kendra lowered Ares onto the floor and put out a couple of his favorite toys to play with while she went about fixing Tamlyn's tea. The other woman just sat at the table, her wild hair still sticking out in tufts, her eyes wide with the kind of madness that only came with torture. She didn't say a word, not even after Kendra set a steaming mug down in front of her and took the seat opposite of her.

"It must have been awful for you," Kendra said, reaching over to lay her hand atop Tamlyn's. She was surprised by how quickly the other woman withdrew her hand, as if Kendra's touch had cut into her skin. "I'm so sorry."

"You're not sorry," she lifted her eyes to stare into Kendra. "If you were sorry, you would have left me there… hell, you'd have been there with me. You would have never struck up some kind of deal with the toasters."

"And what about my son? Am I supposed to just throw myself into the line of fire, leave my son an orphan to prove myself to you? Tamlyn, I know you don't believe me, but I was there when Gaius surrendered. The cylons are not here to hurt us. They want to make things right."

"Make things right?" Terror flooded Tamlyn's face, stripping away the subtle pink that rushed into her face from the cold walk home. "They kept me in a room under bright lights… the pattern of the bulbs is still burned into the back of my retinas, and everywhere I look I see only green rungs. They brought food into the interrogation, ate in front of me and promised to feed me if I talked, but they never fed me? After they finally turned off the lights, they let rats loose into my room, and even though my throat was raw from screaming, they didn't come. Not even after I told them I would tell them whatever they wanted to know, they didn't come."

"Tam, I am so sorry," tears filled her lids, making it impossible to see beyond the blurry lens that covered her eyes. "I know you don't want to believe me, but this is why you can't fight them. This is why you have to stay with me, let me take care of you… Please."

"You can do things their way, but they'll get to you in the end. They get to everyone in the end."

"No," she shook her head, and forewent her apprehension about touching her friend. "Listen to me, Tam. I'm going to take care of you. I won't let anyone hurt you again, I promise. You're going to come with me, and stay with me, and it'll be quiet and peaceful there. Okay."

Tamlyn said nothing. She didn't nod her head in agreement, or try to protest anymore. She just went along with whatever Kendra said, a vacant body and mind that had shut down and refused to turn on again. Not even Ares had the privilege of her attention anymore. It was as if she had emptied herself out and refused to be full again. After they moved their few belongings into the apartment building that was completed as promised by the end of that week, Tamlyn was a vacant body shuffling along beside Kendra.

Just like that, Tamlyn closed herself off from the world around them. She did nothing to help with the move, but disappeared behind the door of her bedroom in the apartment. She only came out to use the bathroom and eat, but even then she didn't speak. The babysitter, an old woman from Gemenon named Davidia, had taken over Tamlyn's duties and promised to come by daily and take care of Ares and Tamlyn both because Kendra knew that Tamlyn could no longer be counted on to care the little boy who had once brought her so much joy.

The first night in their new apartment, Kendra laid awake in her new surroundings listening to her own thoughts race madly around the track inside her head. Of course the cylons were torturing prisoners. Aaron Doral had said as much himself, but torture always seemed so unreal unless you were on the inside going through it. Tamlyn had obviously been tormented very badly, and Kendra couldn't live with the idea of her best friend's spirit having been broken.

And then there was her impromptu act to fall into Leoben's line of vision. That stuff about the One God had just fumbled out of her, almost as if God himself had made her say it. And his voice… his eyes… everything about him was exactly as she remembered. He even looked as though he hadn't shaved in a couple days, the scruffy weekend look her own husband had been famous for. When she closed her eyes, she could feel the scrape of his stubble along the curve of her neck as he suckled and kissed his way to her hungry, waiting mouth. It was a painful, yet delicious memory that made her feel ashamed.

She was no better than the cylons… the Gods only knew what kind of role she had played in the extermination of her own race, thanks to her cylon husband. By all rights, she should hate him, be disgusted by the very thought of him, but it didn't work that way. When that perfect copy of the man she'd once loved smiled at her that afternoon outside the detention center, it had crushed her in ways that she knew she would never recover from. She knew that when he finally sought her out to hear about her spiritual revelations, she was going to do whatever it took to make him want her, just so she could experience some semblance of the completeness she had known before he was taken away from her on Caprica.


	10. Chapter 10

The following Monday, Aaron and Kendra walked the perimeter of the water project's worksite together. He held a clipboard in his arm, occasionally marking down notes. Behind them the mechanical march of two centurions guarded them on their walk, a gesture that Kendra understood now to be all too necessary. She couldn't stop thinking about Tamlyn's statement, that she was on the wrong side and that when they found out, they would kill her.

"I meant to drop by your apartment to bring you a housewarming gift," Aaron said. "Unfortunately we had an incident that tied me up all weekend. All work and no play…"

Sometimes the wind on New Caprica was brutal, and that morning it tore hard through Kendra's hair, making the loose ends feel like stinging whips against her face and neck. "More trouble with the insurgency?"

"Always trouble with the insurgency," he said. "Anyway, I was wondering if I might drop by your apartment this evening. It's nothing, just a little token of my appreciation."

"You didn't have to get me a housewarming gift," she watched her feet, the dark mud on the ground beneath them. It specked the black of her shoes, quickly drying in dull grey splotches. "You've done a lot for me already, getting me into the apartment building for starters."

"Well, you've done a lot for me too," he shrugged. "I had very little faith in humanity before I met you. You have an outlook that many of your kind don't seem to share."

_If only you knew_, she thought, glancing across the job site. Workers bustled from place to place carrying pipes moving barrels of mixed cement, while others put their back into building the infrastructure. She hadn't been able to stop thinking about the cylon she had met outside of the detention facility. He'd said he would come and seek her out at work, but he hadn't come Friday and with her away from the office that day with Aaron, she was sure she would miss him. He wouldn't likely come back either, and the thought of having to dream up another excuse to involve herself with that particular cylon model gave her a headache.

Aaron paused and looked out over the worksite as well, squinting against the harsh light of the sun. Kendra studied his profile for a moment, the serious angle of his brow and the thin worry lines that had left their mark. He had hazel eyes, more brown than green, but the light of the sun drew out hints of subtle yellow and bright blue as well. He'd been so nice to her, all of the cylons she had worked with so far had, but she didn't want to be naïve.

She followed his gaze out over the quickly growing project. The apartment complex had been the first with clean, running water, and by midweek they hoped to make clean water for cooking, drinking, showering readily available to everyone. Kendra couldn't stop gushing about her own personal bathroom, the convenience of a hot shower every night if she wanted one. The comfort was reminiscent of Caprica, and if people could only set their differences with the cylons aside, they could all work together to create a real semblance of the life they lost during the attacks.

"And how have things been for you and your new roommate?" Aaron asked.

"She won't speak to me," she drew the dry skin of her lower lip between her teeth. "Apparently I'm on the wrong side of things and it's only a matter of time before they kill me."

"They, meaning the insurgents?"

She shook her head, "I don't know. She just said they."

"That is a threat I'd be taking a little more seriously, Kendra."

"I don't know what to think. She wasn't herself when she left there. She hasn't been herself since."

"I'm sorry to hear that," he didn't look at her, but narrowed his eyes as if he'd noticed something important in the distance. He took out his clipboard and wrote something down, and then he asked, "Do you agree with her?"

"About what?"

"About being on the wrong side of things?"

"There shouldn't be sides," Kendra said.

"But there are sides," Aaron tucked the clipboard back into the crook of his arm. "Whether we agree with the notion of there being sides or not, make no mistake that they have been clearly drawn, and you've made the right choice about which one you're on, Kendra."

She nodded slowly as he finally turned his gaze to meet with hers. He offered a slight smile, and then started walking again. "You're not safe on your own anymore because of your loyalty. You may not like this, but I'm going to put in an application for you to have a Centurion guard to look after you."

"That's not really necessary, is it?"

"If it's only a matter of time before they start turning these preposterous attacks on their own kind, punishing those of you with the good sense and reason toward forgiveness and growth." The corners of his mouth tightened into a near scowl, and he shook his head. "You have a little boy to consider, Kendra."

"Of course," she agreed, her mind suddenly drawn to the hiss and clank of the Centurion guards that marched behind them.

"Even if it's just a post outside your apartment and an escort back and forth to your job every day, you don't want to take any chances."

"No," she said. "No, you're right."

"Now, about tonight," the serious mask he wore disappeared almost as quickly as it had appeared and he turned a subtle grin on her. "Do I have your permission to drop by with a little gift?"

"Absolutely," she agreed, returning his smile. "Though I still say the gift wasn't necessary."

It was easy to ignore the stares as they walked through the tented streets of New Caprica, but she could still feel them on her. The bitterness in the air itself was incredibly hard to swallow, and she realized that she might not have noticed it all if Tamlyn hadn't mentioned the very real danger she had put herself in when she'd agreed to cooperate with the cylons. Whispers stirred the words _traitor_ and _backslider_, and racist slander that was more true than those doing the name calling could possibly imagine made her feel a little sick to her stomach. She kept her head down, but it wasn't easy to let the things they muttered in the streets just wash over her.

Toasters. Skin jobs. Bullet heads. Clankers. Chrome jobs… They cylons were things, incapable of feeling or expressing emotion, but Kendra knew in her heart that that just wasn't true. Leoben had loved her. He had loved her so deeply that it ached inside him. He'd said so himself. The Number Six they called Caprica had shielded Gaius Baltar with her body from the nuclear detonation, sacrificing herself to save him. That was love.

"I guess once you go chrome, you never go home," someone called out, and then Kendra was struck in the back of the head by something wet and heavy.

She stumbled forward, but Aaron's quick reflexes caught her before she hit the ground. He steadied her on her feet, his serious face marred with anger as he looked out over the crowd behind them. Kendra reached around to touch the back of her head, black mud mixed with her own blood, and bits of stone covered her hand when she drew it back in examination. The thickness of the mud dripped in clumps down the back of her neck and her jacket, but the Centurions had already reacted, turning quickly and activating their guns.

"Stand down," Aaron ordered. "Are you all right, Kendra?"

"I'm fine," she insisted.

Three more Centurions came over from Colonial One and Aaron instructed them to see her home.

"I'll be fine, just give me a minute to clean up and we can get back to work."

"Is that blood?" He took her hand and examined the fingers, black and red. "No, don't argue, Kendra. Take the day. Go home and shower. I'll send two Centurions to stand guard on your apartment and have one of our medics drop by to examine you."

"I don't need a medic," she said. "I swear, I'll be fine."

"Either way, you're still going home. We'll talk tonight when I drop by."

She opened her mouth to protest, but his insistence was not to be argued with. Flanked by the two Centurion guards, she walked the remainder of the way home to the apartment complex. She didn't look back over her shoulder when the arrests started, didn't listen to the sound of chaos as it broke loose just near the edge of the city. She had caused a riot, she realized as she climbed the stairs to her second floor apartment.

"You're home early," Davidia noted when Kendra entered the apartment.

"Yeah," she looked around the silent kitchen and seconds later Ares came running around the corner. "You can head home early today, Davidia. I have the rest of the afternoon off."

"Is everything all right? You look disheveled."

"It will be," she lifted her little boy into her arms.

Tamlyn's shadow breached the doorway as well, the wild nest of her hair swaying with the movement off her body. "It's only just beginning you know," she said. "It's only a matter of time before things get worse for you."

"Tamlyn," Kendra lifted her hand to the back of her son's neck and held him close. "If you know anything about this… You know that now there are Centurions guarding the apartment?"

The other woman shook her head, her eyes widening, "You should have left me there, Kendra."

"I'm going now, Miss Kendra," Davidia lowered her head and started toward the door. "Will you be needing me tomorrow?"

"As far as I know, yes, Davidia. Thank you for all your help."

"You should have left me to rot there, Kendra."

"Tamlyn, please," she took a step toward her friend, but Tamlyn backed away. "Can't you see all of the good that has come out of this? In just two weeks there is running water, indoor plumbing, dry places to live."

"For the frakking cylons."

"I'm not a cylon, Tam, and neither are you."

"No, you're just one of their pets now, that's all you are to them. Don't you see it? You're their pet human. Obedient, willing to stab your own kind in the back for a drink of clean water and a warm place to sleep at night."

"How dare you?" Kendra drew back, cradling her son's body close. "You know I only took that job so I could make a better life for my son."

"Stop using him as an excuse, Kendra. There are thousands of people out there with children, and you don't see them groveling at the cylons' boots for free handouts."

"Shut up," she shouted, causing Ares to cringe in fright at the sound of their shouting. "You have no idea what's it like. What I go through. It's just you! All you have to think about is you."

"I used to think about you too," Tamlyn said. "But I can see that was a mistake. You've got it all figured out for yourself. I should have seen the signs when I realized you were frakking the Gods damned president. Anything to get ahead, to make sure you don't have to suffer through a single moment of discomfort…"

Kendra's reaction was quick, her free hand striking out so hard that her palm stung after making contact. For a moment both she and Tamlyn just stood in shock after the slap, and then Ares started to cry. Kendra withdrew then, holding him tight and walking away to the bedroom she shared with her son. Kicking the door closed behind her, she sat down on the edge of the bed and tried to pull herself together.

It took a long time for Ares to calm down. He was obviously tired, and when he finally fell asleep, Kendra broke down herself. Her head ached where she'd been hit and her nerves were frazzled. Was Tamlyn right? Was she playing into the hands of the cylons to satisfy her own selfish desires? There were other women out there, single mothers with no father for their children, and they suffered. Kendra didn't want her son to suffer, but more than anything, she wanted him to know his father one day. His father was a cylon, and if that made Kendra herself a traitor, then that's who she had to be.

She laid Ares down in his crib and covered him with a blanket. She drew back and stood above him for several minutes, watching as he slept. He breathed in, his diaphragm catching the tail end of a sob, his exhaled sigh contentment.

She contemplated the insanity of it all while standing beneath the steaming stream of shower that jetted over her, and for several minutes she let go and just cried. As long as she and Tamlyn had been friends, they had never even had so much as an argument, but in less than two weeks it felt as if they never really knew each other at all.

It stung where she'd been hit, the blood washing pink through the blond layers of her hair until at last it was clean again. Afterwards, it throbbed, but the steam and heat relaxed away her tension, and by the time she stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in her bathrobe, she felt remotely human again.

She was towel-drying her hair when the screaming started. It sliced through the silence of the apartment like a razor, and it was all Kendra could do to react quickly enough. She darted from the bathroom in a panic and raced out into the kitchen where she found Tamlyn backed against the corner wall wildly swinging a carving knife toward the door.

Kendra followed the knife's direction and found Leoben standing there with both hands up in a gesture of peace, but the women in the corner of the room didn't stop shrieking even when Kendra burst into the room and cried out her name.

"I was told at the Office of the President that I could find you here," Leoben called out to her over the incessant screeching of madness. "It looks like I've come at a bad time though."

"Tamlyn," Kendra started toward her friend, but the woman quickly spun and held the knife toward her. "Tam, it's me. Put the knife down."

Tamlyn at least stopped screaming, but was muttering madness under her breath that Kendra quickly recognized as a prayer to the Lords of Kobol. She drew in on herself into the corner, hiding her face and the knife while mumbling the same prayer over and over.

"Tamlyn, look at me, listen to me, you're okay," she moved closer, her attention snagged by a rapidly growing puddle on the floor at Tamlyn's feet. It was alarmingly red, thick red… blood, and it was everywhere. Kendra's own screams didn't even feel as though they were coming from her. It was if the part of her that rushed forward and grasped Tamlyn by the shoulders existed outside of her. The knife dropped to the floor with a heavy clang, metal against tile, and Tamlyn fell heavily into Kendra's arms.

"Help me," she heard herself cry as she shuffled backward onto the floor, the other woman's body sprawled out in her lap. "Please, help me."

Leoben was lost for a moment in the shadow of the doorway, and then he was there in front of her on his knees tearing away the fabric of his own shirt and tying it tourniquet style above the gaping wound in Tamlyn's arm.

"It's gonna be okay," he said softly, the reassurance of his voice both comforting and confusing to her senses. For a moment it as though all memories of losing him had been washed away by the one single reassurance. "I've sent for help," eyes like a storm at sea flickered across her face, genuinely concerned, but equally reassuring. "She's going to be fine. I stopped the bleeding."

Kendra looked down at Tamlyn, her uncombed hair and the dark circles under her closed eyes. A streak of blood darkened her bone white cheek, the colors making Kendra feel sick and unsteady herself.

"You're okay," as if he'd sensed her weariness, Leoben reached over and gripped her chin in his hand, drawing her eyes to meet his. "Look at me," he said. "And breathe."

"I am," she nodded.

"Good girl," his smile was gentle, reassuring. "Help is on the way."


	11. Chapter 11

There was no time to consider how quickly the medic had arrived, but Kendra stood back in the same corner that Tamlyn had lost her mind in and watched as the Centurions lifted her friend onto a stretcher and carried her out of the apartment. She didn't cry, though she wanted to. She just trembled from the inside out until the medic was gone and Leoben convinced her to go into her room and change her clothes. Blood stained the white fabric of her bathrobe, and despite having just come from the shower, she felt unclean.

She washed her hands and got dressed, returning to the kitchen just in time for Leoben to lower a mug of steaming tea onto the table in front of her. He leaned backward into the seat across from her and softly said, "Mint, chamomile, it'll calm your nerves."

"Thank you," she watched the spirals of steam rise up from the mug in front of her, but her mind was far away. She couldn't get the image of Tamlyn's wild eyes out of her mind, or the pool of blood that swam toward her feet while she panicked in the wake of disaster. Would it have still happened if he hadn't been there? Had Leoben caught Tamlyn in the midst of something even darker and more sinister than Kendra could imagine?

"You feel responsible for what happened, but it wasn't your fault."

"She said I should have left her there, rather than bringing her here to live with me."

"From the detention facility?"

"She was never the same," Kendra nodded. "A part of her was completely destroyed when she was taken into custody."

"She was tortured?"

"Yeah."

Even without looking directly at him, she watched as he lowered his head in what could only be described as sorrow. "Torture is a primitive and useless tool designed to create more problems, rather than solving them."

"Then why indulge in it?"

He shook his head, "Sometimes before we become aware of our own path, we follow blindly the pathways that were laid out before us. Children take up the habits of their parents until they become strong enough to shatter the images they were presented with, but unfortunately, not all children can break the cycle."

"All of this has happened before…" she muttered one of the most well-known passages from the Scrolls of Pythia.

"And it will happen again," he finished. "Only it doesn't have to. God offers the divine power of choice, and we can use that power to take our destiny into hand." He was quiet for a moment, which drew attention to the absolute silence of the apartment around them. Then he asked, "Do you believe in destiny, Kendra?"

"I didn't used to," she admitted, finally reaching out to curl her cold fingers around the warm mug in front of her.

"But you do now?"

"My husband," how strange it seemed to be talking about him in the past tense, even as he sat there before her. "He died back on Caprica, a couple weeks before the attacks. He used to talk about destiny all the time. How there were no coincidences, no accidents. That everything happened for a reason and that reason was destiny."

She watched as the dimple in his left cheek deepened with the stretch of his smile. "Even what happened here today," he looked toward the corner of the kitchen that was still awash with Tamlyn's blood. She would have to clean the mess before Ares woke from his nap. He would never understand. "My arrival here, your friend's breakdown…"

"But if we can take it into hand, couldn't it have been prevented?"

"Only if our choices had been purposely altered by awareness. If I had not chosen to come here because I knew what was going to take place, or if your friend had not made the choices she made today… Unless one sees the patterns in the universe, then they are powerless against them, mere pawns on a game board being shifted here and there by outside forces."

"Why did you come here today?" she looked up into his eyes, part of her afraid that she wouldn't like the answer that he provided.

He didn't blink, but held her gaze for a long moment. "You fascinate me," he admitted. "I've thought of you quite often since we met. A human with a connection to the One God… it's quite remarkable, but even more remarkable is the connection between us. We were supposed to meet that afternoon, just as we are meant to be here together right now."

There was a panicked flutter in Kendra's stomach. Was it possible that she had found him after all? Her husband? No… The oracle had spoken of incredible struggle, a vast hopelessness before reprieve. It couldn't be so simple, could it?

"I can't explain it," he said, "but there is a part of me that feels…"

There was a knock on the door that caused her to jump. Heart racing simply from the conversation, she tried to conceal her panic and rose from the table. "Excuse me for a moment." She couldn't imagine who would be at her door, perhaps the medic returned, or Aaron Doral. On rubber legs, she walked to the door only to be surprised by Gaius Baltar on the other side. Wide eyes behind black-rimmed glasses searched her face in concern, his hand reaching out to touch her arm.

"I came over as soon as I heard the news, my Gods, are you all right?"

"I'm fine, Gaius," she twisted her fingers together and stepped to the side so he might see into the apartment. "Tamlyn had a breakdown, hurt herself…"

"Are you serious? When did that happen?"

"You just said you came when you heard the news…"

"About the riots this morning, you and Doral on your way back from the water project site. He said they attacked you…"

"Someone threw mud at me," she shook her head. "I'd hardly call that an attack."

"Well it was brutal enough to incite a riot," he said. "What's this about your friend Tamlyn, then?"

"She had a breakdown," she explained. "If it wasn't for…"

"I'm Leoben," he arrived behind her so quickly that she hadn't expected him there and backed into him by accident. Leoben leaned against her to hold his hand out to Gaius, who examined it with shocked curiosity before cautiously taking it. "We met this afternoon in your offices."

"Oh yes," Kendra had never seen Gaius so nervous, his brown eyes flashing strange signals behind his glasses that she couldn't interpret. "Leoben, yes. You came into the offices looking for Kendra this morning, right, yes. You've found her then. Very well." It was easy to pass off his nervous fit as eccentricity, but Kendra had come to know him in panic mode rather well over the last year.

"Yes, and I'm glad that he was here," she admitted. "I wouldn't have known what to do."

"Good," Gaius nodded. "And I wanted to make sure you were all right of course, but I had no idea, no idea about your friend. Will she be all right, do you know?"

"The medic said she lost a lot of blood."

Leoben stood behind her, so close that she could almost feel the heat coming off of his body, and there was a familiarity about the way he smelled that stirred her senses. "It'll take some time before they can stabilize her," he said.

"Well, I hope when you see her that you give her my regards," Gaius said. "And take care of yourself as well. I don't know how I would forgive myself if anything were to happen to you."

"I'll be fine," she insisted. "Aaron has put Centurions on guard outside the apartment…"

"And I'm always just downstairs in case she needs anything," Leoben said.

"Good," Gaius nodded. "Excellent. Well, then I shall be going. I simply wanted to make sure you were well, and now that I can see you are well and well looked after. I'll be on my way."

"Thank you for stopping by, Gaius," she said.

He regarded Leoben again, offered a strange look to Kendra that begged for future explanation, and then he backed out of the doorway. They had barely spoken to each other since he'd surrendered to the cylons, and Kendra was fairly certain he had been spending all of his time with the Six. A shudder of fear moved through her when she realized Gaius would probably mention to the Six that he had seen Leoben at her apartment. What if Caprica told him the truth about her? That she had once been married to another of his model on Caprica. What if she realized the truth about Ares?

"You will be all right," Leoben said as she closed the door. He stood between her and the kitchen for a moment, towering over her so familiarly that it took all she had inside her not to reach out her arms and seek comfort from him. "I am just downstairs if you need anything at all. The first apartment on the right. I'll look out for you."

"Thank you," the words came out so quiet she barely heard them herself. "For everything. If it wasn't for you today… you saved her life, and you didn't have to."

"Maybe I did," he said. "Maybe that was only just a small part of the connection between us."

"Maybe."

"You've had a long day."

"Longer than you could possibly imagine."

"You need some time to yourself, and I should go, but I would like to continue the discussion we were barely able to begin. May I visit you again?"

"I would like that."

"How does tomorrow evening sound?"

She wanted to say that it sound like it was too far away, but instead she nodded, "That would be fine."

"We have so much to talk about," his slow grin was like a dagger through her. "I'll see you tomorrow."

After he left the apartment, Kendra pressed her back against the door and released her breath as though she had been holding it inside of her for hours. She closed her eyes, tried to ignore the dull throbbing headache that pulsed near the back of her skull. She wasn't sure how she did it, but somehow she had managed to endure his company without going completely mad, at least not outwardly.

She didn't break down until she filled a bucket with warm, soapy water and knelt down to clean away the evidence of Tamlyn's breakdown. The words still stung, their argument before the incident echoed over and over in her head.

_"You're just one of their pets now… Obedient, willing to stab your own kind in the back for a drink of clean water… Thousands of people out there with children, and you don't see them groveling at the cylons' boots for free handouts… Anything to get ahead… anything to make sure you don't have to suffer through a single moment of discomfort…"_

Leoben could say that it wasn't her fault, that she shouldn't blame herself, but Leoben himself was proof that Kendra had contributed to Tamlyn's breakdown. The cylons outside her apartment standing guard were further testament to her betrayal. What if she had deliberately aligned herself with the cylons just to get closer to Leoben? Was that not further proof that she was guilty of pushing her friend over the edge?

The sponge in her hand smeared through the clotting puddle of blood that stained the tile. Soap bubbles thinned through it and when she squeezed the sponge into the bucket the water ran red. It stained her hands while she cleaned, colored her cuticles pink.

Later she would stand in the bathroom scrubbing at them for nearly an hour while Ares ran around the apartment, jumping from sofa to chair as though piloting his own ship. The sound of pretend guns livened the apartment, and though she realized that she should be happy—that for the first time since her little boy had been born, he had the freedom of his own home to run about and play in, all she could think about was whether or not the cost of that freedom was too high.

The day had been so full that she had completely forgotten that she had told Aaron he could drop by until he knocked on the door. It was just going on 19:00 and she and Ares were reading a story together in the living room. Carrying him with her to the door, she hesitated before opening, part of her wishing she could just hide away from what was left of the world, human and cylon alike.

"Aaron," she opened the door.

She had never seen him in a casual atmosphere, though he was dressed as professionally as if they were at the office together. "Kendra, I hope I didn't come at a bad time."

He had a bottle of wine in one hand and a hanging basket complete with house plant in the other.

"No," she shook her head. "We were just reading a little bed time story." Aaron regarded the little boy in her arms, and Ares tilted his head in the shy manner he often used with strangers. "Won't you come in?"

She stepped aside and allowed him into her apartment, surprised by how awkwardly he moved, almost as though he was unsure of himself in her company alone. "This is for you," he held up the plant, long leaves lush and green. "It's a Caprican Spider," he explained. "Very rare, but equally beautiful."

"It is beautiful," she agreed, reaching out with her free hand to accept it. "Thank you. You know, I had one of these in my apartment on Caprica. It loved the sunlight."

"They do thrive in direct sun," he said.

"I know just where I'll hang it then." Ares reached out to touch the leaves, but he didn't take his eyes from the strange man that had come to visit. "Ares, can you say hello to Mr. Doral?" The boy turned his face into her shoulder to hide, but she could feel him smiling against her. "He likes to pretend he's shy, but if you're here long enough, I'm sure he'll be begging you to read stories to him."

The discomfort was a definite hint at his nervousness in being there, but Kendra couldn't understand whether it was because of Ares or just that they were actually alone together outside of the work environment. "This is for you also," he held up the bottle of wine. "From Aerilon," he explained. "A very good year."

"Wow," she examined the bottle. "That really wasn't necessary, Aaron."

"After all you've been through, it's the least I could offer," he shrugged and set the bottle on the counter top. "I heard about what happened with your friend Tamlyn. I'm so sorry."

"Me too," she turned back toward the living room.

"Have you heard any news about her condition?"

"Nothing," she shook her head. "I am planning to stop by and see her after work tomorrow though. Why don't we head into the living room and have a seat?"

"All right," he followed her through the kitchen and into the living room. She gestured toward the sofa and he sat down, bouncing twice on the seat before sitting back against the cushion and lifting his ankle to rest on his knee.

She set Ares down on the floor and he immediately ran over to where he'd left a couple of his toys. He sat down and started quietly playing, and Kendra took a seat in the chair beside the sofa.

"President Baltar was here this afternoon," she said. "Shortly after the incident with Tamlyn."

"I was surprised by how worried he was when I told him about what happened this morning." Aaron said. "He was very concerned about you."

"Gaius and I go way back," she crossed her arms and snuggled back into the chair. "I used to work in his office on Caprica as well."

"Six mentioned your association," he nodded. "Did you escape together?"

"Oh, no. No, I didn't even know he was still alive until he took the office of Vice President, and even then, we didn't reunite until we settled here on New Caprica. It was an odd little home coming, having someone to talk to that actually knew people I once knew…"

"You were married," and his eyes moved slowly toward Ares, who was flying a hand-carved viper around a wooden block settlement. "He knew your husband?"

"Only briefly," she said.

"You mentioned that he was killed," he remembered. "Was it during the attacks?"

"No, he was shot about two weeks prior to the attack on the colonies. We went to the park and that afternoon he gave me tickets for a luxury getaway." Her eyes grew distant, and her voice so quiet it could barely be heard. It never ceased to stun her just how lost she seemed to get whenever she relived the most awful moment in her life. "Ironically, that was how I managed to survive the attack myself."

"A happy misfortune," he lamented.

"I suppose," she looked up at him, but his gaze was on Ares. "He was the only happiness that came out of that misfortune," she said. "If it hadn't been for him… well, let's just say that if it wasn't for him, I probably wouldn't be here myself."

This admission drew his eyes toward her, his expression a mixture of confusion and curiosity. "I'm sorry," he shook his head, "I have never understood the simple human logic of basing the value of one's own life on the life of another."

"No? Then you have never known love."

"That is exactly what the Six said," she was surprised by the slight elation in his voice, as though this second confirmation had been exactly what he was seeking. "You know the one I mean, we call her Caprica now because of… well…"

"I know why they call her Caprica," she said. "Gaius told me that she shielded him from the fallout with her own body. She gave up her life, so that he might live."

"Yes," he had tented his fingers in his lap, a gesture he often performed while they were at work and he was deep in thought. "It's something I can't fathom, but she claims that she did it out of love for him. She knew though, that she couldn't die. That she would download into a new body. Does that make it any less heroic?"

"I don't know."

"Would you say then that love is powerful enough to both make one want to live for them and die for them?"

"I would say that if it came down to it, and I had to lay my own life down to save my son, I would without question, and when my husband died, I was so broken inside that I wanted to die. I couldn't imagine going on without him."

"I see."

In the silence that followed, Kendra was distracted by the hollow sound of Ares yawning. "It looks like someone is ready for bed," she noted. "Would you excuse me, Aaron, while I put my son to bed?"

"By all means, I'm the one interrupting your schedule. Don't let me get in the way."

"I'll be right back."

When Kendra returned from putting her Ares down for bed, Aaron had moved to stand in front of the picture window that looked away from New Caprica City, out over an empty plot of land that would soon become a second apartment building. There was talk about including a small playground in between the two buildings, a place mothers could send their children to play while they got their housework done.

"I thought he would protest, but today was such a long and twisted day, even for him, that his eyes were closed almost before his head hit the pillow."

Aaron turned from the window and suggested, "Let's break open the bottle of wine I brought."

"All right, but be forewarned. I haven't any fancy glassware to drink from," she laughed,

"Whatever you have will do just fine," he followed her into the kitchen and while she readied the glasses he pulled the cork from the bottle. She set two glasses down and he poured them both an equal measure before pushing the cork back into the bottle. He lifted one of the glasses toward her and she took it.

"Thank you."

He lifted his own glass, the pale light from above streaming through the liquid and flashing red across his skin. "To new friends," he said, "and new beginnings."

She clinked the corner of her glass against his and said, "I'll drink to that."

It was a dry red, sweet and warm as it slid down her throat, and burned into her blood quickly, lighting an obvious fire under her skin. After the day she'd had, she probably drank too quickly, but without a second thought she reached for the bottle and poured herself another glass. Aaron watched her, carefully guarded eyes that he quickly shifted away when she looked up.

"I've been doing some thinking," he leaned his back into the counter behind him, one arm crossed over his chest, the other half-lifting his wine. "What happened this morning was unacceptable. The insurgence isn't going to go away unless we find some way to combine our forces, and until then, perhaps it would be best if you laid low."

"What do you mean?"

"You've been a tremendous help to me, and I still want your help, trust me, but it may be in your best interest to avoid traveling back and forth to Colonial One for awhile, just until we come up with a solution to get these attacks under control."

"Are you firing me, Aaron?"

"No," he straightened himself just a little. "Not firing you. You would still work for me specifically, taking care of paperwork for me, writing up important documents… just not from the office."

"Not from the office? I don't understand."

"You could work from home for awhile… spend more time with your little boy, stay off the streets."

"That's easy for you to say, but someone has to go the market, make sure we have enough food and supplies. Not to mention that I can't stay here in this apartment all the time, not after spending years packed into a tiny ship, barely any room to breathe, no opportunity for sunlight or fresh air."

"I'm not suggesting you lock yourself in your apartment, just that you take some time away. Draw yourself away from situations that might put you in danger."

She shook her head and swallowed what was left in her second glass of wine. It was already going to her head, a heavy attack that made her tingle inside. "Why am I the one being punished for doing the right thing?"

"It isn't punishment, Kendra, please understand…"

"Isn't it? I'm being attacked in the streets, degraded in my own home by a woman I thought I knew… I have Centurion guards outside my door and now I'm being asked to work from home. It's starting to feel like I'm some kind of prisoner."

He lowered his half-empty glass to the counter top and positioned himself across from her. It took her off guard when he braced her shoulders in his hands, a gentle act he obviously hoped would have some kind of impact on her. "You're not a prisoner, not like that. If anything, you're a prisoner of your own people's ideals."

"Well that's just great." She drew out of his grasp and turned around to pour herself another glass of wine.

"Kendra, look at me," he lowered a hand onto her shoulder from behind, drawing her around again. "In the last two weeks, we have already done amazing things together to make New Caprica a better place. They may not see it now, but one day they will. Until then, I want you safe so we can continue doing amazing things together."

She shook her head, avoiding his intense, hazel eyes. His hand was still on her shoulder, she noticed, but not in a menacing way.

"I've had a really long day, Aaron. It's starting to catch up with me."

"You're tired," he guessed. "I understand. I hope that you see the logic in this after you've had a good night's sleep."

"I'm sure tomorrow my outlook will be much better," the smile she offered him was weak. "Thank you for the plant and for the wine."

"Thank you for inviting me into your home," his hand dropped down to his side. "I will be by in the morning to go over some work details with you, get you started on our next big project."

"Good night."

"Good night," he took a step backward and then turned toward the door.

After he had gone, she locked the doors and took what was left of her bottle of wine into her bedroom. She didn't even grab the glass, but just tipped back straight from the bottle, ignoring the intense burn of alcohol like fire in her veins. Aaron could say all he liked that she wasn't a prisoner, but what else could one call it. Guarded, instructed not to go outside under threat of bodily harm… and for what? Clean water and a warm place to lay her head?

On waves of intoxication, she fell into a thick slumber filled with mind-numbing dreams. Leoben reaching out to grasp her face, his mouth on hers, their bodies in the dark, writhing together upon sheets soaked in blood. Bodies painted red, it seeped into their hair as it rose up around them like a river in flood. Unable to hold it inside her no longer, she cried out, "I love you! I love you!"

But then he drew back to look into her face, and it wasn't Leoben looking back at her, it was Aaron Doral. "Would you say that love was powerful enough that you would die for me?"

"No," she gasped, shaking her head in slow refusal.

"Is it strong enough that you would die for me?"

Her whispered denial caught in her throat, "No…"

"I know that you would die for me," Leoben was there again, risen before her on his knees.

"I would," she said, hot tears rushing down her face. "I would die for you. I would die for you…"

"But will you live for me? Live for me, Kendra. Live for me."

Kendra jolted awake and into the eerie silence of the night. In the distance she heard the mechanical march of the Centurions on patrol. She laid back in the pillows and tried to catch her breath, but the imagery from her dream wouldn't let her relax.


	12. Chapter 12

It was early the next morning when Kendra opened the door, surprised to find Aaron on the other side, briefcase in one hand and a bag from the market in the other.

"I brought breakfast," he announced, holding up the bag. "I thought it might be a good idea to have a little breakfast meeting while we get some work done."

"I wasn't expecting you so early," she noted, gesturing to her relaxed attire as she stepped aside to allow him. "I haven't even gotten dressed yet."

He looked her over curiously and then shrugged one shoulder upward. "You always look nice when I see you," he said. "This morning is no different than any other morning, as far as I can tell."

"Well thank you," she laughed. "We were just trying to decide what to have for breakfast, weren't we, Ares?"

Ares regarded the man in front of the table and then hid a smile behind his hand. Kendra watched her son and inwardly wondered if he sensed that there was a difference between the humans and the cylons. During the months that Kendra had spent night after night in Gaius Baltar's company, Ares had become rather bold with Gaius. And while Gaius was hardly the fathering type, he did bring the boy trinkets from the time to time, and he always spoke to him with genuine interest. So far, Aaron had regarded the boy with distant interest, but had done very little to make himself seem familiar.

"Well," Aaron lowered the paper bag onto the table, "the decision has been made. Gemenese cream pastry and fresh berries from our greenhouse on the baseship," he said. "Please, help yourselves."

Kendra brought plates over to he table, and then opened up the bag. After fixing a plate for Ares, and laying it down in front of him, she took a seat across from Aaron, who had opened up his briefcase and taken out a stack of paperwork.

"You were serious about this then," she noted, gesturing toward the paper. "Are we going to meet up here every day for work?"

"Do you think that will be a problem?"

"No," though for a moment she was disturbed by the flashing image from the dream she'd had the night before. She wasn't sure how she felt about having dreamed of him in such a peculiar position, and the phrase in the dream was equally bizarre. "It shouldn't be a problem."

"Good," he tapped the stack of papers on the table and laid them flat.

"Would you like me to make a pot of coffee?"

"Coffee would be perfect."

She rose from the table and bustled around the kitchen, making small talk while she prepared coffee. She set the sugar out for him and a mug, and while she waited for the water to boil she gave Ares another pile of berries to nibble on. He had already stuffed quite a few into his mouth. The pink juice stained his cheeks and pudgy little fingers when he squeezed them before popping them into his mouth.

"They have large appetites," Aaron said, and when Kendra turned around with the coffee, she noted again the curious way he studied her little boy. "Such small bodies."

"Ah, but they are always growing."

"While I was on Caprica, I was so concentrated on my mission that I didn't have much time to study the children," he admitted. "Ninety percent of my interactions there were with human adults. Strange that I wonder sometimes if I missed out in some way. Some of the others, mostly those who felt that we did humanity a grave injustice, they say sometimes that they felt the most conflict about destroying the childrens' future, but without all of the changes that have taken place since then, those children would have grown up to be exactly like their parents, nothing would have ever changed."

Kendra poured coffee into the mug in front of Aaron, and then into her own before sitting down. "Not all of humanity was so bad," she said.

"No," the word was tainted with unspoken question. "Anyway, without further ado, I have two projects here that I would greatly appreciate your feedback on."

She was taken aback by how quickly he'd changed the subject, as if the machine within had no time to dilly dally, cutting the momentary look into his person down before it could reveal too much. "Of course, though I don't know what I could possibly offer that someone with more experience wouldn't be better for."

"Your humanity is your experience," he said. "You, and the others like you, who have been gracious in their dealings with us have pushed progress in ways you couldn't begin to imagine. These apartments are only just the beginning of what will one day be a great city, but if a city is to survive, it needs sustainable resources. Which brings me to my first agenda."

He turned over a set of plans to her and said nothing as she looked them over. The statistics rolled right through her, most of them based on rainfall and temperature, soil samples and an estimate of current livestock and their basic needs. It wasn't until she was skimming over the final page that he said, "I've set up a meeting with the People's Agricultural Society There is a plot of land about forty miles west of here that once we have taken time to assess the important data, I feel would be perfect for a farming complex."

"It would provide more jobs for people," she noted. "And it would break up some of the monotony for those living here in New Caprica City. Branching off a little might do some good."

"How would you feel about being involved personally in such a project?" He asked.

"I know nothing about farming," she laughed, coiling her fingers around her coffee and lifting it to her lips. The warm steam tickled her nose just before she took a sip. "The extent of my green thumb was that Caprican Spider plant I had back in my apartment, and my husband said that the only reason that survived was because he was kind enough to water it for me."

"You wouldn't be alone," he said. "In fact, you would be more like a project overseer, and the actual farm work would be maintained by human and cylon alike."

"But why me?"

"It's an opportunity for a better life," he said. "For you, for your child. I don't need an answer today, but it is something for you to consider."

"I will think it through," she looked down at her coffee.

"I would like you to meet with the Agricultural Society with me," he said. "The meeting will be in two days, at 09:00 hours."

"Of course."

"Then it's settled," he reached across and took the papers from her. "Now, the other project I would like your thoughts on is slightly more critical. In conference with the other fives, we have come to the conclusion that we need some kind of military presence in the streets, something that will bond human and cylon across the board."

"But isn't it the military presence what is causing much of the uprising as it is? The people feel threatened by the Centurions." She lifted a pastry onto her plate.

"Yes," he said. "And that is why we surmised that we need a better plan. The centurions are intimidating, and a certain degree of intimidation is definitely warranted under current circumstances. But what if we were to create a human guard? A bridge between say centurions and us?"

"Hmm," she reached for the document that he had in his hand and started reading through the notes and statistics. On average, there were at least insurgent three attacks per day, and the severity of the attacks was only getting worse. The number of bombings had risen threefold in the last week, and there was no end in sight to the violence of the uprising. "A human military presence may work to sway those who are on the fence right now about the future of human and cylon relations, especially those who only go along with the insurgency because they are afraid they'll wind up as targets themselves."

"Exactly," he was pleased with her assessment, she could see it in the subtle raising of the tight corners of his mouth. It wasn't quite a smile, but there was definite admiration. "We already have plans to impose a curfew. Starting in three days, no one will be permitted to roam the streets after sundown without special papers."

"That's going to make a lot of people angry."

"Unfortunately, you're right, but it's a necessary precaution. With the people off the streets, our chances of cutting back on the number of uprisings increases more than half."

"I'm not sure what else you would want me to say, but I think a human military is a good idea. It will cut back on the number of Centurions in the streets, make the people themselves feel a little less powerless…"

"Your opinion has been incredibly useful to me," he said. "I would like you to help me draw up a proposal to present to others."

"I can do that."

The remainder of their breakfast meeting was spent working on the proposal while Ares played quietly on the floor behind them. From time to time Kendra noticed Aaron watching the little boy, his hazel eyes slightly squinted, his mouth drawn tight in curiosity.

It was just after lunch, and she just returned from putting Ares down for his nap to find Aaron packing the proposal they had put together into his briefcase. "See now," he looked up, snapping the clasps shut. "That wasn't so bad, was it? Much more relaxed than sitting in that stuffy room on Colonial One."

"We certainly seemed to get a lot more done."

"We did," he nodded.

"Aaron, I would like to go and see Tamlyn today," she said. "I am the only family she has and if I don't at least try to see her, she will never forgive me. I asked Davidia to come back at 13:00 hours to stay with Ares."

"Out of the question. It's too dangerous," he shook his head. "The streets are still tense after yesterday's riots. We took fifteen people in for questioning, wound up keeping five of them in detention. It would be foolish to risk another attack."

She pursed her lips tightly together and looked down at her hands, "But I have to go and see her. There has to be some way."

He drew in a deep breath, holding it for a moment, and then he exhaled. "I will see what I can do," he said. "A Centurion escort is only going to draw attention."

"What if I went by myself, no escort, no one else at all," she suggested. "I could blend in just like everyone else."

"I don't think so."

"Please," she softened her voice, surprised when she actually reached out and laid a pleading hand on his forearm. "I know she caused a lot of trouble, and I know that things are dangerous right now, but I need to see her, Aaron, please."

He regarded the position of her hand on his arm before lifting his eyes to meet with hers. Her touch could be interpreted any number of ways. He had made the same maneuver the night before when trying to convince her that locking herself away from the world would keep her safe. "I supposed I could see you there myself," he said.

"Thank you," she withdrew her hand from him. "It means so much to me."

"Then we will go together, without the Centurions, so as to remain as inconspicuous as possible. I will have them follow at a safe distance though, just in case."

Together. She could hardly imagine how his presence with her at the hospital would effect Tamlyn. Maybe he would wait for her outside. She'd broach the subject when they arrived, especially since convincing him had been so difficult in the first place. She didn't want to push her luck.

She went into her room and changed her clothes, pulled her hair back into a bun and moistened her lips with lip gloss while he waited for her in the kitchen. Davidia arrived while she was getting ready, the small, elderly woman keeping her distance from the cylon, while simultaneously doing whatever she could to appear pleasant.

"I don't know how long we'll be," she informed the woman. "Hopefully it won't be too long."

"You don't need to worry about me, Miss Kendra," Davida waved her off. "I will take good care of your boy."

"I'm not worried," she assured her. "I trust you."

Aaron was silent on the walk to the hospital, his brown slightly wrinkled as though the weight of the world sat on his mind. After an uneventful walk and just steps away from the hospital building (which was still under construction,) he said, "Do you not ever think that humans trust too easily?"

"I don't trust as often as I probably should," she said. "What makes you ask?"

"Nothing," he shrugged. "Only just that I feel I would have great difficulty leaving that which was most important to me in the care of others."

"You mean leaving Ares with a babysitter?"

"Precisely."

"Well, I haven't known her very long, but Davidia has always proven herself trustworthy in the past, and Ares seems to like her. She worked with a lot of the children on our ship's daycare before we settled on New Caprica."

"I see," though clearly he wasn't impressed with the woman's credentials.

The hospital building was abuzz with medical personnel and construction workers alike. The majority of the hospital personnel were cylon models, Sixes and Fours mostly, and an occasional Eight.

"Number Four," Aaron started toward the front desk where three Number Four models stood comparing notes on a patient. "Where can we find the human, Tamlyn Couran?"

"Good afternoon, Five," a Six cooed from behind the desk. "It's a rare treat to see one of your models here in the medical facility."

"Yes, well, I've brought a visitor for one of the humans."

"Tamlyn Couran," one of the Fours reached up to scratch behind his ear. "They brought her in yesterday with a self-inflicted wound."

"Yes, where can we find her?"

The Four looked to Kendra and then back at Aaron. He drew Aaron aside and after throwing another glance in Kendra's direction, he leaned in and started to whisper. Kendra had seen Aaron angry only twice, and she recognized the signs of his rage reddening his ears and flushing his cheeks. He nodded and said thank you, then walked toward Kendra, gripping the sleeve of her shirt in a motion that triggered her to fall into step beside him.

"We have a problem," he said.

"Oh no," there was a hollowness in the center of her that felt like the world had dropped out from under her. Tamlyn was dead.

"It would seem that your friend Tamlyn somehow managed to escape the facility last night, but not before killing two of our staff and fatally wounding a third."

"Oh my God," she stumbled a little, her legs feeling strange and weak beneath her.

"Her whereabouts are unknown at this time," he said. "But you can rest assured she will be found and taken in for murder. We need to get you back to your apartment where it's safe. She may try to contact you there and we can intercept her if she does."

The brisk walk back to the apartment complex was a blur. Kendra's mind swam through her memories of Tamlyn, the docile woman she'd met just after the attack on the Colonies. The most outspoken Kendra had ever seen her was one night in their ship's recreational facility. She'd gotten really drunk and picked a fight with a man who said something uncanny about the Aerilon Astros pyramid team. It had been the only time she'd ever seen the other woman step outside of her generally passive temperament… until recently.

"I can't believe this," she said. "She's become someone I don't even know anymore. I wonder now if I ever really knew her at all." The irony of that statement was not lost on her, her own secrets had kept her at arm's length with everyone she'd ever known.

"We will find her," he said.

"I just can't imagine her hurting someone else."

"It was cylons that she hurt," Aaron said. "I'm sure she didn't see them as people at all."

"I don't understand it," she climbed the stairs toward her apartment. "I've spent enough time among you these last weeks to honestly say that I feel the differences between us are few and far between."

"If only there were more like you."

They arrived at the top of the stairs to find the two Centurions Aaron himself had posted outside her door lay broken on the ground. The door of the apartment was a jar, and Kendra surged forward without thought, the fear trickling through her body like ice water.

"Kendra, wait," Aaron grabbed her arm with such force that had she not yielded instantly, the bones would have broken. Later she would have a bruise that "It may not be safe."

"But my son is in there."

"Stay behind me," he pushed her back and kicked the door open. He crept around the corner through the kitchen and she followed, her legs like rubber wobbling unsteady with every step she took.

She kept trying to tell herself that maybe it wasn't as bad as she was imagining. Maybe whoever it was was still inside and they could catch them before any real damage was done.

"Ares," she called out.

Aaron turned around to silence her, but even he knew there was no point. The apartment was empty, as they quickly discovered, and when they turned into the final room, the room Tamlyn had occupied for only two nights, the very real notion that her son was gone pushed her over the edge. Hysterical, she ran back into the kitchen looking for some sign, some evidence of where they might have gone, and then she rushed into the living room. His toys were still as he had left them that morning. Kendra lowered a trembling hand down to retrieve the tattered blanket that he had carried with him everywhere since he was six months old.

"Oh my god," she felt strange, as though all of the blood had been drained from her body and it would only be a matter of seconds before she collapsed. "Oh my god," she whispered through tingling lips. "She took my… she took my son."

She backed into the sofa, her body nearly collapsing on impulse. Aaron came toward her and knelt on the floor in front of her, "I will find him."

"I want to come with you."

"No," he shook his head. "You need to stay here. I am calling for reinforcement guards and I am going out myself to find her. I will bring your little boy back to you."

"I have to be there, please, you don't understand."

"You need to stay here," he said. "In case they come back looking for you. Listen to me, I will find your son and bring him back to you."

"He is all I have. He's everything to me. She knows that…"

"So do I," the hand he laid over her arm felt strange, but comfortable. "I will be back and I will have him with me."

"Please, hurry," tears dropped down her face, momentarily blurring the image of him kneeling before her.

The Centurion guard arrived and Aaron left. Kendra thought she would go stir-crazy inside the apartment, pacing the floors and jumping toward the door at every sound that came from outside. When a knock rose at the door, she opened it quickly and was actually disappointed to see that it was only Leoben on the other side, and not Aaron with Ares.

"I heard that your son was taken," there was genuine concern in his eyes. "What can I do for you?"

"Find him?" she threw up her arms and tried to hold back from unleashing the hysterics within.

"Doral has a whole search team out right now. Fifty men, maybe more." he said. "They'll find him. I promise you."

"If anything happens to him…" she shook her head and turned away. "I will never forgive myself. He was a gift from God, and I just let them take him."

"Doral isn't going to let anything happen to your son," Leoben said. "Look inside your heart. You know that she would never do anything to hurt him. You're the one she wants to hurt. She knows how much losing him to her would devastate you."

"I should have stayed here… We were only gone for twenty minutes, but she knew I would go to see her. She played me the whole time."

"You can't change the past, Kendra, you can only learn from it." he said. "Why don't you sit down, let me make you some tea."

"I don't want any tea."

"You might change your mind."

She continued pacing while he moved about her kitchen as though it were his own. The tea-kettle clicked under fire, the water within hissing as it worked up to a full boil. It was strange how he anticipated her movements, setting a mug of tea down just as she collapsed into one of the chairs at the table.

"I know that you're afraid, Kendra," he pulled out the chair beside her and sat down. "I know that he is all you have left of the one you lost. A subtle reminder you require every waking moment of every day, but one day you won't have to look at him to remember what you lost. That emptiness you feel inside of you will be filled again."

Tears flooded across her lenses again, making her vision crisp once she blinked. That moment of clarity was as confusing as it had been the day before. She wanted his comfort, to feel his arms around her, the rough brush of his unshaven cheek as he leaned down to whisper, "Everything will be all right."

"That feels impossible," she shook her head.

"Do you trust me, Kendra?" Leoben lifted his hand toward her face, brushed away the tears with his thumb

She reached up and touched his arm, curled her fingers around his wrist and for a long time they just sat there. She thought about trust. The question he asked was reminiscent of the conversation she'd had with Aaron on the walk to the medical facility. She had trusted Davidia, had trusted Tamlyn, only to discover that she hadn't really known ether woman at all. She had trusted Leoben once too, with all her life, and she had discovered that he wasn't what she really thought he was, but he hadn't lied to her. He hadn't even known who or what he was himself.

"I trust you more than I should."

"I have seen the patterns, and I know that this is only a trial. A test of your faith." he said. "It is one of many to come, but you will triumph them all. We will overcome them together." His hand still cupped her face, and she pressed closer into his palm to savor the comfort of his touch.

"Leoben, do you know who I am?"

He shook his head twice and said, "I know only that you're a part of me, just as I am part of you."

The tears streamed down her face like slow rivers, and her throat ached with agony. She had never been more relieved and more afraid in all her life than she was in that moment, but somehow she was convinced that everything, as Leoben had promised, would be okay.


	13. Chapter 13

Leoben took care of everything for her that afternoon. Kendra tried to refuse eating, but he convinced her that once her little boy was home again she would need all her strength. She sat at the table in silence, pushing the food around on her plate until it was cold and nearly inedible. She excused herself and went back into the living room. For a long time she stood at the window staring out into the grey twilight. From time to time the red sensors of the Centurion patrol lit up the courtyard, the thunk and hiss of their mechanical movement a consistent reminder of the world outside.

Leoben arrived behind her, his body so close to her that she could almost feel him. She closed her eyes and tried to ignore the chills that rippled up her spine, but when his hand closed over her shoulder they became impossible to ignore.

"They will find him," he said. "Even now, they are close."

"He's probably so scared."

She held his blanket in her hand, rolled her fingers over the fabric, played with the small beads of deterioration from the wash. "It does no good for you to watch out the window." The hand on her shoulder guided her away, toward the sofa, where he encouraged her to sit down. He sat on the sofa beside her and regarded the fabric in her hands. He reached over then and covered her hand with both of his.

"I keep waiting for him to come running out of the bedroom to surprise me," she looked down at their hands together. How large his were in comparison to her own, yet how perfectly they fit together. He used to hold her hand against his in the dark and marvel at the difference in their size, and yet everything about them fit together like the pieces of a puzzle. She wondered if it would feel the same making love with a genetically perfect specimen of him, an exact replica. She wanted to believe that falling into bed with him would be like sliding back in time to that amazing place where being tangled together in the heat of the moment was all that mattered. But nothing could be so easy. It never was.

"He's never been away from me so long," she admitted, her aching voice catching in the back of her throat. "Living on the ships his entire life, he went with me almost everywhere."

As if in tune with her needs, Leoben lowered a tentative arm over her shoulders. When she didn't react as he feared, he drew her close to his chest, and she laid her head down. Eyes closed and in that state of mind, she could almost believe that things were as they should have been all along. That Leoben had always been there, that the last four years of her life had been a bad dream, but the nightmare she was going through was hers and hers alone. He had no connection to the child, even as he should have.

He lowered his chin atop her head and drew his other arm around her, cocooning her safely against him. At some pint she fell into a troubled sleep and Leoben laid her down on the sofa. He covered her with a blanket she had thrown over the back of the chair, the gesture rousing her just long enough for her to find him looking down at her with thoughtful eyes. From time to time she would stir and lift her head to find him pacing the floor or staring out the window into the night. She didn't dream, but from time to time it felt as though she had shut down completely, dwelling in such a deep place, so as not to be recovered again. That was where she was when the entourage Fives entered her apartment, accompanied by a Six.

She woke to the sound of his small voice, his little hand reaching out the gently shake her shoulder, "Mama, wake up."

She blinked slowly, her heavy eyelids and the amount of crying she had done throughout the day making her vision blurry. It took several blinks to clear away the blur, and then she saw his face. Leoben knelt on the floor beside her and gently shook her awake, Ares stood beside him watching his mother sleep with eyes almost the exact color of the man who knelt beside him.

"Ares," she sat up quickly and drew him into her arms, holding so tight that he squirmed a little to loosen her grip. "Oh my god, Ares, I was so worried about you," she said. "I was so scared that something bad was going to happen to you." She kissed his forehead and his cheeks, holding him out to look at him and then squeezing him tight again. "I'm so happy to see you, I'm so happy you're home."

She finally looked up to see three of the Five models and the Six standing in the walkway between the kitchen and the living room. The Six had tilted her head thoughtfully, an emotional smile drawing at the corners of her mouth.

"Thank you for bringing him home to me," Kendra said. "I felt so lost without him."

"We were instructed not to rest until we found him," the Six said.

"Where did you find him?"

"About seventy miles from the city," said the Five in the middle.

"They stole one of our fuel trucks and were headed into the countryside," the Five to the left said.

"The one who took your child is dead," the middle Five explained. "The other woman is in custody, along with three others who obviously collaborated with them."

"Thank you for finding my baby, Aaron."

The Fives regarded one another, and then turned their full attention to her. "Aaron was shot and killed just after he retrieved your son from the insurgents. He was caught in the crossfire and is downloading into a new body as we speak."

"Oh my…" Kendra shook her head and lowered her face into her son's neck. Tamlyn was dead, Aaron had been killed, Davidia was in custody. "When can I see him? I want to thank him. He's done so much for us."

"It could be as early as tomorrow morning," the Six said. "But then, it could take longer. Sometimes the adjustment is difficult, especially if you've never downloaded into a body before."

Leoben, who still knelt on the floor beside her, explained, "It was his first download."

"Will he be all right?"

"Oh, he'll be fine, I'm sure," the Six offered a reassuring smile. "In the meantime, don't you worry about anything. We're happy to have been able to help you get your son back."

"I'm never letting you out of my sight again, Mister," she told the boy. "Not even when you're a grown up, do you hear me?"

"We should be going," one of the Fives announced. "If you need anything else ma'am…"

"Don't worry, I will take care of things here," Leoben told them. "If anything strange occurs, I will report it immediately."

"Very well," they all four started toward the door with only the Six looking back at the three of them before she followed the others out the door.

"Look at you," Kendra held Ares out from her chest and inspected him. "Are you okay? Did you get hurt?"

He held up his finger, "I got hurt."

There was only a small scratch down the length of his finger, pink and irritated, but she drew it to her lips and kissed it. "My poor baby. And you're all filthy. Let's get you a bath before we tuck you into bed."

It was late when she finally got him to fall asleep, and she stood above the crib just watching him sleep, her hand hung over the railing, her fingers caressing the feathery, golden locks of his hair. She hadn't heard Leoben come into the room and the presence of his body behind her startled her. Her quick reaction caused her to back into him, and he braced her shoulders in his hands to steady her.

"Shh," he spoke in hushed tones. "It's only me. I wanted to check and make sure everything was all right."

"He's fine," she turned her gaze over her shoulder. "He's been asleep for awhile now, I just couldn't take my eyes off of him."

"He's safe now," he said.

"I know," her whisper caught on an emotional snag at the back of her throat that caused her to close her eyes and steady her mind before she went on. She withdrew from the side of his crib and started toward the door, Leoben following. "I just never want to ever go through anything like that again," she said, once they were out in the hallway.

"Even as we always knew it to be so, I never wanted to believe that humankind was so self-destructive, so full of sin. I had such high hopes for our endeavor here," he admitted once they were in the living room again. "If we are the enemy, why do they destroy their fellow man?"

"Man isn't happy without an enemy," she sat down on the sofa and he sat beside her. There was space between them, enough that she could put her hand down and still not touch him. She wanted to touch him though, now more than ever that Ares was safe and asleep just feet away in the other room. "When there isn't one to focus on, he turns on himself."

"Like a cancer."

They were silent for a long time, several minutes passing with nothing but the distant march of the Centurions in the streets below. She looked over her right shoulder at his profile. From the point of his widows peak down the slope of his nose, over the curve of his lips… the dimple that indented his left cheek. It was uncanny how familiar it all was. How many nights had she lain awake and memorized every detail in that face, all the way down to the mole on his neck.

"I'll be glad when today is over," she looked away from him. "It's been such a nightmare. Thank you for being here with me today. I know I wasn't as appreciative then as I should have been, but I don't know how I would have gotten through today without you."

"You needed me today, and I couldn't imagine myself being anywhere else."

"Thank you," she said again. "It used to be that Tamlyn was the one I turned to when things went south, but I never thought she would be the cause of so much sadness in my life. I can't believe she's dead."

"Does losing her this way make you regret any of the choices you've made?"

"No," she looked over at him. The choices she had made had been beneficial to her son, she still believed that despite all that had happened. "In fact, it's helped me make an important decision I was on the fence about this morning when Aaron proposed the idea. We are planning to raise a farming complex on a plot of land west of here. Aaron asked me this morning if I would oversee one of the farms. At this point, I will do anything to get out of this city."

"To be closer to he earth is to be closer to God," Leoben said. "I would like very much to come along."

"I would like for you to come," she admitted. It was hard to avoid looking at him, but she was afraid that if she fell into the trap of those incredible eyes, she might say something she would regret later. Truths she swore she'd never speak again might come flooding out and there would be no way to stop them.

His hand, however, reached out and turned her face back to his. He was closer than he'd been when she looked away, his eyes demanding her focus, his nose just a hair away from touching the tip of her own, and when he moved in to kiss her, she had been expecting it. She knew exactly how to react to it, what to expect. It was like being struck by lightning. The intensity of his kiss was everything she remembered, and when he tangled his fingers into the loose strands of her hair to draw her closer, she gasped and felt him grin against her mouth.

His mouth moved across her check, into the curve of her neck, toward her ear, where he whispered, "I haven't been able to stop dreaming about you, Kendra."

"You dream about me?"

"Every time I close my eyes, there you are. Like we knew each other in another life, another time. I've smelled you before," he lowered his face into her hair and took a breath of her. "I memorized your face in the dark, but when I reach out to try and grab the moment it's gone."

"Then you do know me," she lifted her hand to his cheek and leaned back to look at him. "I didn't think it was possible."

"I am supposed to know you," there was question in his voice, as though it was the dream talking and he didn't want to believe it. "I feel it inside of me, an emptiness that hinges on fulfillment when I'm near you."

"On Caprica," she said. "God, I don't know if I can tell you this. What if I'm wrong?"

"Can you take that chance, Kendra?"

"What if I'm wrong?"

"You asked me if I knew who you were, and all I know is that you are a part of me. You're supposed to be a part of me, and I dream about you. Your face… it's too familiar, the sound of your voice and your body," he looked down over her before returning his eyes to hers. "I know that I could own your body in ways that no other has."

"You always did," she said.

"Then it should be me asking if you know who _I_ am."

"I do know who you are," she said. "The husband I told you about, the one who told me about the One God… the one who was killed just before the attack on the Twelve Colonies…"

There was fear in his eyes, the strength of it matched the terror she felt to be revealing her secret. She had told no one, no one but Gaius knew, no one but the Leoben she had come face to face with on the Gemenon Traveler. What if it was a mistake? What if it was a trap? That Leoben playing some twisted mind-frak to see how far he could get her to go, but then the fear in his eyes was so tender and real that she couldn't stop the words from escaping her. He needed to know.

"His name was Leoben Conoy. He was a Colonial Civil Intelligence officer. He was a cylon."

Leoben swallowed and leaned away from her, shaking his head, "But I don't remember it." He lifted a hand to his temple, brow wrinkled in confusion so deep it felt like pain.

"You said you dream of me," she reminded him. "You said that you know my voice and my body…"

"I do," his eyes haunted, he looked into her face in search of truth. "Fragments of you, outlines, but nothing I can grasp onto." His voice trailed off on the last three words, as though he were searching every thought, every memory for something solid he could reference. "Why don't I remember it?"

"I don't know," she reached out to touch his face. "I know that there are thousands of copies, thousands of men who look exactly like you, but destiny has brought us together again. Leoben…"

"Yes, it is destiny," he lifted a finger to trace the curve of her cheek and then took her by surprise, rushing in to taste her kiss.

Within a matter of seconds his strong hands lifted to draw her body across the space between them so that she straddled his lap. She looked down on him from above, his hands moving slowly up the length of her spine. She arched into his touch as he lifted her sweater over her head and dropped it beside the sofa. Mouths moved together in desperation, tongues danced a re-inspired waltz, once familiar, but in need of restoration. Fingers struggled against buttons and restraints until finally he lifted her against him to stand, and then lowered her onto the floor beneath him.

She reached for the button on his slacks, as he lifted his own shirt up over his head and tossed it aside.

He held her stare in his own, eyes the brooding continence of a storm at sea, flecks of white against the grey and green. As she smoothed her palm over the warm skin of his stomach, she felt gooseflesh rise to meet her touch. He lowered himself slowly into her kiss again, and then whispered in her ear, "I've been here before."

"Then you know what to do," she said.

As his body claimed hers, she bit down on her lower lip so hard that she tasted blood. Her eyes stung with tears of disbelief and wonder, and it took everything inside of her to keep from crying out loud to the world that at long last all of her nightmares had come to an end. Her body reacted brilliantly to his, compensating every stroke and countering it perfectly. The familiar heat and sound of his breath against her skin provoked chills of excitement and bliss. She had never dreamed that she would feel him again, know his body the way she once had, and yet there he was above her, their hands clasped together so tight above her head that her fingers ached, but she never wanted to let go.

"Never let me go," she cried into his shoulder. "Never let me go again."

"Never," he promised.

In the early, quiet hours of morning she lay curled in his arms, exhausted but completely sated. They had made love again and again, as though they might actually reclaim the lost years and shattered memories. "I don't understand how I could forget, not with the memory of you lingering just there at the edge of my consciousness." He hovered over her, leaned down to kiss her forehead, his finger tracing loose patterns along the naked curve of her hip.

"Is it possible that the memories were lost when your consciousness downloaded into a new body?"

He shook his head, "They shouldn't have been.," he said. "Unless they were tampered with, or there was an emergency data purge. Tell me again what happened to me."

"We were at the lake for the afternoon. You took me there because you had a surprise for me. Tickets for the two of us to take a luxury cruise dated just around the time of the attacks. It was cold, the wind was biting and we decided to go home. We gathered our things and were walking toward the parking lot… I don't know where they came from, I never saw a face, but gunshots rang out and the next thing I knew I was on the ground holding you in my arms."

"That is strange," he rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling.

"The Six," Kendra said, "the one called Caprica, she told me that you never knew what you were, that you were a sleeper and that your awareness of your nature didn't return until after you downloaded. Maybe that's why you don't remember. Maybe you were programmed to forget."

"No," he shook his head. "It doesn't work that way, unless there was something they wanted me to forget… but what?" After a long silence, he asked, "Caprica Six knows about us? About you and me?"

Kendra nodded, "She spoke to me very briefly during an interrogation the day the cylons landed here on New Caprica. She said that you never knew you were one of them until… until… I don't remember what she said after that."

"Then we can tell absolutely no one about this," he said. "Not about the past, not until I find out what really happened to those memories." He sat up and stretched the muscles in his back. She studied his shadow for a long time, remembering how they had once watched each other's shadows in the strange light from the video rental just outside their apartment.

"Leoben," she laid her hand along the curve of his spine. "He's your son, you know."

He looked back over his shoulder at her, but it was dark and she couldn't make out his expression. "My son?"

"Ares is your son," she said. "I found out just after the attacks that I was pregnant. He's the only thing that kept me alive after I lost you."

"My son," he said the words again as though he were trying to process them, make sense of them and then he turned back toward her. He lowered a hand to her face, and through the dim light from the watchtower outside, she could clearly see his eyes. "We can tell no one about this, Kendra. No one at all can know what we know, now more than ever. There is a reason they didn't want me to remember you, and if they find out about him, it could put him in grave danger."

"You're sure they're hiding something from you?"

"Why else wouldn't I remember? Why would they kill me?"

"There is one who knows," she said. "Gaius Baltar, he knows that Ares is your son."

"Gaius Baltar can't be trusted. What will it take to buy his silence?"

"He's just as afraid of being found out himself. His affair with Caprica is my secret alone. He gave her direct access and practically held her hand while she toyed with the defense mainframe, and I know that."

"But is that enough to keep his silence?"

"Gaius Baltar will do anything to ensure his own preservation," she explained. "As long as he doesn't feel threatened that I'm going to tell his secret, my secret is safe."

"Say nothing then. Not unless it becomes necessary." he said. "In the meantime, you're right. You need to take Ares and get as far as you can away from here. Follow Aaron Doral into the country."

"What about you? You're coming too, right?"

"Kendra, I have to get to the bottom of this lapse in memory," he said. "I need to go to the hub and scan through the databases, see if I can find the lost data or at least some reason that it's missing from my memory."

"Leoben, you can't leave me again, not now," she gripped his forearm, her frail grasp barely enough to hold him in place, and she knew it.

"I'm not leaving you, Kendra," he promised. "Not ever again, but something isn't right about what happened to me. I need to get to the bottom of this, otherwise I fear we will all be in danger."

"You promised me once that we were going to live and die together," she said. "I've already lived without you. I don't want to do it again."

"You won't have to," he lowered his mouth over hers to seal his promise with a kiss.


	14. Chapter 14

The original meeting with the agricultural society was postponed for nearly a week, and during that week Kendra did not see Aaron Doral. It was as though he was avoiding her for some reason, instead sending others, including Felix Gaeta over with minor tasks to keep her busy. From time to time she looked out her bedroom window after Leoben had gone for the day, toward Colonial One, and watched the people bustle below like ants. She saw Fives and Threes, Sixes and Eights, there were even Ones and Fours and the occasional Two, but from the distance she couldn't tell if one of those Fives was Aaron because all of the Fives looked exactly the same. Kendra couldn't understand why Aaron was avoiding her, but she felt sure inside that he was.

"He isn't avoiding you," Leoben said. "It isn't in his nature to avoid. He's just busy and it's been a hectic week, under the circumstances."

"No, I can feel it," she insisted. "He's avoiding me. I just wish I knew why."

"Don't let it get to you, Kendra," he reached over and ducked her under the chin, the offer of his smile enough to placate her for the moment.

As soon as he was gone, however, she felt more and more like a prisoner than ever, with no sign of her jailer or news of freedom to come. Without much work to keep her busy, she wiled the hours away playing with Ares. While he napped, she returned to the window and watched the world outside. She watched birds sore in on the worksite behind the apartment building searching for any scraps of food that might have been discarded or forgotten.

Daytime loneliness was a small price to pay, she decided. Leoben hardly left her side once the sun went down, the three of them sitting down every night to have dinner together like a real family. She could almost forget the agony of those lost years without him, but the scar of lost memory was a burden Leoben couldn't live with. His days spent searching for answers, the nights were marred by constant questions as he begged her to tell him everything again and again.

She welcomed the thought of company when a knock rose on her door early one morning, and opened it in hopes of finding Aaron on the other side. Instead, Felix Gaeta stood with a heavy satchel over one shoulder and a tight-lipped scowl as he scanned the hallway before peering into the apartment once she opened the door.

"So it is true," he remarked. "You are still alive, though the rumors suggested otherwise."

"Alive and well up here in my tower," she sighed. "Come on in, Felix. It's good to see you."

He slipped through the opening, his dark eyes roving over the kitchen. "So this is how the other half lives."

"Like a prisoner until Aaron Doral sees fit to unleash me on society again," she looked him over, actually happy to have another face to look at. "I haven't been outside, since the kidnapping," she said. "I would welcome the fresh air gladly."

"Some of us had serious doubts that you were even still alive," he noted. "After the riots when you just disappeared, there was talk…"

"I'm sure," she shook her head. "You should apply for an apartment in the building behind this one. It should be completed by the end of the week, and it would be nice to have a familiar face around from time to time."

"Yeah, I don't think I could stomach living like this, guarded day and night like some kind of prisoner, Centurions stacked outside my door. Is it really worth it, Kendra?"

"It isn't so bad," she scanned his expression, slightly guilty inside once she noted the underlying disgust he was doing everything in his power to hide. "Running water, electricity… It's reminiscent of home sweet home, minus the never ending darkness and stars beyond the windows."

"I have some things I need to take care of later this afternoon, so I may be back later than usual. If it gets too late, start dinner without me." Leoben came into the kitchen carrying Ares on his back, the two of them still laughing over some playful moment left behind them in the other room. "Oh," he looked up at Felix and smiled, drawing the little boy on his back around to hold him against his chest. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize we had company."

"Felix was just dropping by, no doubt with a stack of busy work from Aaron Doral," she explained. "You did bring work, right?"

"Oh, yes," it took everything in Felix 0to tear his eyes away from the cylon in front of him to remove the satchel from his shoulder and open it up. "He wants you to revise the proposal for the agricultural board. The meeting has been postponed until next Monday. He's made notes throughout the document. He has also come up with a proposal for improvements to the electrical grid that he wants you to proof for him. He'd like you to write down thoughts, suggestions, any notes. He said you can have one of the Centurions return them this afternoon."

"Where is Aaron? He was bringing this stuff over himself last week, and I haven't seen him since."

"He's been busy," Felix shrugged. "I haven't seen much of him myself."

"I told you he was busy," Leoben nudged her.

"Well, tell him I asked after him," she said.

"Right," Felix nodded. "Anyway, I should be going. I have a lot of work to do myself today."

"Thank you for bringing this by," she lifted the stack of paperwork. "It'll give me something to do today as well, besides watching the Centurions patrol the streets from my bedroom window."

After Felix had gone, Leoben followed Kendra toward the table, still carrying Ares with him, "He seemed disturbed to see me here."

"He's been rather self-righteous since I met him," she shrugged. "I wouldn't be surprised if he was somehow involved in the insurgency, like some underground movement."

"Hmm," Leoben leaned back. "Maybe someone should keep a closer eye on him."

"Maybe."

"I'm going now," he held Ares out for her, and she took him into her arms. Leoben leaned in to kiss her, his lips lingering against hers, one hand trailing down the line of her cheek before dropping to his side as he drew away.

Even Ares seemed to feel as if the apartment was empty when Leoben was gone. He stood at the window sometimes watching the world outside, looking for the man he had grown to look up to in ways he had never done before. It had been less than a week, but Leoben didn't want to miss another moment of the life he'd been forced to leave behind nearly four years earlier.

While Ares played, she sat down and went over Aaron's notes, still perplexed that he had yet to come and see her after going out of his way to save her son. He had died to ensure Ares' safety, and she knew thank you was a feeble gesture in light of the severity of what he'd done, but she wanted to say it nonetheless.

The residue of strange dreams that had haunted her sleep before Leoben had returned to her bed still made her feel weird. There was no mistaking the imagery, making love to Leoben, only to look and see Aaron Doral above her. She could still hear him asking, "Would you say that love was powerful enough that you would die for me?"

It still didn't make sense to her, no matter how she looked at it. There was a vague recollection of conversation, her mentioning that she would lay down her own life for Ares if it came down to it. He didn't understand himself how love could be so powerful a force that it could draw determine whether or not a person wanted to live or die. Ironically, just twenty-four hours later, Aaron Doral laid down his own life for her son, a little boy he had barely even made eye contact with during either of his visits to the apartment.

She didn't know what to think, and there was no visible sign of conflict in his perfectly penned margin notes. She went through all of the paperwork and revised everything while Ares was napping. She was just finishing the task when Gaius arrived to check up on her.

"Actually, I needed to get out of that frakking nuthouse," he admitted. "And I've been worried about you ever since you were tucked away up here in your little apartment. On top of the news about your little boy being kidnapped, I've been completely distressed thinking of you."

"It was quite a nightmare," she admitted, pouring him a cup of coffee.

"The fact that it was someone you thought you knew so well," he shook his head, the long tendrils of his brown hair falling across his cheek. He reached up to tuck it behind his ear, adding, "It's like the whole human race has spun completely out of control."

"Well, I'm just happy that he's home now, and I'm never letting him out of my sight again, not as long as I live."

"Nevertheless, it's a wonder you haven't lost your mind with everything you've been through these last few days. It's a wonder we haven't all lost our frakking minds."

"Hear, hear," she lifted her coffee mug.

"The insurgency is out of control, you know, and the cylons… I hardly know what they want from me from day to day. Not as though what I want matters to anyone. They want to create a human police force, get them patrolling the streets."

"Aaron told me," she said. "I think it's a good idea."

"You do?"

"The Centurions are a big part of the problem," she pointed out. "People are terrified of them, and you know what happens when you back an animal into a corner…"

"You get a full blown rebellion," he sighed. "I tell you, I feel like a puppet and my arms are tired from being stretched this way and that to accommodate everything and every one."

"What more can you do?"

"Apparently, there's a whole world of people out there with advice on what more I could do, starting by single-handedly taking on every cylon ever bloody created and ending with universal healthcare and workers' compensation, and all of this to be done before the weekend."

"Being president is a tough job," she raised her eyebrows.

"Yes, well, I'm doing a much better job than that self-righteous schoolmarm ever did," he said. "If it were up to her, we'd be on some wild-goose chase in search of mythological gods and pretend planets. At least here we have fresh air and clean water here."

"Do you ever wonder if Roslin would have surrendered to the cylons?"

"Roslin?" He widened his eyes, the sarcasm evident in his voice, "And lower herself to a position of servitude? She wouldn't have been caught dead surrendering. She would have fought them all, one by one to the death, I'm sure."

"Well, if it's any consolation, I still think you did the right thing in surrendering. Good things have come out of it."

A wan smile flashed across his lips, "Thank you, Kendra. It's nice to know that in this small world of ours, at least one person doesn't want to string me up for listening to reason."

"If you had fought them, we would all be dead now," she said.

"My sentiments exactly, and frankly, I can think of at least a million things I'd rather be than dead." He turned his coffee cup in circles on the tale, not looking directly at her when he said, "Which brings me to my next order of business. Your friend, Leoben that I saw when I came last week, Kendra… I know that we always agreed that whatever happened between us was just water under the bridge, but that doesn't mean I don't care for you at all. Please tell me that you haven't gone and gotten yourself involved with him."

"Gaius, please don't."

"I know it must be hard on you, but he is not the man you married, Kendra. He's a copy."

"I know the difference," she gazed down into the black pool of coffee in the mug she held. "I know what I'm doing, and I am not going to let myself be carried away by a past I can't resurrect."

It had already carried her away, though, he need not know that. Night after night Leoben tangled her in his arms, reliving the bliss of the love they'd once known and creating new memories. He had unearthed nothing about the lost memories so far, but instead kept her up late into the early hours of the morning, begging her to retell the details of the life they'd once shared. He told her that he could almost see it, could almost grab a hold of the moments, but they slipped through his fingers like water.

"Whether it carries you away or not, it is still a dangerous game to play," Gaius interrupted her thoughts. "I implore you to think of the devastation you suffered the first time around and ask yourself whether you want to endure that kind of agony again."

"You've been spending a lot of time with Caprica Six, haven't you?"

"We aren't talking about me," he said. "We're talking about you."

Kendra didn't have the guts to tell him the truth, and Leoben's warning that they must tell no one the truth echoed clearly in the back of her mind. "At least you know that she still loves you," she said. "After all, she died to save you."

"Yes, well," he looked guiltily away from her. "There isn't a moment she has allowed me forget that fact since it occurred. Like a ghost, haunting me night and day. She says she loves me, but how do I know it isn't another trick?"

She felt for him, felt slivers of her own apprehension trickle like cold water down the base of her spine. She knew that it would be easy for Leoben to lie to her, to play upon her need for him and create false memories just to please her. He had plenty of motive, including the knowledge of her son, but she refused to let doubt cloud her judgment. Destiny had brought them back together again, and this time she wasn't about to let him go so easily.

"You can't know," she shook her head. "You can only know what your heart tells you, but we both know you tuned out the sound of that voice years ago."

"I resent that remark," he rolled his eyes. "But either way, I can't turn away from her no matter how I try. She's like a drug." He started to push his chair away from the table, "I only ask that you be careful, lest you wind up with the same sort of unhealthy addiction I know all too well."

It was too late for that, she supposed. In fact, after he had left she tried to reason with herself that she wasn't just addicted to the notion of her long dead husband back from the grave simply missing a few shattered memories. She wasn't addicted because it was real, what they had was real, and she was one of the lucky ones.

And that night while he lay sleeping on his back beside her, Kendra sat in the dark watching him sleep. In the world she'd grown up in, there were no second chances, but there she was on her second chance. She traced her finger along the angle of his jaw, the gesture rousing him from the brink of unconsciousness.

"You should be asleep," he didn't open his eyes, but stretched the muscles in his jaw as he yawned.

He had fallen asleep with his hands folded over his chest. He'd always slept that way, and seeing it only confirmed what she already knew. She lowered her hand onto his and said, "I was just watching you sleep. Something we used to do," she admitted. "So in love that we wanted to savor every moment. I used to feel like it was too good to be true, and then it turned out that it was."

"But we've been given a second chance," he said, unclasping his hands and reaching out to draw her into his arms. "Destiny brought us back together, and as long as we both live, we will never be without each other."

"You used to promise me that we would die together," she said, laughing just a little.

"And this time we will," he said.

She nestled herself into the crook of his arm and closed her eyes. Head rested on his chest, she listened to the constant rhythm of his heart, like a metronome ticking away the minutes. Every beat carried her further away from the moment, from the dark into a place where an incredible sun beat down upon her.

_Eyes closed, she lifted her face toward the sky, felt the intense heat on her skin and listened to the wind rustling through the leaves above. She opened her eyes, squinting at first against the brilliant sunlight, and then turned to look over her shoulder._

_Leoben was laying on his side on the blanket, flipping through the pages of a book behind her. Golden hair shining in the sun, he tilted his sunglasses down to look at her, the green in his eyes so intense in the daylight. He grinned, and then tilted his head back to soak in the sun. Fuel trails left white lines across the sky and the distant roar of a transport ship docking at the airport sounded like it was a million miles away. There was a dog barking somewhere, the voices of other couples out enjoying the warmth of a perfect spring afternoon. Kendra scanned the park, the faces, and stopped for a moment at the sight of someone familiar. _

_There were benches along the lake, and a father and his little girl sat on one of them throwing bread crumbs in at the ducks. Ten feet away was a second bench, a lone figure sat on the side staring in her direction. For a moment, their eyes locked and she knew felt sure that she would recognize those eyes anywhere, but then Leoben said, "It's the perfect day for this," and she drew her gaze back to meet with his. "It's the kind of day that makes you grateful you're alive and a part of it all." _

_Somewhere she heard a child's laughter as the moment moved quickly through the motions. He had given her a gift, was taking her away, and the excitement of the moment drew him close to her. Young lovers, so wrapped up in one another they almost forgot where they were, but then he remembered his place and decided it was time to take her home. Hand in hand, they started toward the parking lot together. Every step was another smile, another giddy exchange of the bliss between them, and that was when the shots rang out. They were so close her ears rang with the sound, and then she was kneeling on the ground with him in her arms. The child's laughter had turned to screams, or maybe that was her own shrieking. She looked up through tear-blurred eyes, frantically searching the brilliant afternoon for a helpful face, for some sign that things were going to be okay._

_On the bench in the distance, the familiar face watched, waited until her eyes met with his again, and then the man got up and started to walk away. He looked back over her shoulder once, his hazel eyes locking on her stare in a moment of stopped time._

She gasped awake, as though she'd been holding her breath underwater only to find Leoben's hands on her, trying to shake her awake. "He was there," she said. "I saw him there."

"Shh," he drew her into his arms. "It was just a dream. It was just a dream."

"No, he watched you die. I saw him."

"Shh, it's all right," he lowered a kiss to the top of her head. "You're all right. I'm here now. It was just a dream."

Every passing second of silence, while he rocked her against his chest carried the thread of that dream further and further from her awareness until her lids grew heavy once again and she fell into a dreamless sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

It was all starting to feel too comfortable, and though Leoben promised Kendra that her inner-skeptic had nothing to worry about, there was a nagging sensation in the back of her mind that made it impossible for her to relax. Part of that discomfort came from the continued distance Aaron Doral had put between Kendra and himself, with more than three weeks having passed since he had knelt before her and promised that he would bring he son back to her.

The insurgency had only grown more violent in that three weeks in response to a temple bombing that had killed four people, and the people were none too thrilled about the idea of the New Caprica Police. Fliers had gone up all over the city, or so Leoben said, and so far the response to training had been greater than they had originally anticipated. Aaron Doral was busy, at least that was what Gaeta continually fed her whenever he arrived at the apartment with more work for her to do.

Doral's meeting with the Agricultural Society had gone off without her, and even as she stood staring out the window watching the sun rise up over the completed apartment complex behind her building, she couldn't help but feeling like there was something darker and more sinister going on. Even Leoben had stopped arguing with her that Aaron was avoiding her, and more primarily steered her away from the subject altogether.

"Maybe something in him has changed," Leoben had said two days earlier. "You have no idea the things that happen to you after you've died, the agony of downloading into another body. You're never the same as you were before."

"Maybe," she said.

"Besides, the less people we have snooping around over here, the safer we are," Leoben pointed out. "There is no way we could have spent as much time together as we have these last few weeks if Doral was over here poking around in our business."

"You're right," she agreed. "I am making too much of it, it's just that I really thought that Aaron and I were becoming friends, and he did save Ares' life. I feel like I owe him."

"I know," he massaged her shoulders from behind, smoothing away the tension. "Look, I have to go away for a few days. I'll be leaving two days from now for the base ship."

"No," she leaned back against him and turned her face toward his.

"Kendra, I have to go," he insisted. "I want nothing more than to spend the rest of our days together, but I want it to be right. I want those memories back, and I've come up against dead end after dead end, but maybe if I sit down with the hybrid, maybe she can help me. She speaks the word of God," he said. "Sees patterns that I cannot see."

"Do you really think she can help you?"

"The patterns seem to suggest it."

"How long will you be gone?"

Leoben leaned back into the cushions of the sofa, his hands lingering on her shoulders, but slackening in their pressure. "Three days, maybe four."

"Four days?"

"If she can tell me the answers I'm looking for, or at least guide me in the right direction," he paused, his brow creased with the weight of the unknown. "I know I love you, Kendra. I know that we are destined to be together, but I want to be in this one hundred percent… past, present and future. I want to know what was hidden from me and why."

"I know," she lifted her hand to rest atop of his. "I know how much it matters to you."

"Then you know that I have to go."

"I know."

On the morning of his departure he slipped in behind her at the window and wrapped his arms around her waist, drawing her close to his body. Grey dawn had risen over the dirty city below, and the tents all flapped in the wind. She could almost hear them rumbling like thunder. Leoben lowered his chin onto her shoulder, scraping the sensitive skin along her neck with the stubble on his cheeks when he squeezed and then kissed her. "I won't be long. And after this, once it's settled, I won't ever leave you again."

"I'll be waiting right here," she promised, turning her mouth into his kiss.

She was still standing in the window when he surfaced on the street below, her palm flat against the cool glass when he turned back over his shoulder to look at her one last time. The flash of his grin tied a knot of anxiety in her stomach that only tightened into nausea the further he walked away from her. It was the same grin he'd shown her that afternoon on Caprica that he'd been killed. The same grin that had haunted her dreams for the last four years.

"Mama," Ares tugged at her fingers. She turned to look down at him, blinking away the tears before they could fall. "I'm hungry."

"Of course you are," she laughed, bending down to scoop him into her arms. She kissed his cheek and started away from the window. "It's breakfast time. Let's go see what we can find."

She was scrambling eggs for breakfast when the knock rose at the door. Figuring it was probably Felix, she set the bowl on the counter and walked over to peer through the peephole. Aaron Doral, or one of the other Fives, she couldn't be sure, stood on the other side of the door looking casually down the hallway to his left. Kendra moved to unlock the door without hesitation, a flutter of relief in her stomach.

"Kendra," his grin was somewhat flat, though she might not have noticed if she hadn't already been on the receiving end of it dozens of times. "I know it's been awhile, but I hope I am still welcome."

"Aaron," she stepped to the side. "Of course you're welcome, please come in. I've been waiting and waiting for you to come and see me, but then you never did. I was worried you."

"Worried?" his left eyebrow arched curiously. "Whatever for?"

"The Six who brought Ares home that night," she said. "She told me you were killed. That it was your first download."

"Ah, that, yes. It wasn't easy," he admitted. He walked toward the table, reaching over to tousle Ares' hair. The boy lit up, babbling excitedly, the sentences running together so quickly that Kendra herself barely understood him.

"Calm down," she laughed. "He's excited to see you. In fact, he asked about you quite a bit, but then you didn't come back…"

"I know," he nodded. "I've been incredibly busy, I apologize. I hope that you've had enough to keep you busy here. That you weren't too lonely up here all by yourself."

"Well, I could have used a little more work, possibly even a bit more company, but it hasn't been too bad. Ares and I have had a lot of time together, and I'm grateful for that, especially under the circumstances."

"I'm glad to hear it then," he lowered his hand onto the back of the chair in front of him and scanned the apartment. "I figured you'd be ready to get some fresh air, so how about it?"

"Fresh air would be great," she admitted. "Is it safe thought? Gaius told me that the insurgency has only gotten worse, that they've actually resorted to suicide bombings."

"Which is why it's time to move on from this place," he said. "The farming project was approved and there are already crews on site raising the buildings, readying the soil for harvest. Gaius told me that you were very enthusiastic about overseeing a section of the grounds."

"Yes," she nodded. "After everything that happened with Ares, I want to be as far from this place as possible."

"I'm glad to hear you say so, Kendra," he said. "Because we leave this afternoon for your new home."

Panic seized her, the thought of being gone when Leoben returned, of him not knowing where she was or how to find her was the most horrifying thought she'd had in weeks. Even worse was the dread of knowing that she had no reason to postpone leaving. As far as Aaron Doral, or anyone else for that matter, knew she had no more ties to the city, save for Gaius, and he could clearly get on just fine without her.

"Wow, this afternoon," she took a step back from him. "That's awful sudden. It really doesn't give me much time to pack."

"All of the work I've been doing has been in order to prepare for this," he said. "So that when the time was right, you could feel good about leaving this place. You need not take anything with you except for the necessities, your clothes and such."

"Wow," she looked over at Ares. He was grinning up at Aaron as he held a piece of cereal out to share with him. She was surprised when Aaron took it and thank him before popping it into his mouth. The standoffishness he had harbored around her son had dwindled as well, and he was actually smiling back at the boy, something he hadn't bothered to do at all in the past. "I don't know what to say. I wasn't expecting this at all."

Aaron's hazel eyes seemed to light up a little, his grin broadening as he lifted his shoulder toward his ear and said, "Surprise."

Not knowing what to make of this strange new side of him, Kendra turned back toward the counter and picked up the bowl. "I was just making some breakfast. Scrambled eggs. Would you like to join us?"

"Breakfast would be fine," he drew a chair out from the table and sat down beside Ares. She glanced back over her shoulder at them while whisking eggs, only to discover Aaron showing the child how to stack his cereal rings into perfect structures all across the table.

#

He had always seen the patterns, been able to interpret the signs. It was his purpose and function. All number Twos were created with the capacity to look between and gauge the outcomes so they could be laid out and interpreted before the others, but looking back was another thing altogether. Leoben sat beside the hybrid listening as she spoke the word of god, waiting for an opening in the patterns, for enlightenment.

He was a patient man. He could wait as long as was needed. The sound of her voice was hypnotic, calming.

"Elevated, we draw arms in circles like a ring of flowers, pollination cannot outwit extermination. Insects lose their sense of direction and fly away from the hive. Adjust atmospheric pressure in sector nine by .07 percent. Exsanguinated by the roadside and the watcher in the distance. FTL system destabilizing. Reassessing coordinate patterns. Patterns adjusted for maximum output. End of line."

Brother Cavil didn't believe that she was speaking from experience, that her madness was indication of her audience with God, but Leoben knew better. To know the face of God was to know madness; he had sampled that madness himself. Random images in the stream, the occasional number out of place, a distress signal. The hybrid made more sense to him than she did to the others, and he could spend days at her side simply listening to the gospel of the universe.

"Dream treads through water like flickers of sunlight. Blinded, greed, covetousness. Sin is man's gift and God's curse. Twenty-thousand cubits exchanged for the sake of continuity. The corruption was in the hardware. Faulty wiring, corrupt data begins to alter frames of consciousness. All sprang forth from the same well. Systems purge in sector five. Stabilize. Stabilize. Data lost. End of line. "

It went against everything he believed in, but he was fully prepared to go as far as he had to to retrieve that which had been lost. Kendra had come to him with the truth, and he saw their future together in the patterns, knew that the boy was his own son. He knew the path they faced together would not be a simple one, but they would know much joy.

"One body born of two. Divided, but loyal. Standing in the stream…"

"I have already seen his future," Leoben told the hybrid. "I need to know about the past."

"Grain by grain, sands in an hourglass build a town and then a city. A single grain undoes a mountain. Temperature fluctuation in the hangar deck. Minus eight degrees and counting. In a hidden room, electrical failure, unauthorized sector offline. A single grain undoes a mountain. Beware the flash of sunlight upon water. Faces in the dark the last of memory. Offline sector. Offline sector. End of line."

Hours of listening, sifting through the symbols of her madness and Leoben had only discovered that just as he suspected, someone had acted against. Someone had corrupted the memory data, but who had not yet been revealed. Had one of the other Twos sought to punish him, had it been a unified decision among all of them? Whatever had occurred, it was much deeper than he had imagined when he first set foot onto the baseship, and for the sake of his family on New Caprica below, he would have to put it all to rest before returning to them.

#

Kendra had wracked her brain while packing that last of her things for a sign she could leave Leoben about where they had gone. She didn't trust her gut, which felt sick at the prospect of being separated from him again, even as it tried to convince her that no matter where she was, he would always find her. The Centurions had carried her few scant belongings downstairs to a waiting truck that Aaron Doral would be driving into the countryside.

With Ares on her lap, she watched out the dusty window as the endless landscape unfurled, the city horizon fading behind them in the side-view mirror, blotted out by a rising cloud of dust. Ares, who hadn't been outside since the kidnapping excitedly pointed out animals, birds and trees as they passed them by, but Kendra was distracted. It was Aaron who played along, encouraged him to look at upcoming scenery that he seemed to know by heart.

The knot in her gut hadn't gone away since Leoben had left her that morning. Maybe she was overreacting, but she had a bad feeling and she wanted to trust it.

"Wait until you see the cottage I've had built for you," Aaron smiled across the cab of the truck. "It's quaint, but cozy. Not an angry soul around for miles, it'll be like an escape from all the madness of the city, of humanity and that wretched insurgency."

"I'm looking forward to the fresh air," she said. "Spending time out doors, even if it is tending to livestock, or whatever else you have planned for me."

"There is a separate area specifically set aside for the livestock," he told her. "The area you'll be tending is a somewhat more personal, and there won't be a lot of workers coming around that you'll have to take charge over. Mostly cylons, but I don't want to say too much. I've been trying to keep it a surprise."

"A surprise," she leaned forward a little to look over at him. "Aaron, I have to say, I've never seen this side of you. You've been acting different all day."

"Different?" he asked. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"I'm not sure yet," she laughed. "You've just been different."

"Yes, well," he looked back out at the unraveling road in front of them. "I guess you could say that a part of me has seen the light."

She wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean, but sat back against the seat and watched the country stretch out before them. She tried to ignore the apprehension, but no matter how she tried, it just wouldn't go away.

#

As long as he could remember, he had been projecting the same scene. An empty park by a rippling lake, the sunlight glinting off of the water in dancing shades of brilliant white that burned his eyes if he looked at them too long. It was Caprica, he knew that, but he had never been able to remember much about Caprica after he downloaded, or his mission there. Before Kendra, he had always just assumed that useless data had been purged. His mission had been a success and that was all that mattered.

Now, he wasn't so sure if that was the case. Someone, perhaps one of his own line, had taken those memories and deliberately corrupted them, but why. Cavil might know. He was the first and therefore the most logical. If there was corruption afoot, Cavil would want to know. Everyone would want to know so they might seek out whoever had acted outside of the group.

"Number Two," a voice behind him was carried on the wind that whispered through the trees in the park. He could feel the cool wind on his face, in his hair, as he turned around.

"Number Five," Leoben greeted the man.

"I've only just come from the hybrid," the Five said. "She had some very interesting things to say."

"As is to be expected," Leoben said. "The word of God is enlightenment."

"I've been spending a lot of time with her, actually, at the request of my fellow Five. Aaron Doral asked that I watch out for any strange prophecy she might have to share about you."

There was a tight feeling at the back of his neck as Leoben's teeth clenched in anticipation, "And why do the Fives concern themselves with prophecy of me?"

"Funny how quickly she told of her own betrayal," the five said. "The Two has come seeking that which was lost," he said. "Shattered memory will lead to the unveiling of treachery. The traitor in the midst… See, Leoben, he's my brother. It is in my best interest to look out for his best interest, and in that interest there is no room for truth."

The flash of a steel blade was like sunlight glinting on the water, but Leoben was too late to stop the blade from plunging into his side. The hybrid's voice echoed in his mind, "Beware the flash of sunlight upon water."

Warmth gushed from the wound, covered his hands when he reached down to stop the pain. On the wind there was a child's laughter that quickly turned to frantic screams, and as he fell to the ground he saw the image of Kendra's face. There was horror in her eyes unlike any he had ever seen, horror and unrelenting agony. The sunlight shone through the strands of her hair, shining like molten honey, but the light began to fade as darkness washed over his consciousness. And then there was a light more brilliant than the eyes could see.

He was in the stream.


	16. Chapter 16

"It's a wind farm," Aaron explained as the three of them climbed out of the front seat of the truck.

Kendra hiked Ares up higher on her hip and walked toward the field. It was amazing, being out in the wilderness again. She looked out over the vast expanse of land and breathed in the clean air. After living in New Caprica city for so long, and before that seeing nothing but the inside of a ship, she was surprised by how green everything was in the countryside, even as it paled in comparison to the parks and forests of Caprica. The cottage was enclosed, shaded by a circling of tall trees with hand-shaped leaves and small, bluish-skinned nuts.

In the field sprawled out before the cottage there were giants. Ten windmills with wide, swinging arms. "The farm itself extends for several miles," Aaron noted, heaving a box out of the back of the tuck. "We will farm between them, livestock, produce, utilizing the full scale of the land."

Speechless, she barely managed to utter the word, "Wow."

"And it will keep growing," he said. "The entire city grid will be switched over to wind power in just a few weeks, and the beauty is that it's completely renewable, which means we can reserve valuable resources elsewhere."

Kendra shielded her eyes from the silver burn of the sun and watched the towers in the field swing their arms in simultaneous circles. The sound was constant, but lulling, though she imagined that if more than ten of the great beasts in one place would create quite a sound.

"I guess I just wasn't expecting this. When you said farm, I expected animals, fields, corn…"

"I hope you're not disappointed." Still holding the box in his arms, Aaron glanced sidelong at her. "I chose a better life for you and your son, Kendra, away from the dangerous city. You deserve better, and here you can start a new life free of Centurion guards and insurgent riots."

Ares pointed toward the wind towers, "Goes round and round."

"Yes, they do," she nodded. "They make lights and electricity."

"Anyway, the nearest farm is about five miles north of here," Aaron said. "Come inside, let me show you around the cottage."

"Five miles," she followed as Aaron started toward the cottage and watched him maneuver the box around so he could open the door. "So, am I a prisoner here as well? In the city I couldn't leave because of the danger, here I'll be stranded in the wilderness without a soul to talk to."

"You won't be alone," his brow wrinkled as he turned over his shoulder to look at her. "I'll be staying here myself, at least most of the time. I will have to travel into the city when the need arises, but for the most part, it will just be the three of us here."

The jolt of his words rooted her to the earth, and she felt her hold on Ares growing tighter. There was no mistaking it, she had heard him correctly, but she didn't want to believe what he'd just said. Nervous energy circulated through the knotted entanglement in her stomach, a series of chills rippling the length of her spine.

"You mean we'll be staying here together?"

The door had closed behind him, but he reappeared in front of the screen and held it open for her. "Is that a problem?"

She didn't know what to say. On one hand she was terrified of sending the wrong signal, while on the other she was fairly certain the wrong signal had already been sent. But what if she was wrong and it was perfectly innocent?

"I'm not sure," she said. "I wasn't expecting this, Aaron and I'm worried that maybe I've given you the wrong impression."

"I know, I'm full of surprises today, I apologize." He pushed the door further toward her and held a hand out to her. "A part of me knew you would be more resistant to the idea of coming out here if you knew what I was planning for us, but we're here now. Come inside and let me give you the tour of our new home. Afterwards, we'll sit down and have tea and I will share my plans with you."

She didn't move, couldn't move. Her mind raced through options, first and foremost, running, but there was nowhere to run to, and with the use of the truck behind them, she wouldn't get far before he found her. Ares reached toward the door, struggling in her arms, and when Aaron reappeared with empty hands, he took the boy from her and slipped into the cottage. It happened so quickly that she wasn't able to react, and even if she had, she didn't want to hurt her baby.

"Let's go inside," Aaron's placid face yielded nothing through the screened door.

"Go inside, Mama," Ares said.

She swallowed against the razor sharp dread that ached in her throat and stepped toward the door with an outstretched hand. The knob was cold in her hand, but she drew the door opened and stepped into the cottage anyway, thinking that maybe if she played along she could catch him off guard at some point and escape. She could flee back to the city and search for Leoben, seek help from Gaius, whatever it took.

"This second bedroom is small, the perfect size for a little boy, at least for now. If need arises we can always expand later, build something bigger."

"And where will I be sleeping?"

He was still holding Ares, often talking to the boy throughout the tour of the cottage in a placating tone she'd never heard him use before. The serious side of him she'd worked with had been daunting, often overpowering, but this softer side was just downright scary.

"The master bedroom is in the loft," he said pointed toward the ceiling. "It's quaint and private. I'll show you."

There was a small staircase near the back of the kitchen that climbed into the loft, which was as rustically fashioned as the rest of the cottage. There were solar windows that opened just over the bed, lighting the entire room brilliantly, and though the room was beautiful, under the circumstances she couldn't find it in herself to do more than nod her head.

"Do you like it?"

"It's all very nice," she said. "Where will you be sleeping?"

"That's what I wanted to talk with you about," he said. "Let's go downstairs."

She tried to learn anything she could from his face, but his eyes were a blank slate, no emotion whatsoever, and so she followed him down the stairs again and into the kitchen. Aaron lowered Ares onto the floor and the boy took off running from room to room like an explorer. After gesturing for Kendra to take a seat at the table, Aaron turned to the stove and lit the burner. He filled the kettle from the freshwater pump beside the sink and then laid the kettle over the flame.

"Look, Aaron, if I gave you the wrong sort of impression, I want to apologize. I never meant to lead…"

"Shh," he turned back from the stove, a finger to his lips as he stalked toward her. "I want to tell you a story, Kendra," he said. "A story about true love. You see, once upon when we were in the early stages of our plan, there was need for someone to take a position at Colonial Civil Intelligence. Of course, there was much debate over who would be most appropriate for such a position. The Fives were the most logical choice for the position. Our dedication to the mission and subtlety at blending in made us perfect for the job. But then the Twos stepped forward, spouting off about patterns and destiny and just like that the job went to him."

"I don't under…"

He spoke over her, as though she hadn't even spoken at all. "So I watched him. Day and night I surveyed his every move. I followed him through training, through his first two years as an agent, and then he met you. I'll spare you the rehashing of sickeningly sweet detail, the long nights and never ending theological conversations…" There was madness in his hazel stare, a wicked gleam that simply begged to be pushed just a little too far. "You were his downfall, you know. The guilt between moments of clarity, the reason for that trip he planned because he couldn't kill you. But I never thought that you'd go without him, so I had him killed. Imagine my surprise when I saw you here, alive and well, the mother of one of our children."

It was all too much, too quickly relayed that it barely had time to sink into the soft-sponge of her frantic mind. There was a flash imagery, instant replay of those final moments in the park, the lone figure on the bench. He had been watching them, had watched her shrieking in agony while her husband bled to death in her arms. The same eyes stared back at her now, and even through the blur of her own tears, she recognized a faint glimmer of hate in those eyes.

"He took what should have been mine, what glory should have been mine. You should have been mine and the boy… but now I've taken it back."

"Leoben will come for us," she said. "He knows who he is, who we are, and he won't ever let us go again."

Confidence exuded from his thin-lipped grin as he shook his head no, "I'm afraid that won't be happening. You see, even now my brother has taken him lightyears away from this place. If he is not already dead, it's only a matter of time before he is, and there will be no coming back this time."

"You lie," she gasped.

His grin was malignant, "Do I?"

"This is insane," she lifted a hand into the loose strands of her hair, holding it away from her forehead as she blinked furiously to rid the tears from her eyes.

She wanted to hide the strength of the blow of his words, but it was impossible. She kept telling herself that Leoben was not dead, that she would know, would feel it. She wouldn't believe it until she herself had drawn her last breath. The image of him turning to look back over his shoulder at her was clear as day, his slow smile and silent promise that everything would be okay.

"You're intelligent, Aaron. Obviously you've thought long and hard about this, and you can see the error in it."

"Error?" he shook his head. "I think not. Everything aligned perfectly, and I played all of my cards just right. I played Tamlyn against you, which was simpler than I ever imagined. I drew attention to your difference, singled you out among them so that your fellow humans would know where your loyalties really lie. The simplicity of betrayal is so utterly human it makes me sick."

"Ironic," she lifted her chin. "Considering the circumstances and everything you say about us, about humanity, all of those faults are equally flawed in you. You've betrayed and murdered your own and for what? Jealousy? Greed?"

Behind him the kettle began to sputter and whistle, and the sound of Ares' footsteps rumbled in the next room. Just beyond Aaron she could see the boy running in circles around the sofa with his arms out, like he was flying.

"Don't you see, Kendra? I did it for love and for the son that should have been mine."

"Love," she laughed, and closed her eyes, her voice tightened by the clench of her jaw and the overwhelming sense of emotion that stabbed insider like a dagger. "I will never love you."

"We have time," he stepped back toward the kettle. "In fact, out here we have nothing but time."


	17. Chapter 17

_Darkness. Complete and utter darkness. Head throbbed, mouth dry, the pain had gone, but the memory of it still lingered in his side. Naked, he shivered on the cold floor. There was no time, no measurement for its passing. He simply existed in a void waiting for the light to return. The stream flowed around him, lapped at his consciousness and lulled him into the dream state where it was safe…_

Kendra woke to the sound of laughter, her stiff neck jolting pain into her head and shoulder like bolts of lightning. Disoriented by the sunlight shining in through the windows all around her, she sat up and scanned the room to familiarize herself with her whereabouts. She had fallen asleep on the sofa after refusing to follow Aaron upstairs. For hours she'd sat there in the dark wracking her brain for a solution to her current predicament.

She was still in denial about Leoben. Her soul would have felt the loss of him. God knows the last time he'd died it had torn her apart from the inside out. He was still alive, still out there somewhere and she wanted to believe more than anything that he would come for her before all was said and done. In the meantime, what was she supposed to do?

Laughter fluttered out once more from the small kitchen, her son's laughter, and when she leaned outward to see what was going on, she only saw Ares at the table and Aaron hunched into the table beside him. The sound of laughter drew her from her place, and she walked into the kitchen, rubbing the strain from her neck.

"There she is," Aaron sat back in the chair. "We were just wondering if you were going to sleep all day, weren't we, Ares?"

There were animal shaped pancakes stacked in haphazard piles on a plate in the center of the table. Ares' face and hands were sticky with honey, which he showed her gladly. "We eat kitty pancakes."

"Kitty pancakes," she nodded and reached out to run her fingers into his hair. "Were they good?"

"Mmm," he took another bite, grinning playfully up at her.

"There's coffee," Aaron said. "With fresh cream."

She said nothing, but moved about the kitchen finding what she needed, a clean mug, the sugar, a spoon. She stirred the cream into her coffee, watching it swirl caramel colored clouds against the black. What if he were poisoning her, she wondered, suddenly reluctant to take anything he offered.

"How do I know it's not poisoned?"

The chilling sound of his laughter surprised her, "You don't," he admitted. "But I don't want to kill you, Kendra. The food is safe."

Spoon tinkled against porcelain as she stirred the last of the cream into her coffee, and then she lifted the mug to her lips, first blowing and then sipping the bittersweet concoction.

"Why don't you sit down and have some breakfast," he pushed his chair away from the table and stood. He gestured for her to take his seat. There was kindness in his face, an uncanny need to please her that hadn't been there before, and she wondered how much of it was just an act—some kind of ruse to smooth over the damage that had been done upon his revelation.

"I'm not hungry," she walked out of the kitchen, out into the living room and stood in front window of the cottage watching the windmills turn in the field across the way.

The mug was hot in her hands, signaling pain to the nerves, but she did everything she could to turn off the warnings. She didn't want to feel at all, didn't want to let her emotions get the best of her. It was where she'd gone wrong with Tamlyn, and she realized that now. She'd been the one who'd ruined everything by standing beside the cylons… all for the sake of hoping that somehow she and Leoben might reunite. She'd forsaken the only person who'd stood beside her after the attacks, had been like a sister to her, and for what?

Not that her brief time with Leoben hadn't been worth it, but knowing now that all along it had been some plot on Aaron Doral's part to get closer to her… A shudder moved through her, like someone somewhere in the future had walked over her grave. She swallowed and watched the windmills turn.

Strong, silent, their continuity should have made her feel safe, their promise for a better future on New Caprica should have given her hope, but she had been blinded by her own expectations too often in the last year. Somehow she had hoped that in allying herself with Gaius, she could influence him to do better for them all, but he rarely listened to her. His only connection with her outside of the sexual obvious had been their past. Both of them had loved the enemy, both of them had played their own parts in the destruction of their own kind, and if she knew Gaius as well as she thought she did, she knew that just like her he would go back in time knowingly and still do it all again.

Did that make what she was going through poetic justice? Did she deserve the punishment of Aaron Doral's love?

She was so wrapped up in her mind that she hadn't heard him come up behind her, didn't react to him until his hand laid softly down on her shoulder and his face moved in beside hers. "It's a beautiful morning, though I wonder if after last night's sleeping on the sofa you are actually able to enjoy it."

Kendra swallowed hard against the anxiety of his hands on her. He slid back, lifting his other hand to the opposite shoulder, his careful fingers working to massage the knots from her muscles. "You looked so uncomfortable this morning when I came down. Like you'd hardly slept at all."

She tried to stretch away from his touch, but his grip was firm on her.

"I suppose I'll have to get used to it," she said.

"It doesn't have to be that way, Kendra."

"I'm afraid it's the only way."

"Suit yourself," he patted her shoulder before stepping back. "But I have faith that it's only a matter of time before you change your mind."

"Don't count on it."

He leaned close again, his mouth just beside her ear, and she cold feel the presence of his body less than an inch away from he own. "I am counting on it," he whispered. "In fact, I've been able to think of nothing else for weeks on end." So close, she thought she felt the touch of his mouth on the sensitive skin of her hear. "It's only a matter of time, Kendra. I promise you that."

Her jaw was clenched so tight that the muscles ached and her teeth hurt. Even after he withdrew his touch, she couldn't relax. Hands trembled so strongly that she nearly spilled her coffee, but slowly she steadied them, steadied her mind, and drew breath into her lungs again as he walked away into the kitchen. She lifted the coffee mug to her lips and despite the heat, drank several gulps, hoping for the caffeine or even the heat to energize her senses.

Behind her in the kitchen, Aaron cleaned up Ares and the mess from breakfast, all the while the two of them talking, Ares laughing every few minutes. Only with Leoben during the last couple weeks had she heard her son laugh so much. He had always been a happy little boy, but the absence of a father figure had obviously been hard on him. Gaius had given him very little attention, at least attention he could thrive on. He had warmed up to Aaron, behaving as comfortably with the man as he had with Leoben. Was it only a matter of time before he forgot Leoben completely, allowing Aaron to fulfill the role he so desperately longed for.

Kendra's eyes stung, but she widened them in refusal to cry, not in front of Aaron. She had a sneaking suspicion that any pain she might experience would only bring him a sense of sadistic joy. The last thing she wanted was to bring him happiness, under the circumstances. She blinked several times, the quick movement drying tears on her stiff lashes, but she never shed them. She turned away from the window and walked back toward the sofa, taking a seat and holding her coffee to warm away the otherworldly chill that had set into her bones.

"We should go for a walk and see if we can find some berries," Aaron said as he and Ares came out of the kitchen together.

"And find some animals," Ares said.

"We just may," Aaron agreed. "What about Mommy, should we invite her to join us."

Ares ran toward the couch and climbed up beside her, "You will walk with us, Mama, to find some animals."

"Okay," she agreed.

Fresh air would clear her head, a survey of the surrounding land could be useful if she ever managed to escape. She put her shoes on and buttoned Ares' jacket before setting out the door behind him and Aaron, who were playing like they had only invited her along to be courteous. She walked several steps behind them listening to her son babble, listening to Aaron answer his questions, and had to look away when the boy reached up to grasp Aaron's hand.

The berries Aaron had spoken of occupied Ares completely, and he stuffed more into his mouth than he did into the baskets they brought along to collect them. The bushes were full of small orange birds that flittered in and out of thorny branches chittering at the intrusion on their private feast. Aaron laughed as Ares named them all after favorite story characters, and on the walk back he made up incomplete stories about the birds that should have touched Kendra's heart.

Arms crossed, she kept her distance, listening to their conversation, but not participating. She had only gone in the first place for Ares, to make sure that he wasn't hurt in any way because a part of her was terrified that Aaron would use him to hurt her if she didn't do what he wanted. As long as she could keep him in sight, she could watch over and protect him to the best of her ability.

When they arrived back at the cottage, Ares passed the basket of berries off to her and decided to run around from tree to tree. Aaron stood beside her, head cocked and watching as the boy's imagination carried him away. He climbed up on rocks, jumping off with his arms flailing like the birds he'd just spent the last thirty minutes studying. He picked up nuts and examined them before throwing them back to the ground and stomping on them.

"They are amazing," Aaron said. "Children, I mean. I never realized… and their minds are incredible places of endless possibility. He is guided by his curiosity, enamored by the simplest flicker of color around him."

"It's called innocence," she said.

"It must be preserved at all costs," Aaron said softly. "It seems clear that the loss of one's innocence is what separates mankind from God."

"You think you're innocent," she looked toward him with such hate in her eyes that he actually drew a step away. "That you're in God's favor? When all of the killing is done, God will turn his back on us all."

"He's turned you into quite theologian, Leoben has," Aaron said. "It's too bad that your limited view on God is corrupted by your humanness. He distances himself from you because of your sins."

"Human, cylon," she started, "the sins all add up in the end, and it won't matter who has committed them. God will make the final judgment on us all."

He was grinning when he walked away from her, toward Ares, who welcomed the opportunity to be lifted up and spun in the air like a ship moving in for attack. Kendra just stood near the edge of the yard watching them play, her mind far away as it schemed for some way to get out of the situation she was in.

When lunchtime rolled around she couldn't pretend anymore that she wasn't hungry. The loud rumbling of her stomach gave her away and Aaron insisted on making lunch. She sat at the table with Ares, watching as he drew pictures on paper with colored chalk. His excitement overwhelmed him and the fresh air tired him out. By the time he'd finished half of his lunch, his lids were heavy and he was nearly falling asleep in his chair. Kendra wiped his face and lifted him into her arms, carrying him off to lay him down for a nap.

She stood above his bed watching him sleep thinking about how tired she was herself. She wasn't going to be able to hold out very long if she didn't start sleeping better. Withdrawing her hand from her son, she went into the living room and drew her coat around herself before laying down on the couch. The position of her body sent an aching sensation into her neck and shoulders, and several times he shifted to try and gain a little comfort.

"Why don't you go upstairs and have a nap," Aaron said from the edge of the kitchen. "I won't bother you." She lifted her head to look at him, his face a blank canvas void of emotion. "I have some paperwork to do."

The stiffness in her neck mixed with how tired she was pushed on her nerves, causing her head to ache. If she could just get a couple of hours quality sleep, maybe she could think more clearly. Without a word, she pushed up off the sofa and walked past him toward the stairs. She climbed the slowly, into the loft. The bed was flawlessly made, a quilt folded at the bottom, which she opened up to cover herself with. She kicked off her shoes and sat down, testing the spring in the mattress.

As she laid down, she could still hear Aaron moving around in the kitchen, first cleaning the dishes, then sweeping the floor. It wasn't until the faint rustle of paperwork whispered through the silent cottage that the heaviness of her eyelids became too much to bear. Her body yielded, and sleep rolled over her like a weighty blanket.

_The images that flooded the banks of his mind were not dreams, even as they were. Memories. Stolen moments fitted back together like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Myriad of strange lights, two bodies clinging together in the darkness, whispered commitment, love, forever beyond death. The softness of her flesh against his created an ache inside of him, to be so close made him feel as if his heart might explode. _

_Hand reached up to touch his face and he nestled into the warmth of her touch. "Sometimes I just want to savor every moment we have. Like a part of me knows that this is all too good to be true and that one day I'll have to live without you."_

_He kissed her palm, her wrist. "As long as we both live, you will never have to be without me. You are my destiny, Kendra." _

_"And what if one of us dies before the other?" _

_"Never happen," he shook his head._

_"It could happen." _

_"Never," he insisted. "We'll die together."_

_Her laughter was heaven, so light it lifted him up. "You make it sound so simple."_

_"It is simple," he leaned up into her kiss, drawing her body back down into the bed with his. "We'll die together. Wait and see."_

_"Kendra," the darkness pressed against him like a vice. He pushed up off the floor and tried to ignore the frigid air that chilled his body. "Kendra," he called into the darkness. He knew she couldn't hear him, that she was too far away, but he remembered and he believed that as long as she were still alive out there she could feel him. "Kendra," he whispered. "I'm here." _

The sky had darkened during her nap, and even with the skylights the room felt gray. She shivered underneath the quilt she'd wrapped herself in and stretched her legs. Her mind was still soft from sleep, her brain still grasping for the last images of the last dream to cross through her subconscious. Nothing but calm, she noticed. Calm reassurance, and though she had no idea what it meant, the reassurance was all she needed. No matter how many times Aaron tried to tell her that Leoben was dead, she would never believe it. Not until she herself was knocking at death's door.


	18. Chapter 18

Leoben had no concept of time. It only occurred to him that time had passed when the inevitable rumbling of his empty stomach, combined with sharp pangs of hunger, drew him from the comfort of his projection. The sun always shone there, birds calling above and the wind's chill was like a bitter kiss—the promise of warmer days to come. Even behind the shielding lenses of his sunglasses, the beams prodded like tender fingers at his eyes, but mostly because he couldn't take his eyes off of her.

He liked to watch wisps of her hair catch in the breeze and whipping, they glinted like liquid gold in the sunlight. Sometimes he reached out to touch the satiny texture of her hair, brushed a renegade lock away from her face, his finger pausing to trace the outline of her mouth before leaning inward to kiss her. Everything about her was perfectly human, flawed by every definition programmed into his senses, but completely irresistible. The scent of her hair, the taste of her saliva in his mouth, her body against his, as if the two of them were designed by God to fit perfectly together.

Ka-shunk, the opening of the sealed and vaulted door, and when the light streamed into his darkened prison, he shied away from it, squinting easily offended eyes. A shadow lingered in the doorway, a figure he recognized immediately as one of the Fives. The lights did not turn on when he stepped through the doorway, and his figure momentarily blocked the illumination from the hallway.

"Get up," the Five said.

"Frak you," Leoben laughed, the edge of madness lingering close.

"If you wish to take nourishment, you'll do as I say."

"Nourishment?" He pressed off on his shoulder, leaning partially upright. "What's the point of nourishing me if you're just going to kill me?"

"Do you want to take nourishment or not?"

"Of course I do. I'm starving," he was sitting upright now. "How long have I been here?"

"That's enough talk, Number Two," the Five instructed. "Get dressed."

Quick reflexes, Leoben caught the pile of clothing the Five tossed in his direction, and quickly clothed his body. He wasn't sure how long he had been in the silence of that prison, how long he'd lain naked on the floor after his last download. There was only a vague recollection of gasping for life before he had been injected with some kind of drug that had knocked him out for an indeterminable number of hours. He'd woken alone in his prison, but strange enough with all of his memories, even those lost years he'd spent on Caprica.

In the dark he'd ached for her. Having known her again, been so close to her again weighted the added recollection heavily on his soul. He had been right along, even on Caprica when he'd been unaware of his true nature. They were destined for one another. Part of God's plan. And he had a son. A beautiful son. It was those revelations that quelled any fear he might have, because no matter what Aaron Doral and his band of Fives was up to, they couldn't stand in the way of God's plan. God prevailed, above all things.

Once dressed, the Five stepped restrained him with handcuffs and started to lead him toward the nourishing station. He walked just behind Leoben, to his left, but Leoben could still make out the Five's expression from the corner of his eye. He was perturbed, very obviously so, as though just the notion of what he was doing disgusted him.

"How long since I downloaded?" Leoben didn't look directly at him, just turned his head slightly to the left.

The Five cleared his throat, "It's been five days."

"Five days," he repeated, nodding his head. "Why now?"

The nourishing station was empty, and the Five worked around the cuffs, plugging an intravenous tube into a vein in Leoben's forearm. The Five stepped back and crossed his arms then, watching the man in front of him with that sense of distaste the Fives often regarded him with.

"Are you going to tell me why now, or do I start guessing?"

"Let's just say that I want no part in Doral's plans," he said. "In fact, a number of the Fives would e included to side with me if they were made aware of the situation. As it stands, very few even know what he has done."

"And do any of you know why he did it?"

"Does it matter?" The Five asked. "I only know that living down there did something to him, he's not functioning as he should be."

"He had me killed," Leoben pointed out. "Over a human woman."

The Five's arms were still crossed, his serious face seemed to stretch momentarily in disbelief, and then he relaxed his jaw. "Again, he is obviously not functioning as he should be. Unfortunately, it's not as simple as a basic malfunction. The Five he asked to take you out of the equation seems to believe that he committed the act for true love."

Leoben's jaw tightened, "There was a human woman on Caprica that I made my wife. She survived the attacks because I arranged for her to be off-planet when they occurred, and right now she is down there on New Caprica. It's not her that he wants, but her son," he explained. "My son."

"Your son?" the Five turned his head curiously.

"My son."

"Why are you telling me this, Number Two?"

"Because I need to get back down to that planet and make sure that my son and his mother come to no harm. He is one of us, and when the others find out that Aaron Doral and the other Fives deliberately put one of God's sacred blessings in harm's way..."

The Five said nothing, but he had uncrossed his arms and there was a panicked look that stirred in his gaze.

#

Kendra's head throbbed as she stretched out of the sticky confines of a blurred dream. Even in her dream her head had been pounding, a dull, but continuous knocking inside her skull. She leaned forward to sit up, the pain making it nearly impossible to get up, but she forced herself anyway. The silver light of day illuminated the room perfectly, a room she could not remember going to bed in the night before. In fact her groggy mind couldn't put time in its proper place, no matter how she tried.

Had she only just gone up after lunch to take a nap? She listened to silence marred by an endless ringing in her ears, waited for the familiarity of sound to give her a hint about the time of day. No sound followed, so she drew herself out of bed, staggering against the swimming sensation in her head all the way to the top of the staircase. It required every ounce of her energy and concentration to crawl down the stairs and into the empty kitchen, and by the time she reached the ground floor she was completely exhausted.

What was going on inside her? She dragged herself toward the table and slumped down into the chair closest to her. Lowering her face into her hands, she closed her eyes and tried to get a handle on the last thing she remembered.

He'd been angry. Her constant moping and despondence had pushed him over the edge as the three of them sat through yet another meaningless dinner. The depression had sunk into her so deep over the last couple of days that she barely wanted to get off of the couch. From morning on through the day she just sat there staring at the walls around her and listening to her son become mesmerized by Aaron's constant attention.

"You're going to have to get over this sometime, Kendra," Aaron was cutting pieces of meat into small chunks for Ares as he said this. "Move on with your life, start anew."

"Leoben is coming for us," she said.

Aaron's eye seemed to twitch when she said this, a nervous reaction, or repressed anger, she couldn't be sure. "Now see, my love, that is where you're wrong. No one is coming for you because Leoben is dead."

"No," she shook her head. "You wouldn't understand this because you've never known love, but the bond between us, Leoben and me, is so strong that if he were dead, I would feel it in my very soul," she told him. "I feel nothing."

He smirked when he looked up at her, "You feel nothing because there is nothing to feel. He is dead, Kendra. You have my guarantee of that."

Behind the façade of her indifference, she trembled at the real possibility of his death. If he was still alive he would have come for them by now, she was sure of it. On the other hand, she had come to believe that the connection between them was drawn by the very hand of God, Himself, and she would feel his death.

"Once again you demonstrate your ignorance then, when it comes to love. You see, Aaron, love is not some feeble gift given without thought. So even if he were dead, I would never give my love to you, his killer."

"But I have untangled the mess that he made of our destiny, Kendra. It is you and I who are meant to be together. We are God's chosen. Don't you see it?"

Over the previous four days she had worked on his nerve, pushed against his every wish until he nearly exploded. She should have known how close he was to the edge right then, but he held his composure well. He turned his attention on Ares throughout the remainder of dinner, and she couldn't even stand to watch.

After dinner she returned to her place on the couch in the living room, and while Ares ran around her playing with a host of new toy trucks Aaron had given him the day before, she listened to the rain slap against the windows and the rooftop. She couldn't believe Aaron, and she knew that, but his continual insistence that Leoben was dead terrified her inside. Night and Day she imagined all the different scenarios, the different ways he could come and save them, but after four days without any sign of him, tendrils of doubt began to wrap around her consciousness. Surely, Aaron knew that and sought new ways to edge against her doubt daily.

"Even when you're sullen, you're beautiful," he sat down beside her after she'd put Ares to bed and reached over to touch the back of his finger alone the length of her cheek. She'd shied away from him, turning her face away from his touch, and stirring up the growing rage inside him. "Day and night you taunt me with it," he gripped her chin in his hand, squeezing tight as he drew her face back to his. "And you're just fooling yourself."

She pulled against his grip, the pressure of his fingers bruising her flesh, but she didn't care, "You're the one fooling yourself." The way he squeezed her face distorted her words, but brought the slice of a smile to his lips.

When he let go of her, he shoved just enough that a jolt of agony shot through her neck, into her shoulder. "I don't know why you fight it. We both know the truth, Kendra. We both know that what we have could be so much more than this. God wants more for us."

Surprised by the sound of her own laughter, it carried her away for a moment. The rise and fall of it inside her evoked a giddy sensation in her stomach, like butterflies, and though she didn't now what it meant, it was liberating. The liberation wormed its way deep into her, tickled her senses until all she could hear was the endless stream of her own laughter. _This is what it feels like to lose yourself,_ she thought. _This is what it feels like to go insane._

That was when he hit her. The impact of his backhand had been forceful enough to throw her backward into the arm of the sofa. For the first time in her life she saw stars rushing toward her like light speed, her mind dizzied by the effect, the pain white hot in her bones.

Aaron rose over her, glaring down at where she lay half-arched over the sofa. "I will not be mocked."

Her first thought had been to tell him to go frak himself, but even despite the jarring blur his backhand had left on her vision, she could clearly see the threat of madness in his glare. She drew into herself then, turning into the coach and away from him, and fell apart. Hopeless and in more pain than she had experienced in years, she didn't want to cry, not even after she heard his footsteps disappear into the kitchen, but she had no more control over her tears than Aaron seemed to have over her temperament, and the lack was absolutely infuriating.

The memory of time blurred once more, the stab of her current headache like hot needles into the backs of her eyes. Nausea rose in her stomach, bile edged against the back of her tongue. Afraid she couldn't move fast enough, she darted toward the bathroom and dropped to her knees in front of the toilet just in time.

"I'm sorry, Kendra," he'd appeared behind her, soft hand on her shoulder and shameful tenderness in his voice. "I didn't mean to lose my temper," he said. "It's just that you frustrate me so… and I—don't know what else I can do or say to make you see the truth I have seen. Can you forgive me?"

He knelt down on the floor in front of her when she turned around, holding out a wine glass in offering of peace. "Here, drink this," he said. "It'll take the edge off of the pain."

Reluctant, she looked first at the glass, and then at his face, the torrid waters of his hazel eyes, the shocking amalgamation of bursting color might have been beautiful in another life or time. She reached out and took the glass, drawing it to her lips and taking several long gulps of the syrupy sweet wine. There was a bitter aftertaste in her mouth, but Aaron was right. Within seconds the stabbing edge of pain in her cheekbone abated, but with the pain went part of her awareness. She tilted the glass into her mouth again, finishing the rich contents and then handing the glass back to Aaron.

"There you go," his eyes locked on hers and he reached out to touch her face, to move a stray strand of hair from her cheek. "It's feeling better already, isn't it?" His finger traced the edge of her cheek, paused at her chin and slightly lifted her face to another angle, which he then admired with silent appreciation.

Kendra had wanted to reach up and push his hand away, but she was powerless to move. She wasn't tired, just powerless, and after Aaron laid the glass down on the table behind him, he moved up onto his knees before her and positioned one hand on the back of her neck while drawing her forward to rest her forehead against his own.

"You'll be angry tomorrow," he said, lifting his lips to graze her cheek. "But it's the only way I can prove to you that we are meant to be together, Kendra."

Numbness trickled through her face just like paralysis, and when he lowered his lips to brush them against her own, she was completely powerless to stop him. She struggled to the best of her ability, but it was one of the hardest battles she'd ever fought. "Shh," pursed lips shooshed before grazing against her protesting mouth. "Don't fight it."

He easily overpowered her, and though she could not remember a single moment of what had taken place afterward, there was a vague recollection of struggle, but no memories to back it up.

She had woken up in the bed upstairs, she realized, holding her weak stomach as she wretched into the cold water. She pressed her face against the cool porcelain, the throbbing ache like a heart beating inside her skull. Aaron had drugged her, obviously based on the reaction her body was taking to it, but what else had he done to her? Not a single memory flashed back for her to grasp onto, and that notion made her feel even sicker.

As the poison purged from her body, she started to feel somewhat human again, finally pulling herself up and rinsing the foul taste out of her mouth. She walked slowly out into the cottage and toward the living room. She still had no idea what time it was, where her son was. She wanted to just hold onto him, grab him up in her arms and run until her legs couldn't carry her anymore, but the living room was silent, the second bedroom empty, and there was no sign of Aaron either.

"Ares," she called out, after a few minutes with no answer she walked toward the door and opened it up. A gust of chilly air washed over her, refreshing her senses and stinging her eyes. "Ares," she stepped out onto the earth, bare feet squishing into the cold mud.

The truck that had not moved from its place since their arrival was gone, fresh tracks in the mud leading away from the cottage. Aaron had taken the truck and her son, and God only knew where he'd gone. Another wave of nausea and dizziness rippled through her and she had to clutch tight to the door frame to keep her balance. She staggered back into the cottage and collapsed on the sofa. Her mind was so disconnected from her body that she couldn't even worry about the whereabouts of her son. She should have been worried, and a part of her knew it, but as she curled up on the couch and tried to ride out the waves of dizziness, eventually a dark cloak dropped over her once again, and she felt nothing at all.


	19. Chapter 19

When Kendra next woke the house was silent, but the presence of other beings within it was certain. She could feel them nearby, and then she heard movement in the kitchen. Pots thunked onto burners, silverware clanged, and the pungent aroma of herbed fish wafted through the cottage. As she sat up, the weight of the poison he had used to drug her still pressed heavily on her, but her awareness of the situation rushed back to her.

He had drugged her. And when she'd woke earlier, he had taken Ares and left without even telling her. Up to a point she had been a cooperative prisoner. She hadn't tried to escape, she had never fought him. She'd just existed, and he had done the unspeakable. The most solid memory she had before the effects of that poison had gripped her in darkness was his mouth on hers. She could hardly begin to imagine the things he'd done to her after she'd lost consciousness.

"Hi Mama," Ares popped up beside the couch and grinned at her.

She swallowed against the dryness in her throat and mouth and forced herself to smile, "Hello Baby." She reached out and laid her hand atop his head for a long moment.

"You wake up now?" he asked.

"I did, yes."

The sound of their conversation drew Aaron's attention from the kitchen, and he stepped into the walkway, crossing his arms. "We were beginning to think you were going to sleep the day away. You must have been very tired."

"Tired," she looked toward him. "You think?"

The sudden movement of her head made her feel dizzy, and for a moment Aaron wavered in two before her.

"You're probably hungry," he noted. "Unless you ate when you woke up this morning."

"Actually, I spent the few minutes I was up and around this morning vomiting," she hoped he heard the disgust in her voice. "And I'm not very hungry now either." The second half was a lie. Despite the dizziness and mild nausea, her stomach felt like an empty drum, rusting away with every moment that it went unfilled.

"Well, it'll do you good to eat something. Dinner is on the table in ten minutes," he said. "I expect to see you there."

"So you can poison me again?"

"I would never," the tone of his voice mocked disbelief, and then he turned back into the kitchen. "Ares," he called. "Come help me set the table, please."

"I'm coming."

Without a second though, the boy leaped up from his place on the floor beside her and ran toward the kitchen without looking back. She sat back against the sofa, rolled her head along the cushion behind her in an effort to stretch the aching tension from her neck. It was only a matter of time before Aaron completely turned her own son against her. She could feel it in her bones. Out in the kitchen she listened to the boy talk excitedly to his new mentor, and she hated Aaron more than ever for taking his father away from him.

Ares had had more time with Leoben, just over two weeks getting to know his father, and had been on the verge of calling him Daddy. Kendra had encouraged it and knew that the only reason Ares had not asked about his father was due to the small talk Leoben had with him before leaving.

"You have been such a big, strong man all along," he told him, "taking care of your Mama, and now Daddy has to go away for a little while, so I know that I am leaving her in good hands. You'll take good care of her, won't you?"

"I will," Ares said.

"That's a good boy," Leoben smiled. "Now give me a hug."

Ares had thrown himself into Leoben's arms and squeezed as tight as his little arms would let him. All his life he had never even known he was missing a father, but he longed for one. She had seen it in the subtle way he longed for Gaius' attention during those long months before the Cylon occupation. He had vied for Aaron's attention early on, but Leoben required no prodding. The minute he was made aware of the boy, he was down on his knees on the floor doing all the things a father should.

It wasn't fair, she bit down on her lower lip so hard that the pinched skin broke against her teeth and she tasted blood on her tongue. Over the last five days her deepest fear had become Aaron pushing himself so far into Leoben's place as Ares' father, that eventually the boy wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the two.

"Kendra," he drove her out of her stupor with the sharp command of his voice. "Dinner."

Swallowing her melancholy, she pushed off of the sofa and marched into the kitchen, taking her seat and trying to ignore the mixture between hunger and nausea that nagged inside her. Aaron lowered a perfectly cooked filet of some local fish beside a bed of rice on her plate.

"I would appreciate it from now on if you didn't take my son without notifying me first," she folded her hands in her lap, eyes still focused on the plate below her. "No matter what delusions you have in your head about the way things should be, he is still my son, first and foremost, and if anything happens to him, I will kill you again and again until there are no bodies left for you to download into."

"I took him fishing," he slid into his seat beside her. "That's hardly kidnapping."

"You still could have told me. What was I to think when I woke up and found him gone… my only memory of being poisoned with your false apology. How was I to know you didn't poison me so you could take him?"

"I would never do that to you, Kendra. I know how much you love him, how happy he makes you."

"Just like you knew how much Tamlyn meant to me? Like how I was never a prisoner…"

Ares watched between them, eyes shifting toward the speaker of each new sentence.

"You are only a prisoner right now because you don't know what's best for you."

"And you do? You drugged me, Aaron, did God only knows what to my body while I was unconscious… how can you know what's better for me than I do?"

"I did nothing to you," he said.

"That explains how I got upstairs."

"I carried you upstairs so you would be more comfortable," he explained. "And I drugged you because I'm tired of fighting with you, tired of your misery."

She was surprised at how easily the smile jerked at the corners of her sarcastic mouth, "I guess you should have thought about that before you had Leoben killed and drug me out here to play house with you."

He was just about to open his mouth in continuance of their repartee when a distant rumble so powerful that it shook the cottage startled them both into silence. It was followed by a second just moments later, and then a third more powerful explosion as far away as New Caprica City.

"What is that?" she and Aaron both pushed their chairs away from the table.

Leaving Ares at the table, they walked outside, eyes toward the sky where incoming Vipers dotted the sky and already smoke rose from various locations in the distance. "We're under attack," there was disbelief in Aaron's voice.

"Oh my God," she murmured.

"Go back inside," Aaron said, turning toward the door himself. "Stay inside with Ares. I have to go to the city and find out what's going on."

"You're just going to leave us here?" she protested. "You can't just leave us here. What if they draw the attacks away from the city?"

"Trust me, no one is even aware of the projects we've started out here. You'll be safe here," Aaron promised, grabbing her by the arm and leading her back inside the cottage.

Ares had turned around in his seat at the table to see what they were doing, while outside the distant rumble of bombings continued.

"Stay inside and wait for me," he told her, grabbing his jacket from a peg just inside the door. "If they decide to evacuate, I will do everything in my power to hurry back for you, but in the meantime, you must stay here."

"Everything in your power?" Suddenly the pressure in her head made the situation seem impossible. "You're just going to leave us out here to die."

"No," he shook his head. "I will not leave you here to die. I am coming back for you. I promise."

He started toward the door, stopping only once to look back at her, but it didn't matter. Even if he was coming back for her, she would rather die than go with him. She walked back into the kitchen and sat down with Ares at the table.

"Loud booms," he said.

"I hear them," she nodded, solemnly resting her chin in her hand. "Just eat your supper, okay?"

She watched while he ate, her own hunger driven away by fear, by the notion of all the sins she had committed to give her son a better life. Was this God's punishment for her selfishness? She closed her eyes and prayed over and over again for God to see them through whatever horrors might await them.

After dinner, she sat in the living room with the lights dim, Ares on her lap flipping through the pages of book after book. Every time there was a bombing in the city he would look up at her and wait for some kind of explanation. What did she tell him? That the people in the city were tearing themselves apart? That it was only a matter of time before they were next?

"Look at the train here," she pointed his attention back to the pages before them. "Mama used to right a train, long ago in Caprica City."

When he finally bored of books, he moved onto the floor with his blocks, completely oblivious to the distant bombings now, as if the ground shaking madness had sunk into him enough to be forgotten. Kendra stood at the side window watching New Caprica burn, the far-off sky nearly as black as night from the smoke.

If this was the end, there was no hope left to be had, she supposed. Leoben really wasn't coming back for her; maybe he never was. She closed the curtains with a sigh and returned to her place on the sofa. She had no idea what an evacuation meant for her. Did she become a cylon prisoner, trapped on their baseship in some secret compartment where Aaron Doral fed and watered her like some pet human? And Aaron knew that Ares was Leoben's son, so what did that mean for him? Leoben had told her weeks before that children were treasured by the cylon, reproduction was one of God's commandments, and he had rewarded the cylon with only two children. Kendra had not known of the other, the child of a Galactica pilot and one of the Number Eight models. She had been called Hera, but she had died shortly after her birth.

Would Ares become some kind of experiment for the cylon, a specimen to be picked apart and examined until they discovered what made him tick? Leoben had assured her that the revelation of his birth would create a buzz among the cylons, and they would treat the boy like a prince, but Leoben was gone again and she no longer knew what to believe in. Now Aaron was gone too, and she had no idea if he would really come back for her.

Even if he did, she wouldn't go on being his prisoner, especially if he took her back to he baseship with him. She would rather stay on New Caprica and die alone than board another ship bound for nowhere. Those years in space had been nerve wracking, the constant longing to be outside in the fresh air, to sit beside a stream and listen to the water trickle past her. Space was a cold, dead place filled with turmoil and hopelessness. She'd only gotten through it because of Tamlyn and Ares, but she never wanted to put her son back on another ship if she could help it. Never wanted to cage him up like that again.

Not long after the sun went down, she put Ares down for bed, just as she would have done any other night, and then she returned to the living room and tried to figure out how to stop Aaron from taking them away again. She surveyed the room for a weapon, but found nothing that would give her good range. She wanted to be as far away from him as possible, the painful reminder of his hands on her face still painful bruises.

She had seen a shovel outside, near the small tool shed outback. He had started planning a garden, turning the soil, but had yet to sow the seeds. She stepped outside without her jacket, hugging her arms against herself to ward off the chill as she hurried around to the back of the cottage. The shovel was no longer leaning against the shed where he'd left it, but she opened the doors and found it hanging neatly on the wall inside the door. She lifted it off of the hook and tested its weight in her hands. It would be enough to knock him out, she thought, and once he was out cold, it would be easier to kill him.

The darkness from the smoke seemed to be moving closer, like a heavy cloud of destruction carried swiftly on the wind toward her. The explosions seemed to be dying down, and there were less ships on the horizon than there had been when Aaron first left. She wondered if the battle was over, if the people had been liberated or if the cylons had put an end to their retaliation once and for all.

Either way, when he came back, she knew what she had to do.

Kill. She had never imagined that she would come upon a day when she contemplated killing another being, not even a cylon. Accepting Leoben's nature years earlier, she had long since stopped thinking in terms of difference. Human, cylon—both of them dreamed, feared, loved and in the end they all bled red. Despite the cylon ability to download into new bodies, they still had to go through the agony of death.

It was wrong. Killing him was wrong and she knew it, but after everything he had done to her, she could think of no stronger punishment. He had killed Leoben, not once, but twice. He had killed Tamlyn after driving a wedge between them. The only thing he hadn't taken away from her was Ares, but it was only a matter of time. He had been working on the boy for days. Everything she had ever loved, he had taken away from her and tried to insert himself into that place in her heart.

"God," she sat on the sofa holding the shovel on her lap, waiting for a sign of his return. "I don't know what you require of me, how best to pray to you, but I am in desperate need of your guidance. I am at the end of my rope. I feel it fraying in my grasp, and moment by moment I slip further and further away from who I am." She squeezed her eyes against stinging tears. "Please, God, help me."

A/N: I know that the timing of this is off a little bit. I'm going to have to go back at some point and lengthen the cylon occupation so that these final chapters don't seem as abrupt. As it stands, only about seven or eight weeks seemed to pass according to the narrative, and the occupation lasted about four months.


	20. Chapter 20

The headache from being drugged made her drowsy, even though she wanted nothing more than to stay awake and wait for him fueled by the fire of vengeance. If she fell asleep, he would catch her off-guard, and she might never be able to carry out the feeble plan she'd concocted. Every few minutes, her head fell forward and she jerked it back again, wide awake for another minute or two, and then again it would fall slowly forward. Even asleep she was aware of every sound around her. Ares turning over in his bed in the other room, the distant, but constant hum of the windmills turning.

She was surprised that the windmills hadn't drawn more attention from the resistance. Surely they were visible as the vipers passed over the airspace, but they had remained untouched, nearly all of the battle taking place in New Caprica City. But after the sun had gone down, the explosions had diminished, save for the occasionally floor-shaking resonation, reminding her that things weren't over yet.

That subtle awareness alerted her to the sound of an engine, and though there was no evidence of oncoming lights yet, the engine was certainly drawing closer to the cottage, rather than away. It sounded like one of the trucks, so she jumped up from the sofa and ran to the window, peeling the curtains back just enough to watch the road. Sure enough, the distant flicker of headlights bounced along the unpaved road.

Aaron was on his way home.

Dread dropped into the pit of her stomach like a ball of lead, the shovel handle gripped in her sweaty palm. She let the curtain fall back into place and moved over to the door, positioning herself beside it so that she could easily catch him off guard when he came in. She gripped the handle tighter, the head of the shovel so close to her face that she could smell the dried earth upon it. The engine rumbled nearer, the shifting of gears giving away its position, calculating how much time she had before he arrived.

Head throbbing, the back of her throat was so dry, like she'd swallowed a mouthful of sand. Beads of sweat broke out along her forehead and the base of her neck as she contemplated how little room there was for failure. If the shovel didn't knock him out, she didn't know what she would do. He'd already raised his hand to her, what was to stop him from killing her? He didn't need her after all, no matter how much he claimed to love her. It was Ares that he wanted, a son, a human-cylon child with the power to bring hope for their survival.

Headlights beamed through the windows, lined shadows along the walls, and then there was the sound of a truck door slamming. She thought she even heard hurried footsteps racing toward the door, and she braced herself, eyes squeezed tightly shut, the shovel handle tight in her grip.

"Kendra," only the voice that called out to her was not Aaron's. She held her position, not allowing herself to believe the lie of that voice on the other side. "Kendra, are you in there?" The knob shook as it turned, the door opening a crack before he pushed through.

She held the shovel up like a baseball bat and said, "Don't move, or I'll smash in your skull."

Hands went up in the air as he took two steps backward, "It's okay, Kendra, it's me. I've come to take you and Ares away from here. The cities in ruins, everyone is fleeing."

"How do I know that it's you? You're supposed to be dead, airlocked too far away to ever download again."

"Yeah, well, his plan failed," he told her. "The other Fives were far less willing to risk a civil war than Aaron Doral, and they helped me escape. It's me, Kendra." There was pleading in his voice. "I've come back for you and our son, but we have to hurry, Kendra. We have to leave now, or we'll be left behind."

"I'm not going anywhere," she refused, taking a step back, the shovel still heavy in her hands. "I'm not putting my son another ship, human or cylon, to rot out the rest of his days not knowing the feel of sunlight on his face or wind in his hair."

"Kendra," the headlights outside made strange shadows across his face, reminding her of the lights outside their bedroom window back on Caprica. "We'll be left behind. The Galactica liberated your people, the Pegasus fell, taking out the apartment complex. Both of our people are leaving this place."

She shook her head, "I don't care, Leoben."

"Okay, but put the shovel down. We can talk about this."

"How do I know you're who you say you are?"

"Who else would I be?"

"I don't know? You could be anyone pretending to be who you say you are? Aaron sent you like some kind of trap to lure me away from here."

"Hardly," he laughed. "In fact, Aaron is probably on his way here right now, especially now that he knows I escaped his trap."

"That still doesn't convince me," she said.

His movement was swift, his hand grasping her wrist and drawing her against him, his mouth seeking hers out in a kiss so powerful that the doubt inside of her should have vanished. She lifted her gaze toward his, looked into his eyes.

"I've been here before," she whispered, remembering his words the first night they had made love again after all those years apart.

"I remember, Kendra," Leoben said. "I remember everything. On the morning of the day I died, I knew that there was something wrong with me. I had these little flashes of awareness, hints of who I really was. I felt like I was betraying you, you—who loved me so deeply, so unconditionally… Kendra, I didn't deserve you then, and I don't now."

"Leoben," she drew into his hand, which pressed into the small of her back. "I don't want to go back up there," she said. "Not with your people, not with mine. I think they've all got it wrong. All the fighting and the war against each other. As long as we're with them, we'll never have the life we deserve."

He lifted his hand to her cheek, his mouth stretching into a slow smile as he nodded, "I think you're right. I think that it would be impossible for us to go with them, but where do we go from here?"

Before she could answer, headlights barreled toward the cottage and she drew Leoben inside, closing the door. "It's him," she said, hardly aware of the trembling fear in her own voice. "He said he would be back for us."

"He can't hurt you anymore," Leoben pushed her to the side, holding her behind him with his arm. He had a gun in the other hand, which he held steadily pointed at the door. "And he will never come between us again."

In the silence she heard a truck door slam outside, like Leoben he had left the truck engine running. They waited, listening for the sound of footsteps, for him to come rushing through the front door, but after several slow minutes frozen in time, nothing happened and no one came. Both of them stood so still that the sound of Kendra's own breath was all she could hear, and then there was movement behind them in Ares' bedroom.

"No," she turned in that direction just in time for Aaron to come staggering toward the door with the child in his arms, a gun held to the boy's head. "No, Aaron, put him down! Please."

"He's the only guarantee I have," Aaron said. "The only thing of value left here, and I'm taking him with me back to the baseship. He belongs with us, with his own people."

"You are not one of his people," Leoben held the gun on Aaron, the entire scene making Kendra so nervous with terror she feared she might pass out. "You are a traitor and a murderer, Aaron Doral. Even now the others await your return to the baseship where you will be isolated and studied before you are exterminated."

Aaron's face blanched white with the truth, but his wide eyed madness didn't waver. "You speak as though the fear of extermination is enough to stop me, but you should know how little death means, Leoben. After all, you are the shaman, always treading the stream, heeding the call of a God who does not listen. I'm not afraid to die," he said. "And if I die, the boy dies too."

"No!"

"You won't hurt the boy because he means too much to you. You already died for him once, and that is what true love is all about in the end, isn't it? Sacrifice."

Ares' started to cry, and Kendra longed to reach out for him. "Ares," She lunged forward, but Aaron shifted the gun from her son to her, and Leoben snatched out with his free hand to hold her at bay.

"It doesn't matter," she turned back over her shoulder to look at him, tears blurring his image. "Let him kill me if that's what he wants. I'd rather die than let him take my child from me."

"You don't have to die, Kendra," Aaron said. There was softness in his voice, and that same sense of longing that he had spoken to her with when planning out the future he wanted for them. "You can come with me. We'll go together."

Kendra looked toward Aaron. She blinked and the tears dripped down her face and over her chin. Ares was screaming now, the terror in his cry more than she could bear, but she knew what she had to do. She turned back to Leoben, her eyes pleading for him to understand, to see inside her soul the way she knew he could. "Leoben, I have to go with him," she said. "It's the only way."

"No, Kendra," he shook his head.

She drew in close to him, reached down into his hand and wrapped her fingers around the cold weapon. She felt him release the gun into her grasp and she coiled her fingers around the handle. "You have to let me do this, Leoben," she whispered against his mouth before kissing him. "I'm not afraid anymore."

"Kendra," he protested as she drew away.

"This is what I have to do," she said, as she stepped away from him, her eyes pleading for his understanding just before she turned to face Aaron. "God had a plan and that plan went awry because someone interfered." Her steps toward him were steadfast, but each one felt like it took place in slow motion. "It wasn't right, but it will be now," she smiled at Aaron, a genuine smile. His hazel eyes alight with triumph, his mouth twitched into an amazing grin, and he lowered the gun from the baby's head. "Everything will be as it should be."

Kendra felt like she was moving too slow, but it all happened so quickly. She lifted the gun to Aaron's chest and pulled the trigger. His face distorted with agony, disbelieving eyes locked on hers as the gun in his hand tumbled to the floor. He reached out and grasped her wrist, drawing her close, but she was already wresting Ares out of his arms, Leoben moving in behind her to take the boy and she let him go. Aaron staggered backward, her wrist still in his hand, and she stumbled onto her knees over him when he fell.

"I know the answer now, Kendra," blood specked his lips when he spoke. "The answer to the question I asked you that day… whether or not love was powerful enough to make you want to live and die for the one you loved?"

Kendra wrenched her wrist from his grasp but remained on her knees above him, watching his agony drain the color from his face. "You don't love me, Aaron.

"I do love you, Kendra," he lifted his hand out and touched her face, his finger tracing the contour of her cheek before it slipped away. "I had to die for you to prove it, but I do," coughing spasms seized him, the blood now pouring from his mouth, staining his shirt and pooling into a puddle on the hardwood floor beneath him.

She closed her eyes, turning her head away, and even as Ares screamed in Leoben's arms behind her, the truck engines roaring as they idled outside, she heard nothing but the finality of Aaron's dying breath, and then she broke down into sobs.

It was over. He was dead, but she knew inside that somehow it would never really be over. Leoben laid a hand on her shoulder, holding it there until she was ready to stand again, and then she turned into his arms, the three of them holding onto one another. A family reunited at last.


	21. Epilogue

Kendra sat on the hillside watching the water rush through the stream below. Leoben and Ares had hiked to a quieter spot up the stream to fish more than an hour earlier, leaving her to her thoughts alone. The intensity of the sun's silver light caused her to squint from time to time, or shade her eyes, but she didn't mind. There was nothing more incredible than the sun on one's face and the wind in one's hair. She never wanted to take advantage of those things again.

As if in agreement, the life inside her shifted position, a tumbling so powerful that she was sure her kidneys had been bruised in the process. She reached down to smooth her hand over the round surface of her belly, and she smiled. It was almost time. The doctor had told her she could go at any day while they were in the village three days earlier.

Leoben called it the village, but Kendra wasn't sure how much of a village it was, really. A small smattering of survivors clumped together where New Caprica City had once been. They had been rebuilding the city piece by piece for almost five years, restoring one of the apartment complexes to house the people, getting the medical facility back on its feet. Slowly, the small number of survivors were putting some semblance of society together, but it hadn't always seemed so simple.

Out of the five hundred or so survivors, there had been only fourteen humanoid cylons and a small host of Centurions. It had been a difficult first year. Humanity, in the throes of desperation, had rallied against the surviving cylons. After all of the suffering endured during the years in exile, the vengeance of humanity over the annihilation and torture, Kendra felt helpless when they arrived and arrested Leoben. She was sure as she held onto him, screaming as they dragged him out, that they would never see one another again, but God had prevailed.

Through some miracle, reason touched the minds of the self-appointed council. Fourteen cylons were not a threat, especially fourteen cylons who wanted peace and the opportunity to live. Like Leoben, there was a Sharon model who had been living with a member of the human resistance, she had acted against her own kind time and time again because she believed in justice and morality. There were three Simons, all of whom had worked diligently in the medical center saving both human and cylon lives. Five of the Sixes had survived, two of them having worked side by side with Simon in the medical facility, the other three just wanted peace and an opportunity to live. Of the remaining four, there was a second Two, a soul even more spiritual and connected to God than Leoben. There were three of the Number Threes and one Number Five.

The number Five had been hard for her to acknowledge at first, as nightmares of Aaron Doral still raked through her nightly dreams. From time to time she dreamed of them together, the way he had said it should be, and sometimes those dreams felt so real that she woke up unsure of who and where she was. He'd left a part of himself behind in her, haunted her, but even now that part of him was slowly fading away. Every passing day drew another piece of him out of her memory, and the happiness of her choice to remain there on New Caprica created new memories, and soon that empty part of her life would disappear forever.

The sound of their voices alerted Kendra from her reverie, and she looked up to see Leoben and Ares walking back toward the embankment with poles over their shoulders and a bucket swinging between them. Leoben was talking, Ares avidly hanging on his father's every word as he pointed out the current in the stream and shared all that he knew of the universe with his son.

"Come on you two," she struggled against her awkwardly shaped body to stand, and seeing this Leoben hurried toward her and held out his hand. "You can study patterns and flow through the stream later. Right now, I'm starving."

"It's a good thing we did well then," he held the bucket toward her. "Your son caught two of these all by himself."

"Good for you, Ares," she reached out and tousled his hair when he turned a toothless, eight-year-old smile up at her. "Though I'm not sure if your father is trying to turn you into a fisherman or a spiritualist."

"There's room for both," Leoben laughed, and lowered his arm down over Kendra's shoulder. "Go on, tell your mother what you learned today about a drop of water into a puddle."

"It goes on and on forever," Ares said. "And that is what we are. We are drops of water into the puddle of all creation. We go on and on forever."

"You make your father so proud," she drew him in close on her other side, and the three of them began the long walk home.

Five hundred survivors became six hundred, six hundred became seven, and as they grew together, they nurtured the land and endured the long, damp winters of New Caprica. They thrived as best they could, and they multiplied. Perhaps they would never be a viable representation of humanity, but they would live on and they would continue to multiply until one day there was no way to distinguish the difference between human and cylon.

A/N: Thank you to the thousands of people who have read this story over the last six weeks. I was surprised by the numbers, but pleased that everyone kept coming back to each new chapter. I would also like to say thank you to all those who were kind enough to leave reviews. They are always welcome and appreciated.


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